More often than not, at the end of every relationship the ‘we need to talk’ conversation is a break up. Whether it is with dignity or a massive egg-fight is a subject for another day. But what do you do when you turn single all of a sudden? It’s natural to find the attached strings taking you back to the ex. But pull hard and do not send that text message or make that call! You are inviting trouble and drama. If you find yourself on the verge of hitting the speed dial on your ex’s number, here’s a list of 10 reasons why you shouldn’t go through with the call. But even after reading this you’re hard put to give them a call, then, by all means, hit dial.
1. It’s hard to let go of your residual feelings
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After a break up, it takes some time to let go of your feelings for the other person. Being friends with your ex-partner immediately will not give you the required time and separation to get over the relationship. With all those residual feelings still just under the surface, being ‘just friends’ can turn into a huge disaster. It takes its emotional toll on you.
2. Hoping to get together again
Sooner or later you would develop the false hope that your relationship is somehow meant to be. It can be heart-wrenching to see that your hope fizzing out when it doesn’t go that way.
3. Difficult to move on
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Normally, after a break from all romantic interludes and a little bit of whining, you would tend to move on and try your luck in the world of dating, albeit with a bit of wariness. However, if you continue to hang out with your ex, you’ll be constantly stuck in your past and miss out on other better opportunities.
4. It could lead to more break-ups
Even when you talk yourself into a new relationship, if you continue to be ‘friends’ with your ex, your new love interest would feel insecure and jealous. With no emotional security, you are bound to go through several more break-ups.
5. You compromise your happiness
A break up usually happens when both or either one of you are not happy with how things are going. Staying connected with each other will only keep the discomfort alive. Let loose the shackles of the past and move on.
6. Discussing current love life
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With so much history between the two of you, it could get uncomfortable to share each other’s current love life without feeling the pinch.
7. Ex remains the ex
Even if you have graduated to a stage where the two of you are ‘good friends,’ it remains tainted with the ‘ex factor.’ One of you could always have a stronger connection for the other, and he/she may end up introducing you as their ex or vice-a-versa.
8. Déjà vu
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Irrespective of how long you two were in a relationship, there are certain memories, personal jokes and heart-to-heart conversations that remain fresh in the memory. Hanging out with your ex after the breakup is bound to take you on a trip down the memory lane. The bond will be on the verge of revival, and is bound to confuse you both on how to move forward.
9. Slipping in the false comfort zone
It is clearly all over between the two of you, but spending time together is getting you comfortable. You don’t want to step out and meet new people to start a new relationship which might be the best one of your life. Sooner or later this bubble will burst as you ex starts dating again.
10. Being the support
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As a friend to your ex, you are expected to comfort and support him/her whenever needed (because you know and understand). But since you are not dating, it’s no longer your job. Besides it will only make you emotionally inclined towards him/her.
Well, these are just some of the most important reasons why remaining friends with your ex is a bad idea. I’m sure there are plenty more valid and logical reasons why you shouldn’t fall back into that relationship, because it is one sinkhole from which getting back out is an emotional and mental drain. However tempted you might be to fall back into that familiar pseudo safety net, it’s not worth it in the end.
Featured image source: Shutterstock
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