When parents and the people in your family who have seen you grow up through the years play the role of Cupid to find your destined soul mate, it is then that you see the miracle of arranged marriage working wonders and making your life beautiful. The modern Indian youth is generally extremely speculative of the entire concept of arranged marriages, as they no longer live in the cocoon of traditional Indian culture. Their thoughts, their views and their dreams are greatly influenced by the western lifestyle, where people find it unthinkable to marry someone who you barely know.
However, the very high rate of successful arranged marriages in India bears testament to the fact that arranged marriages are not as impractical as they are thought to be by youngsters today. It is not like the girl and the boy will be forced to marry each other without being given a chance to know each other. On the contrary, they do go through a period of courtship, and their opinion is really valued by family members. There are various factors that play an important part in ensuring that these arranged marriages are successful and long lasting. In an arranged marriage the only difference is that the process that is required to understand your partner may be longer than that needed by a couple in a love marriage scenario.
What makes an arranged marriage work?
* Among some of the important points that help in making an arranged marriage work, there is the part where the couple needs to get over the pre-wedding jitters, especially since it is an arranged marriage, and the two know very little about each other.
* An arranged marriage works when the two people involved are ready to accept the challenges that this unique form of married life will throw at them. The readiness to face the whole uncertain future together strengthens the bond between the couple.
* Couples in an arranged marriage make it work by gradually accepting each other’s likes, dislikes, and interests. The partners are well aware of the fact that they will have to share their personal space with a virtual stranger, and that they have to adjust to someone relatively unknown.
* It is both the excitement and the eagerness about the person who is about to enter into your life that makes arrange marriages in India work. In order to make such a marriage work, sometimes the girl and the boy even need to change their respective manners and behaviors according to the habits and beliefs of the in-laws. This positive trait of the particular Indian boy or the girl in question, who tries their best to deal with the new family, is what makes most Indian arrange marriages successful.
* The partners in this kind of unions are more accepting of each other, and seldom complain. This may sound tough, but it is one of the key factors that makes such marriages work.
* Most happy Indian couples who have lived a long fulfilling married life will vouch for the fact that an arranged marriage will only last if you are ready to accept a life where there will be endless expectations from you, and you will have lots of responsibilities to take care of.
* As you’re brought in to live in a new household, you will surely see lots of different habits and practices, and a whole new working process and lifestyle. Moreover, your personal methods may not be approved by your in-laws and you might be corrected all the time. This, however, does not deter the couple from making it work, and it is not as bad as it might appear to an outsider.
* Often, in a family, there is that helpful sister-in-law, or the extremely friendly aunt-in-law, who is constantly eager about showing the ropes on how to win the hearts of the in-laws, to newly married bride or groom.
In successful arrange marriages, with time, the husband and wife become very friendly and understand just what to do in which circumstance. Adjustment, here starts working miracles. The partners start to have lots of frank conversations with each other, talking about their respective anxieties, and together they figure out how they could come up with solutions to any problems that they face, without offending their in-laws.
How the couple behaves, contribute towards the success of the union
Arranged marriages in India also seem to work because the newlyweds know better than to take any remarks from the partner or in laws too seriously. The newlyweds in successful arrange marriages also are cautious and clever enough not to go for the ‘tit for tat’ policy, and never to fall victim to the petty and shallow mind games of narrow-minded people in the family.
Arrange marriages also become successful because the couple can make the best of the situation at hand. If couples in successful arranged marriages are asked how they can cope with the complexities of such a married life, they will answer that the new family that is bringing in a new member into their household is equally apprehensive about how well he/she would fit in, and therefore the initial hassles at times are unavoidable, but not unsolvable. Thus, the mantra of a successful arranged married life is patience, maturity, and the ability to face matters at hand with a brave smile.
Love is the one true ingredient that actually has played a pivotal role in making arranged marriages successful in India. It is through mutual love, respect, and understanding that hurdles are overcome, and for this you needn’t fall in love with your partner at first sight. In an arranged marriage, partners gradually fall in love with each other. A husband might find it easier to fall in love with his wife, but when given some time and patience, the wife will also gladly reciprocate such feelings.
Arranged marriages in India is a world where the couples are suddenly transferred from their previous carefree lives to another where there are responsibilities, sacrifice, and commitment, but at the same time, over the years, arrange marriages have worked out just fine because at their backbone they have love, faith, security, aspirations, and a whole new set of dreams.