Long-distance relationships have never been so commonplace. We go to college, we travel, we take up jobs in different cities and countries. We fall in love with people we meet, then we move apart.
Trading love letters, waiting torturous hours for the phone to ring, communicating across oceans via all sorts of tactics, and flying to see each other after a lambi judaai. Been there, done that. We have braved it all.
Here are 10 things you’ll understand if you are in a long-distance relationship:
1. Meet your new BFFs – Skype, Google Hangouts, FaceTime, WeChat, Viber, and more
If only kabootars (pigeons) had passports. Doing a Maine Pyar Kiya with your boyfriend who is saat samundar paar is not just expensive, but a miserable idea at that. But fikar not – video-calling zindabad!
You are “officially” dating your laptop! Your life now revolves around your daily Skype or Hangout session. You put in more effort to look good for an evening call much more than you ever would to dress for work. Your selfies are now screenshots of your video chats. Love ke liye kuch bhi karega, no?
2. You eat, breathe, and sleep in front of the computer
You do not want to miss a single conversation, a single update from being away for a minute. It is the closest you can get to the feeling of being with each other, although you are miles apart. Falling asleep on Skype in between calls is an experience only you know how to cherish. Woe is you, who has to deal with such long-distance relationship problems!
3. You lose your marbles when the Internet gives up on you
Poor wi-fi, pathetic network reception, and slower-than-snail Internet are your mortal enemies. You go bonkers when you are cut off from the net, even if it’s just for a brief spell. There’s so much to talk about that can’t wait for a few minutes, let alone the next day!
4. ISD calling
You are always tight on money because so much of it is spent on phone bills, top-ups, and recharges. By the end of the month, you always discover that you had carelessly burnt a crater in your pocket. You immediately begin PlayStore hunting, looking for apps that allow free calling and messaging.
5. A tale of two time zones
Your internal clock is permanently split between two sides of the globe. You are constantly struggling to calculate what time it is in that godforsaken part of the world that has taken away your love. Making timings match makes you go nuts because the sun is there where the moon is here. Days feel like nights, nights feel like days. Ugh!
6. Planning holidays together
Whoever said “distance makes the heart grow fonder” knows zilch about the heartaches of being in a long-distance relationship. The dukh of being away from your love, who is located light years away, is inexplicable. You desperately wait and plan for a long weekend or coinciding holiday to arrive, when you can finally be together.
Your weekends are booked for traveling to spend time with your partner. Nothing can bargain with that. Just get here already; I don’t want to deal with these long-distance relationship problems! whispers your subconscious.
7. And when it’s time to meet…excitement is an understatement
Airports, bus stops, and railway stations are the places that make you the happiest. You imprudently splurge on tickets to see your heart’s desire via flight, train, or bus. For you, looking out of the plane window is either the best or the worst view in the world. Either way, you’re just itching to get off the damn vehicle and get into the arms of your beloved. When those strong arms scoop you up in their warm embrace, all those long-distance relationship problems start to melt away, as if they aren’t even there!
8. 10 missed calls and they don’t answer. You go hopping mad!
You are driven crazy wallowing in insecurities as every single friend of your partner – especially a female friend – becomes a threat. You get paranoid seeing them online at odd hours, you pry on their “last seen” status on WhatsApp. “He’s not picking up my calls. Who could he be with right now?” Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned or battling long-distance relationship problems!
9. The Dhishum Dhishum
When your friends complain about their tiffs, you get a bit jealous – “I wish I could be upset about my boyfriend leaving the toilet seat up all the time.” The nightmare begins when you start having virtual fistfights. The “is it worth it?” argument keeps coming up. These exhausting arguments eventually get to one or both of you, and you wonder if it’s worth all the effort.
10. Lastly, you definitely know you are in a long-distance relationship when…
Your refrigerator is stocked with comfort food like chocolates and ice cream. You need it badly after a fight over the phone when you can’t kiss and make up in person.
You get flustered about immigration laws. And secretly think there should be a human rights clause for people in love.
You have perfected the art of letter writing. You have a treasure trove of their letters, photos, and other things you turn to for solace.
Both of your families are petrified you’re going to move away forever. But what you really want is an uber-cool “bicontinental” lifestyle.
More than anything else, if you had a choice, you wouldn’t change a thing about this insane situation you’ve gotten yourself into. So much of your future may be uncertain, but there’s one thing that’s just, well, non-negotiable. No matter how difficult it is to be apart right now, you’ll have so much more time together. Someday.
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