The part with B1 & B2 is a WhatsApp conversation. I just wanted to highlight the obsession and addiction we have with our phones, which causes us to miss moments that transpire around us.
B1: “Hey”
B2: “Hey”
B1: “Wassup dude?”
B2:
“Nothin’ much bruh.
Just chillin’ in my hood.
What about u?”
B1:
“Was getting bored.
No electricity in the house.
Came off to this kickass new ice-cream parlour that’s opened here.”
B2:
“No electricity?
Damn man, that blows.
It’s all the Government’s fault, I tell you.”
B1:
“Yea, the Government.”
“Dude!”
“Dude!!”
“Duuuuuuude!!!”
“This incredibly pretty chick just sat behind me!!!”
B2:
“No kidding! Tell me more.”
B1:
“Damn cute man, real pretty face and got quite a nice body as well.”
“I just looked behind and spotted her coming towards the table. She glanced at me as well.”
“Brown eyes man, chocolate brown eyes.”
B2:
“Faaaack!”
“What’s she doing now?”
B1:
“At an ice cream parlor? What do you think?”
“Wait, she’s reading something. Book of some sorts.”
“I think she’s here because of the power cut as well.”
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Common License
B2:
“Same reason as you huh?”
“Hey, why don’t you go and talk to her?”
B1:
“Talk to her?”
“Yea, I think I’ll do that.”
“So, I’ll step up and say hello?”
B2:
“Yea, yea.”
“Say hi.”
“My name is blah-blah.”
“I saw you while you were entering the shop.”
“You look cute, may we talk? Etc. Etc.”
B1:
“I saw you when you were entering the shop?”
“Dude, that kinda sounds stalker-ish.”
“What if I just turn and say, ‘hi, I think you’re cute’?”
B2:
“Yea, because every girl dreams about the creepy Prince Charming who suddenly swivels out of nowhere.”
“Just go and sit across from her.”
B1:
“Sit across? Isn’t that being slightly presumptuous?”
“I mean, I’ve just seen her.”
“Random guy sits across from her, she’ll definitely freak.”
“Screw it, I’ll stand.”
“And just say, ‘Hi, may I have a seat?’”
B2:
“Sounds about right to me.”
B1:
“Right? I’ll do it.”
“Dude, should I ask for her number?”
B2:
“I think that is cool man.”
“You know the protocol.”
“Name-number-whatsapp-facebook-facetime/skype-date.”
B1:
“I don’t see why there has to be a protocol.”
“What if I go straight from whatsapp to date?”
“That may happen.”
B2:
“The protocol’s trusted and tried mate.”
“Don’t doubt the protocol.”
“It’s a code, a way of life.”
B1:
“Yea, yours.”
“People used to meet and start dating without having to go through that protocol some time back, remember?”
B2:
“Yea, like our grandparents.”
B1:
“Or if she’s like my soul mate or something.”
“Maybe we’ll meet and she’ll complete me and I’ll do the same for her and all that shiznit.”
B2:
“Like that’s happening!”
“But damn man, if it does, it would be damn cool wouldn’t it?”
“Imagine telling your kids that’s how you met their mother.”
B1:
“I’m a regular Ted Mosby aren’t I?”
“And what does that make you? Barney?”
B2:
“Hey, I’m the one with the protocol and shit.”
“That’s a step away from the playbook. Of course I’m Barney.”
“Now, enough dawdling.”
“Go and introduce yourself to the mother of your children.”
“May the force be with you.”
Suggested read: How to save face after sending a drunk text to an ex
B1:
“Well, here goes nothing.”
B1 gets up from his table, takes a deep breath and turns around… to see himself staring at a family of four loudly gulping down their ice cream.
“What the hell?! When did she leave?”
(Hint: The answer’s in the title)
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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