Most people nowadays don’t blink an eye while creating an online profile on a dating/matrimonial site, in the hopes of bumping into their future better-half. In this quest, you are sure to come across some profiles that make you cringe, grimace and sigh. Even people who are interesting and unique aren’t getting as many profile views or interest expressions as they’d like. Want to make your online matrimonial profile stand out and be noticed by many? Following these points is a step in the right direction:
1. Photos: ‘A picture is worth a thousand words’ – this truism is one which online profile creators ought to live by. Do the photos you’ve put up show off the ‘best’ you? Have you even bothered to upload a picture onto your profile? Because, according to statistics, the profiles with a photo gets more hits rather than one without.
On the contrary, a bad picture ruins the chances of the attention your profile deserves. For example, you standing in a group (which one are you?), you wearing sunglasses (eyes are the windows to your soul, reveal them), you sitting with a beer in hand and have a glazed look on your face (knowing that you imbibe socially is one thing, but advertising it in your profile pic is a no-no), you puckering your lips at the camera with your best friend (again, which one are you?)
A profile picture should have that balance of being candid and elegant enough to present the best version of yourself to potential partners, i.e., a photo taken during a vacation – you’ll definitely be footloose and fancy-free on a holiday, a photo of you decked up in all your glory at a friend’s wedding – lets your potentials know that you can rock both traditional and modern garb with equal aplomb.
2. True first impression: There is a reason why people remember the first lines from famous novels like Moby Dick, Pride & Prejudice, A Tale of Two Cities, et al. They all make an impact on the reader. They deliver a punch with either directness or subtlety. This first line will determine if the reader will venture forth to reading the rest of the novel or not. Similarly, the first line of your profile is the factor that will determine whether your matches will continue reading.
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You may not be an eloquent writer, but use simple words that you are comfortable with and get a trusted friend or your sibling to have a second look. The beginning of your profile should evoke just enough interest to make your matches want to keep on reading. You hook them with a compelling first line, and then draw them in with the body of your profile.
For example, you could use a personal motto, or a quote you live by, or characteristics that define you. And follow it up with a brief explanation of this statement. It should be a seamless read which balances the punch of your first line with a mellow explanation that follows.
3. Spellcheck & Grammar: Most people think it’s enough if you know how to articulate your thoughts verbally. But what they don’t realize is that however articulate they may be, their writing skills will bare their flaws in an instant. It is very important to check your spelling and grammar; this can’t be emphasized enough.
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Not only do abbreviations make you seem lazy not to mention less intelligent, but it also suggests a lack of effort and interest in your love-life – not exactly a turn-on. And it may also lead to inadvertently sending out the wrong message.
4. Dump the clichés: “Laid-back”, “smart”, “funny”, “easy-going” – relying heavily on adjectives like these don’t help in attracting a lot of attention. To someone who is thinking of getting to know you, these are vague indicators of who you are. They are yet to know you to be swayed by these clichéd adjectives. And please avoid sentences starting with, “My friends say/think … “ A prospective partner doesn’t want to know your friend’s opinion of you. They want to know your opinion of YOU.
You should focus on being specific about the present YOU, not so much your past or future self. Staying clear of too many “I used to …” stories or “I want to do … when I get time,” is a safe bet. Although revealing something about where you come from is nice, your profile is not a memoir. Keep these to when you meet in person and want to get to know each other. It’s more important to focus on the real-time you.
5. Just a peek is enough: The fact that your profile isn’t your memoir, can’t be stressed enough. Your profile is meant as much to give information, as it is to keep things private until the right moment. Meaning, it is meant to intrigue and pique their interest while giving them just a peek into your persona, so that it keeps the mystery alive. Talking about multiple topics and arousing just enough curiosity to make your potentials take the next step in contacting you, is the mark of a good and interesting profile.
6. Confident yet vulnerable: Think confidence and vulnerability don’t go together? Think again. Exuding confidence in one part of your profile, while making yourself vulnerable in another, is an art. But there is a fine line between being confident and coming across as cocky. Although baring your soul online is a no-no, there are small ways you can make show your vulnerable side without pouring your heart out. A slightly embarrassing yet beguiling anecdote is one way to achieve this. For example, an endearing nickname that got stuck since high school, or the time when you thought your professor was the janitor. These vulnerabilities make you look more approachable and relatable as an actual person with flaws, rather than the perfect person you’re trying so hard to come across as.
7. Don’t be stingy with words: Although keeping the word count to a minimum is a priority, don’t be so frugal with your words as to frustrate a potential match with absolutely no insight into you whatsoever. If they can’t get a handle on you as a person, then you’ll be partying with an empty inbox. Make sure to answer all of the questions the site asks you, to show that you’re open to putting yourself out there, no matter the outcome. That you’re serious enough about being in a committed relationship. That you’re open to the possibility of meeting someone new.
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A profile which packs a punch all while keeping the word count to a minimum, is a winner. And the thing to keep in mind is that you can’t arrive at this killer profile at one go. You have to keep experimenting with words that best describe you, and also be mindful as to not come across as cocky.
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