While there is no dearth of offensive sexist jokes about getting a ‘plain Jane’ so one does not have to fret and fume over where and who the f*ck is the trophy Mrs. f*cking with, there seems to be very little evidence of the same happening in reality. Men tend to pick the hot arm-candy over the plain Janes to fuel their own low self-esteem and while the situation is nowhere near better or any less insinuating and offensive to either party, it seems like the same blame can be squarely laid on the shoulders of the fairer sex too.
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Suggested read: Science confirms – Rebound relationships are healthy!
Now, now- there is nothing wrong in being attracted to someone- physically! Right? But the few enlightened souls among womenfolk will tell you that in our pursuit of what pleases the eye, we often forget to address the deeper question of what feeds the soul. For those of us who are ‘mindful,’ we do know that a ‘mind over matter’ approach works best for relationships, if they are to pass the durability test.
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So, in an attempt to deflate the ‘bewitched by beauty’ methods that women seem to be besotted with in choosing their life partners (all the more aggravated by the swipe-or-pass tricks promoted by Tinder and its kin- ahh the chiseled jaw, the washboard abs and …umm….), Science seems to be shaking its head and answering with a big, resounding NO for all women seeking out the ‘tall, dark and handsome’ heroes for themselves.
And here’s the reason:
According to a study published in Wall Street Journal, men with higher testosterone, the hormone behind manly muscles, strong jaws, prominent eyebrow ridges, facial hair and deep voices- in other words, an index of masculinity aka attractive men- had a larger share of relationship problems, were uncooperative, philandering and even non child-friendly. In another study, it was shown that ‘men with testosterone levels one standard deviation above the mean were 43% more likely to get divorced than men with normal levels, 31% more likely to leave home because of marital problems, 38% more likely to cheat on their wives, and 13% more likely to admit that they hit or hurled things at them.’
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As such, it seems in the light of wanting a healthy, long-term relationship, one must rather levy a small discount on masculinity than deal with infidelity, divorce or worse, parenting in a non-conducive environment! Journalist Vicki Larson has also recorded that women who tend to be drawn toward such gorgeous breed of ‘masculine avatars’ self-sabotage their chances of a happy, fulfilling relationship. Larson, too, quotes from the research study in WSJ, stating
“Guys who are rated as the most masculine—a billboard for a man’s good genes—tend to have more testosterone, and men with higher testosterone levels are 43 percent more likely to get divorced than men with normal levels, 31 percent more likely to split because of marital problems and 38 percent more likely to cheat.“
She goes on to add some sane advice for women:
“We’d be smarter if we sought out guys who are uglier than we are, because researchers have found that couples in which the woman is hotter than the guy are happier than if the situation is reversed.”
And I’d say the message is loud and clear, right? We should simply wake up and smell the coffee- even if it means never dreaming about Gerard Butler again! <sigh>
Although Science, could you just take a peek at the exceptions please and come back to me- Gerard Butler is just too heavy a price to pay! Just saying! 😉
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