Every sane person enters a relationship thinking that it’s going to last a long time. But sometimes things happen, and now it’s all over. You might have even built up a whole future with this person, made plans for this said future, and even started working towards it. And now it seems like there’s nothing left anymore.
A breakup is terrible, no matter who initiated the breakup, and for what. This is especially so when you didn’t want the relationship to end, or if they sprung how not in love with you they were. However, what’s important here is that you getting back up on your feet, pick up the pieces of your broken heart, and understand how to love again, because a life without love isn’t worth living.
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Life isn’t perfect, and neither is love. The flaws, the little imperfections are what make life perfect as it is. As someone once brilliantly pointed out, you wouldn’t understand and appreciate happiness, if you never knew pain and sadness. The same way, you won’t understand and appreciate true love without first understanding how painful and agonizing a broken heart feels.
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This is the phase where you give up on love and say, ‘Chuck love. I can survive on my own.’ Granted, having your heart broken destroyed your faith in love, but that is life. It’s unpredictable, it’s messy, and it doesn’t always pan out the way you thought it would. What makes a heartbreak worth it is if you learn from it, deal with it effectively, mourn the loss, cherish the good times, and move on with your life. And giving up on love altogether is not the answer to a broken heart.
Think of a breakup like the end of a dark tunnel, while the new relationship you step into as the light at the end of that tunnel. How long you take to make that journey from the end to step into the light, is up to you.
But is giving up on love altogether the answer to a breakup? Remember, it’s bad relationships that cause heartache, not love. Assuming that love just doesn’t exist is not exactly the answer to your heartache, just because of one failed relationship or one wrong person who made you miserable.
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Also, if you’re one of those cynics who goes around telling people that love doesn’t exist to make yourself feel better, just STOP. Just because you’re hurt, doesn’t mean you can around hurting other people or trying to turn them into cynics too. Get yourself together, take your time to grieve the loss of a relationship, and move on. And when you’re ready to look for that special someone, all you have to do is take a leap of faith – like you did the first time around, and dive in with both feet.
So if you want to learn how to love again, follow these step to experience a happier, better relationship, and experience the magic of love again.
1. Your past relationship is history – in the past
Learn to accept that your old relationship is over, done and dusted. If you’re one of those people who mopes around and pines and dwells incessantly over their lost relationships, just stop. Granted that the pain of the breakup truly felt gut-wrenching, but it’s over now. So let it go. Now, you have the choice to be happy; embrace it with both arms. It’s natural to feel as if it’s wrong to feel happy and cheerful again after a breakup, but if you keep dwelling on the same thing, how will you get over it?
Healing from a broken heart happens differently for different people. Go for what works for you. Convince yourself that the relationship is over and done with, instead of waiting for that one phone call, one text message from your ex, that you keep hoping for. If you keep hoping for something that might never come to pass, you’ll never let it go. Hope may spring eternal, but such desperate hope is hopeless, truly.
Unless you remind yourself over and over again that your relationship is truly over, you won’t be able to move on.
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2. Find out what went wrong
When a breakup happens, it might seem like it came out of the left field and hit you when you least expected it, or it may have been preceded by several fights, disagreements, and arguments that led to your partner calling it quits. Whatever the reason for the breakup, there are some lessons to be learnt from it.
Introspection can be very powerful when used for the right reasons. What went wrong? Was it your choice in the kind of person you chose to be with? Were you insecure, or jealous, or controlling, or dominating? Or did you always have a feeling that this was doomed from the start? Learn from this failed relationship, so that you can be aware of your mistakes or patterns that you follow in relationships, to avoid repeating the same ones.
There’s no better teacher than experience, and this experience will help you be a better version of yourself in the next relationship.
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3. Enjoy your newly minted single status
Whether or not it was your choice to exit a relationship, you’re now single, although debatable on being ready to mingle. So enjoy your single status. Granted that you were invested in the relationship and hoped that it would last a long time, but it’s all in the past now. Don’t let your past ruin your present or even your future. Don’t let it weigh you down. Play the field, enjoy new experiences, learn new things, and even go out on dates with crushes or people you find interesting. The point is to get yourself out there. If you want to learn how to love again, realize that everything happens for a reason, even if the reason isn’t apparent, and that every dark cloud has a silver lining.
Try to look on the bright side of life; learn from your experiences, for there’s no better teacher than life. Use these steps to learn to love again, and be happy.
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