It is a tough choice. And you do NOT choose love.
You ride on a giant wave of purposive living and move forward. Leaving love behind.
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But as the cold winds of unfamiliarity beat against your rhythm, you drown in the wake of newness. You wake up, struggling to swim against the current- hoping that this tide you chose would retreat just as fast as it washed over you and swallowed you whole. But that does NOT happen.
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These wild waves continue to toss and turn, driven by the certitude of your choice, imploring you to swim. Day and night, night and day, they create a fire of burnout in you, so wild, that it continues to consume you, fed by the water all around. And all you must do, to not be burnt or drowned whole is swim.
Swim- as fast as you can, for as long as you can. Even when you are too exhausted to breathe.
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And just like that, when the weariness sinks into your bones and your spirit is heavy from the weight of wetness, you turn to look at the shore. The place where your love is, pinned right where you left her, smiling a sad smile and praying to the Gods to sprinkle light on your journeys forward.
You wish to turn back, in the moment, to swim against the current and reach home in her arms but the waves pull you back. You turn your cheek again and continue to fight the battle you picked.
On your way, you meet other souls- unfamiliar faces, eyes and smiles that fill certain cracks in you- and you gain some strength from human connection to keep moving. For a while. For some while.
The cycle continues. You continue to swim and you continue to look longingly at the shore, always allowing your own choice to win- always choosing to swim ahead.
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But when you reach the place where the sea melts into the sky, you turn back once more, your eyes scanning the shore to meet the eyes that are still set on you, and always shall be, that’s when you know leaving love behind is not your way forward.
And you turn back, fueled by your weariness, unafraid to fight the stubborn waves, because you are making your way HOME!
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