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13 questions the person you’re going to marry should be able to answer honestly

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory,” said Friedrich Nietzsche.

That is a good question for anyone to ask themselves before getting married, and can prevent many a remorseful thought later! Many couples enter marriage riding high on a cloud of love and passion, but to be honest, they can only last you through the honeymoon phase. But marriage is much more than that, it’s a lifelong journey where the couple is expected to weather many storms and stand by each other’s side while doing so. To ensure the success of a marriage, it is essential to consider how both of you will do individually and as a couple in the various situations that life throws at you. To make things simple, we’ve put together a questionnaire of 12 questions for the person you are going to marry. Honest responses will give you an idea of general scope of things to come.

1. Why did you choose to fall in love with me in the first place? 

couple talking

Image source: Shutterstock

The all important question, it’s also a difficult one to answer. There are a number of reasons they might have fallen in love with you, but what draws them to you says many things about their personality and their expectations from you as a life partner.

2. Why do you love me now? 

couple sitting on a bench

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

The reason they fell in love with you was one that applied in the initial stages of the relationship and probably still does, but not all by itself. As they come to know more about you, there are bound to be other reasons for them to be attracted and attached to you. They need to be able to express it to you.

Suggested read: You should NOT do these 10 things at the start of a relationship!

3. Will you always try to keep the spark alive? 

couple talking

Image source: Shutterstock

It’s a fact of life that everything does and should change, and this applies to how people feel about each other in the course of their marriage. The initial spark of the honeymoon phase will soon drown in familiarity and the monotony of daily life, and this boredom can lead to other problems. The couple needs to make a special effort to keep the spark alive.

Suggested read: Do these 7 things on your honeymoon and enjoy a strong and stable marriage!

4. Do you think we can manage without regular conversation and just comfortable silence? 

Being in a relationship will mean lots of wordless, silent times spent together, which is perfectly normal and even healthy. Couples need to accept this time of silence as such and just be comfortable about it rather than finding a need to desperately fill empty moments.

5. How do you feel about having children of our own? 

couple talking3

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

The priority of having children has changed drastically through the years, with many couples even opting to go without. This is a deal-breaker for some, and needs to be asked and answered honestly. People do change their minds sometimes, but something as basic as this needs to be addressed in the beginning.

Suggested read: Are you in a healthy relationship? Find out here…

6. How should we act to tide over the rough spots in our marriage? 

Life is not all roses, and it is inevitable that you’ll face tough times that can involve any aspect of your life. These are crucial times that will test your strength as a couple. Will they clam up and deal with it individually or work together as a team?

7. Will you always be honest with me? 

couple talking

Image source: Shutterstock

A marriage is a relationship that is based equally on love and trust; one cannot exist without the other. This is the most intimate relationship in your life and one that will work only on a foundation of trust and faith. Remember, this person is going to share your life and be with you till the end; he or she needs to be completely transparent and honest with you, and vice versa.

Suggested read: The top 10 reasons why married couples fight are…

8. Will you trust me with your money? 

couple talking3

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

As you share your bed and board with another person, you’re going to be spending for the family together. There is no space for mine and yours in such a relationship; only ours. Money is a tricky thing to handle, and settling both of your financial affairs in advance is the safest thing to do.

9. Will you trust me to be good to your parents? 

This goes either way; especially in a culture where marriages happen between two families rather than just two individuals, a synergy between everyone is essential to make the marriage work and move smoothly. It is truly a beautiful thing when your partner can trust you to be good to their parents and vice versa.

10. Do you promise to keep our marriage sacred above everything else? 

talking outside the bedroom

Image source: Shutterstock

Life is full of worries and stress, and at any point in time, there are bound to be all sorts of tensions eating away at your peace of mind. But all said and done, you should be convinced that your marriage is your highest priority and everything else comes after it, no matter how it may seem at the moment.

Suggested read: With these sweet everyday gestures, keep the romance alive!

11. Can you promise to grow together and not grow away from each other as we evolve and change through the years? 

couple watching a sunset

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

People change and the person you married is not going to be that very same person in 10 years, even though the basic nature will not change. Through the years, a person undergoes change constantly, along with their world views and general outlook on life. But what is important is that you have to stick together through it all, and take each other’s changing nature into consideration.

12. Is there anything at all from your past that could have an impact on our future together? 

couple talking2

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

You can run from the past, but you can’t hide from it. It’s always better to face and accept whatever happened then rather than bury it only to have it explode in your face one day. Once you hitch your wagon to another person’s, whatever impacts your life affects hers too and vice versa.

Suggested read: Obvious signs that he wants to get intimate with you tonight

13. If you took out physical intimacy, what do you think will be left in our relationship?

As much as physical intimacy is important for a healthy marital relationship, it shouldn’t be the only thing that keeps two people together. There should be a genuine warmth, affection, and emotional intimacy with your life partner. After all, this emotional intimacy is what carries your relationship through the years.

For a healthy marriage, it’s best to take some time and get honest answers from the person you’re going to marry. Marriage is a constant journey of making adjustments and learning to love one another. The stronger the base, the easier the journey becomes and the more successful it’ll be.

Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Article Name
13 questions the person you're going to marry should answer
Deciding to get married is big, and can even be confusing. Here's a list of questions the person you are going to marry should be able to answer honestly.
Fabida Abdulla

Fabida Abdulla

Fabida is an erstwhile Software Engineer and current Freelance Writer cum stay-at-home mom to her boisterous 6-year-old. In between all the writing, baking, nagging, reading, and cuddling, she manages to blog a bit about her crazy life at Shocks and Shoes. []