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To Cheat Or Not To Cheat: The Real Guide To Making Up Your Mind

Disclaimer: NewLoveTimes is a website that promotes love, friendship, healthy living and a better lifestyle. In no way do we believe in cheating or condone it. This article is purely for the psychological understanding of people who feel the urge to cheat, and what they can do to realize the consequences of their actions. There is no judgement or propaganda of any ideology involved.

More and more stories about people cheating on their partners and spouses are emerging, which is partially the reason that this act has become normalized in the society. People are having less of a moral problem engaging in such adulterous behavior, and you cannot be blamed if you too have felt the urge to cheat on your partner. There are many reasons why people cheat on their partners, some are logical and some are not. However, if you are still unable to decide, and you don’t know whether to cheat or not to cheat, then you can go through our guide, which could possibly lead you to a resolution. Wanting to cheat is more of a question of conscience, rather than a simple dilemma, and here are some pointers that could help you understand your urges better.

Suggested read: 8 definite signs to help you figure out if you’re dating a cheater

Situations that can compel people to cheat


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There are a number of circumstances that can compel people to cheat on their partners. Even though the reasons are all very personal and each individual’s influencing factor is different from the others’, there are some common factors that can force people to take such drastic decisions.

1. Being away from your partner physically for long periods of time.

Whether you work long hours, or stay in different cities or countries, physical distance between partners has a part to play in situations where one partner cheats on the other. They might feel the need for a physical and emotional connection immediately, because there is no denying that a void is created when people are away from each other.

2. Being addicted to substances like drugs and/or alcohol.

Substance and/or alcohol abuse is also a reason why people feel the urge to cheat. It plays a part by affecting your senses and your moral compass.

3. Being emotionally dependent on people other than your partner.

When people seek validation and emotional support from people other than their partner, they feel less morally obligated to stay loyal to their partners.

4. Having friends who have no qualms about cheating on their partner.

Friends play a huge role in influencing one’s decisions. If you have friends who have no problem cheating, you would be bound to be influenced by their actions and think it is okay to do the same.

5. Being around people who intrigue you sexually.

The most common reason why people cheat is because they are around people who fascinate them sexually. It is a primal feeling towards people you feel attracted to.

6. Being insecure about yourself.

Cheating is also a way to boost your self-esteem. If you are insecure about yourself, then cheating with another person is a way to tell yourself that people other than your partner also desire you.

Understanding the consequences of cheating and not cheating


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1. When you cheat: If you are wondering whether to cheat or not to cheat, you have to first understand the consequences of both. Most people cheat because they want sex. However, you also have to remember that after you have had sex, it is over and the consequences of your actions, relationship-wise are more severe than you realize. You are tempted to cheat, yes, and you might even be able to justify it to yourself, but you also have to remember that you will be sacrificing your entire relationship for instant gratification.

2. When you don’t cheat: When you don’t cheat, you keep thinking about the thing that you resisted. This is also a distraction from your relationship. This is the stage where you actually re-evaluate the reason you felt the temptation in the first place.

Be in a situation where you never have to say I wish I could turn back time. That is the worst kind of situation to be in, where you regret what you did, but you can’t turn back time.

Suggested read: 8 crucial questions to ask yourself before considering taking back a cheater

Things to consider before you cheat on your partner

Here are some things worth considering every time you have the urge to cheat:

1. Your actions will be discovered at one point or another: You cannot change the fact that no matter how careful you are when you are cheating on your partner, you will be discovered at one point in time or another.

2. The moment you are discovered, there is nothing you can do to redeem yourself: Once you do get discovered and your partner finds out, there is very little you can do to change how it affects your relationship. It will forever be an omnipresent thought in your relationship, if there is one after what you have done.

3. Consider what you would do in your partner’s place: If you found out that your partner was cheating on you, think of your reaction, and then multiply that by a 100 because it is unimaginable and think whether you are willing to put your partner through all that.


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4. There is no way you can justify cheating on your partner to yourself or others: You might try to blame it on your partner, you might say things like you were under emotional stress, you might even try to pass it off as letting off steam and missing your partner, but there is nothing you can say or do to justify or sugar coat the fact that you did indeed, decide to cheat on your partner.

5. The actual consequences won’t be as bad as your guilt conscience: There is no scenario where you won’t feel guilty or miserable after you have cheated on your partner. The most common reaction is unimaginable remorse, which is the worst thing to feel because you can talk to a hundred people about it and you won’t be getting any sympathy.

6. Even if you are forgiven for your actions, it will always be an unsaid presence in your relationship: In rare cases, your partner is willing to forgive you for what you did. However, even if they forgive what you did, they are not likely to forget it. Once that kind of distrust is initiated in a relationship, it is only bound to grow like a parasite in the future and make things worse.

What to do when you are unable to decide whether to cheat or not to cheat

1. Tell yourself what you would do if you were in your partner’s place: If you are confused, put yourself in your partner’s shoes and think of how you would react and think whether you would be okay with it.

2. Call a friend and ask for advice: One of the safest things to do is talk to a friend (preferably one who is relatively sane and has not been adulterous at any point in time in their lives).


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3. Pleasure yourself if you are sexually frustrated in the absence of your partner: See if that solves the issue. Because if it is a climax you are longing for, then there are more than one ways to achieve it.  

4. Re-evaluate the reasons you are still in a relationship with your partner: When you are feeling confused, think about all the reasons you are still in a relationship, and see whether you are still willing to cheat on your partner.

5. Discuss any issues that you might be having with your partner: If it is problems with your partner that is compelling you to cheat on them, try talking it out with them instead of acting on your baser instincts.  

6. End your relationship: If you think things are not working out with your partner, and you would be emotionally happier if you went ahead and got together with someone else, then end your relationship instead of poisoning it by cheating.

Suggested read: 10 crucial questions to ask before breaking up with your cheating partner

7. See if your partner agrees to an open relationship: If this is not the first time you felt like cheating on your partner, then discuss with your partner if they are willing to be in an open relationship, where you have the freedom to be with whoever you want, without the guilt.

8. Consider what you would lose and what you would gain: When in doubt, measure all the pros and cons of your situation. Think about what you would lose in your relationship, and the things you will gain by cheating on your partner.

Cheating is never an easy thing to think of. No one wants to be cheated on, but no one wants to be caught making a decision about whether to cheat or not either. Nonetheless, if you are caught in a position like this, then you must evaluate the causes and the possible course of action very carefully before you end up doing something you regret.

Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Article Name
To Cheat Or Not To Cheat? The Complete Guide To Make Up Your Mind
If you don’t know whether to cheat or not to cheat on your partner, then you can go through our guide, which could possibly lead you to a resolution.
Aishani Laha

Aishani Laha

Bibliophile. Feminist. Unreasonable optimist. I am dangerously obsessed with the English language and the stage is my second home. I still believe in fairy tales and happy endings, and more importantly, that there is nothing that good music and a cup of coffee can’t fix.