“I have no idea what to do. Every time I turn my back, he is flirting with another woman. Every time I turn around, he is looking her up and down and undressing her with his eyes. Is there a way of taming my Casanova husband?”
Does this sound like you? Does your husband have a wandering eye? Is he the Casanova that you fell in love with? The Casanova that you found so smooth, suave, and sophisticated when you met him? The Casanova that held the key to your heart? The same Casanova that could hold the key to many other women’s hearts?
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Take a step back. You are married to your husband because he loves you. You have been intimate together. He has expressed a desire to spend his life with you, and only you. Feelings of insecurity within your relationship are ultimately going to damage the very thing you hold dear – your marriage. The “Casanova” in your husband is the very reason you fell in love with him. Don’t try and tame him; embrace him for who he is. Always remember, he chose you.
Think back to when you were first together. I know that it is difficult at times. Things have changed now. You are older. You have financial pressure, busy lives, and other concerns. Though by remembering back to the days when you first fell in love, to when you were first intimate together, you can provide yourself with the tools you require to combat the challenges you now face. By remembering what it was that stimulated you both then, you can equip yourself with a plan to move forward together. By harnessing those moments, those times when you were close, those times when you turned him on, you can commence working on your relationship from a position of strength. Be positive in the knowledge that he loved you, that he chose you, and only you.
Suggested read: 15 sad signs your man is cheating on you
Often, men fantasize about being in the company of other women. Many men engage in flirting with other women, and at times, they may even dream of being intimate with other women. This can occur at times when they feel a sense of ‘sameness’ about the relationship they are in, a sense of boredom. It may even occur during times when they are most comfortable about the relationship they are in. During these times, they may feel an overwhelming need to escape, to be free again, to take risks, to sow their wild oats. You need to understand that this is often more about them, than it is about you. That said, you in turn, need to remain close to them at all times. You need to express the way you are feeling. However, expressing feelings of insecurity may not hold the key. If you feel insecure, he may then feel insecure in return.
It’s a complicated thing, isn’t it? Why can’t he just be normal? Why can’t he just be an average guy like everyone else’s husbands are? Why does he have to be such a Casanova? “I’m never going to tame him,” you keep saying to yourself. “A leopard never changes his spots,” your mother always told you.
Hold on just a second. Don’t become caught up in feelings of self-doubt. Or feelings of annoyance with your husband. You married him because he was suave, smooth, and sophisticated. You married him because you didn’t want the guy next door. Now is your time to love him again for who he is. To remember that he, in fact, loved you enough to take your hand and walk you down the aisle.
Don’t pamper him. There is no need to flatter him every second of the day, to feed his Casanova ways. Though there is a need to share with him what it is you are feeling. To then come to an understanding of what it is he is feeling. Never feel too scared to open up to him, to engage with him, to question his thoughts and his actions. Remember, only through sharing your innermost thoughts, and even your innermost desires together, can you come to a deeper understanding of one another within your relationship. Only then can you truly tame your Casanova.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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