”Man does not control his own fate. The women in his life do that for him,” said Groucho Marx. Any average man would agree with this statement!! Women are often accused of trying to ‘change’ a man, to turn him into their ideal versions, and a good part of this changing process includes nagging.
Nagging is defined as a process where one person repeatedly requests the other person to do something, and the other person repeatedly ignores it, leading to frustration for both parties. In society, nagging is predominantly seen between spouses or romantic partners and between parents and children. While both men and women nag, men seem to restrict their nagging to other men, while women seem to spare no one! This has created the stereotype of the nagging wife or nagging girlfriend.
Now, if you’ve been at the receiving end of a nagging woman in your life, you’re probably nodding your head as you read this. You can’t seem to understand why the woman you love can’t just leave you alone, and a future filled with nagging begins to scare you. If you’re wondering if this is just a phase or if nagging is a part of your girlfriend’s nature, you’re in the right place. Read on to know the 8 ways to determine what’s causing all this nagging in your life.
1. She can give Monica from ‘Friends’ a run for her money
If you’ve seen the TV show, ‘Friends’, you know about Monica, the cleanliness freak who’s obsessed with keeping everything clean and in its place. If this sounds like your girlfriend, then nagging is bound to be a life-long thing. Unless she finds a person who’s exactly as obsessed with the same things, she’s going to nag her partner who can’t keep up with her super-organization skills.
2. She’s suddenly turned into a nag overnight
You’ve been with your girlfriend for a long time now, and she’s never been like this. If you’re past the honeymoon stage a while back and she’s suddenly turned into a nag, then it means that she’s going through some trouble. She’ll probably get over it when she figures out how to deal with it. Else, try to ask if you can help.
3. She has an anxiety problem
People with an anxiety problem are always on edge, and often have pessimistic thoughts. Their insecurities can manifest into a need to control those closest to them, of which nagging might be a form. While in this case, nagging is part of your girlfriend’s nature, seeing a therapist for the anxiety might help fix it too.
4. There has been a major change in your lives together
Has there been any major change in your relationship? One of you is on a career break or has got a promotion, or someone has suggested taking the relationship to the next level – any of these can change the dynamics of the relationship and can create internal power struggles. In this case, nagging is just an outpouring of this internal conflict and will go away when things settle down.
5. She behaves the same way with her close friends and immediate family
Does your girlfriend nag her friends or little brother the same way? Then she’s probably been doing this since childhood and it’s ingrained into her psyche. Getting rid of this habit is going to be quite a challenge, and might not be worth the effort.
6. Her parents or older siblings are prone to nagging her
Is she constantly nagged by her Mom, even on the phone? Then it’s a classic case of the abused turning into the abuser. Most of us imbibe personality traits from our parents and they reflect in our lives too, whether we do it consciously or not. Stopping this vicious cycle might take some work, but it’s possible. She first needs to understand that she doesn’t have to accept her Mom’s nagging, and this will start reflecting in her behavior towards you as well.
7. She doesn’t say anything nice about you
Everyone appreciates a good word from their partners every now and then, but if all you ever hear is ‘why didn’t you take out the trash’ or ‘how many times did I tell you about the toilet seat,’ then you have a problem. Your girlfriend’s probably lost all interest in you, or your relationship has lost its spark. If she agrees to work towards giving the relationship another go, she’ll probably get over the nagging. That’s a big ‘probably.’
8. You have changed
Your girlfriend’s nagging is not always about her, it’s about you too. Have a good look at yourself and see if you’re misconstruing her good-natured criticism for nagging. Have you become distant and resentful when she asks for help around the house? Some men let their guard down once they are committed, and not in a good way. Your girlfriend might be upset at how her once energetic Prince is now a couch potato.
While experts agree that women nag more, there is also the issue of men using the ‘nagging girlfriend’ stereotype to excuse themselves from all blame and place the entire burden of the relationship on the woman. Make sure you’re not subconsciously doing the same when you accuse your girlfriend of nagging. If you still think that she’s at fault, try to get down to the root cause and help her, if she needs it. A caring man who tries to understand his woman – that is the Prince she is looking for!!
Featured image source: Shutterstock
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