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Can parental involvement help in choosing your life partner?

In almost every society, children are loved, cared for, and pampered by the parents. But in India, this is taken to an altogether new level, where some parents practically try to control the lives of their kids. Whether or not parental involvement is required for choosing your life partner has been a matter of debate since long. This is typically what happens in an arranged marriage setting.

Parents rule the roost

In a country like India, where familial values and traditions hold prime importance, parents play an important role in shaping the future of their kids. Right from their childhood, children are taught into believing that the word of their parents should always reign supreme, and a special place in hell is reserved for those who disobey their parents. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not obsolete or hackneyed, or even stupid to let parents play an influential part in your life, but to let parents decide your entire life is just not acceptable.

mother with her son

These days, with the rising number of failed marriages and an increasing divorce rate, parents have assumed their moral responsibility to find a suitable partner for their children. While parental role in finding a life partner for their children is justified to some extent, and can be called as a culmination of their love for them, making it a rule and an obsession is highly dangerous, and can be harmful for both parents and the child.

You should make the choice of your partner

The choice of your partner, I believe, should be entirely your decision, based on some valuable inputs provided by your parents. It is important that you choose someone you want to spend your life with, and introduce him/her to your parents. If the parents dislike your partner, you shouldn’t disregard their opinions right away. You should try to discuss the situation with them and understand their perspective.

father with his son

If you think their concerns are logical, and you and your partner need to work on them, then you should definitely try to tackle them along with your partner. But if their issues are illogical, related to caste, color, looks, creed, etc., then you should try to make them understand the futility of such trivial matters. You should understand that they are bound by a certain set of beliefs that might seem outrageously traditional and regressive in nature, and it would take them quite some time to break out of them.

You should remember that parents have their own set of rules, ideas, and ideology that they follow, to which they sometimes adhere to blindly. Some parents evolve and grow with time, while others like to bask in the past glory of traditional and orthodox ideals. In fact every generation has a certain set of rules and ideas that they adhere to, but that’s beside the point. The point is that you need to find out whether it is actually possible for you to change the entire belief system of your parents, if it tries to ruin your romantic life. If you think your relationship is worth the effort and the consequences of it, then you should definitely go ahead with this arduous task.  But, whatever it is, you should remain true to your loved one, and let them know if it would be possible for you be with him/her through thick and thin, which includes disagreements with your parents.

Nishtha Sood

Nishtha Sood

Nishtha is a highly opinionated female, who is extremely vociferous about her beliefs. She likes to read, write and dance, in that order. She loves to talk about politics, sports and relationships, and has lofty revolutionary ideas in her mind, waiting to be materialized. She loves Tarantino's dark humor and Kafkaesque endings, but would like a fairy tale relationship for herself. When she is not busy making plans to change the world or exploring her new-found love for selfies, she likes to eat ( hog would be a better word!).