As much as I love Bollywood and ‘almost’ everything that comes with it, I’ve gotta blame Bollywood for most of the damage in this realm. So, for the first and last time, let me hammer this home:
LOVE is not FRIENDSHIP.
Yes, you read that right. Forget what Rahul taught you in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. Nothing could be as far removed from reality as the crap that movie taught us. So, the next time you’re following what the movie taught and pop up that ‘friendship band’ SRK-style, forget that you’d be marrying the hot chick, let alone another (if something happens to this one)! Duh! :/
So, if you do not want to be touted as the ‘best buddy ever,’ or worse, ‘best brother ever’ by the gal you have the hots for, remember friendship is not the ticket that shall get you into her heart or her pants!! Here are some much-needed tips you should follow to not only to escape the friend zone but also undo the effects the mush Bolly-flicks have had on your manly brains:
1. Be clear from the beginning
Do not be a dork, a dweeb, a dwork … whatever name suits you! If you think that acting out on the ‘be-her-best-buddy-for-six-months’ card is going to win the game, you’ll only be surprised when someone with an ace-plan-of-direct-approach shall swoop her away in front of your (bespectacled?) eyes! So, it’s time you got out there and let her know that you’re not looking at her as just another friend. Of course, you don’t have to freak her out by inappropriate remarks or worse, saying the L-word in the first meeting, but there are still enough ways to let the girl know you notice her in a more-than-friendly way!
2. Don’t be ‘just friends’
If you play the ‘nice’ guy who is willing to pick her laundry, chauffeur her around, is available 24×7 or pretty much helps her sort out all her life problems, personal or professional, chances are she’ll come running to cry on your shoulder when that incredibly hot hunk on the block breaks her heart! Why, you ask? Coz hello! She sees you as a ‘friend.’ So, stop being the ‘friend’ to her and send out signals that you’re interested in more! If you are the guy lurking around the corner waiting for the perfect time to throw the ‘friendship’ garb away, there is no reason she will single out someone else man enough to be the ‘Tom Cruise’ of her life! 😉
3. Treat her like a ‘woman,’ not just ‘a friend’
If you like her, treat her as an ‘exclusive.’ Differentiate the treatment you extend towards her and her other ‘girl’ friends. Be chivalrous to all the ladies in the house, but make it blatant that you do not just notice a ‘buddy’ in the little black dress, sitting across the table from you! Eye her, throw in furtive glances (maybe get caught a few times too), pay her a few compliments (sure, steam ’em up, albeit appropriately!) and watch her reaction. If she turns red and giggles, then….
4. Fuel the flirting
Now that the road is clear and you have perhaps gotten a green signal (you never know it might be the vodka too! :P), forge ahead full-throttle and fuel the flirting. Flare up some fiery fun with flirtation-ship and leave the ‘friend-zone’ behind for good! Flirting is fun and surely sends out clear indications of what you ‘want’ without being obvious. Think about roaming the streets with a sign hanging around your neck that reads ‘<insert her name>’ while all you do in front of her is nod and smile! That sign you carry around might as well read ‘Yours, Loser’ at the end then, eh?
5. Hold her gaze to hold her
Yes, look into her eyes, often. Hold that gaze. Women love that bit. It is romantic, it is manly and ohh, it is so-smoldering-hot when it is coming from someone who is a hunk of freaky delight! So, yes, go ahead and catch her there. Shahrukh got this one right, folks! And if you do this as well and she does not turn away, looks down and then looks back at you again in less than forty seconds, Bam!! That’s THE green flag! J
6. Break the ‘physical’ barrier
Take her hand whilst opening the door, lead her to her seat whilst pulling the chair, tuck away that playful lock of hair behind her ear, throw in quick nudges, hugs and yes, don’t forget the tickling sessions! Let the chemistry boil over and paint your lives red! Be respectful at all times though, and make sure you do not push this one to an extreme and be tagged the ‘sleazeball.’
7. Use ‘common’ friends
If you both have common friends who think you two would make a good couple, use them wisely. Ask them to gently probe her feelings on the matter, throw in subtle hints/jokes about the two of you, and set the stage for you to arrive on, with a bang (and maybe a bouquet of red roses too!) 😉
8. Do not be too chicken to ask her out
Yes, do this! The worst that’ll happen is you’d be smacked down. But you’d know – to be (Prince Charming) or not to be! You would not be in the doldrums like poor Hamlet. So, go ahead and pop the question. An invitation for drinks or a movie is not too much of a biggie. Just remember to keep it ‘non-friendly’ and well, the rest, as they say, ‘Fortune favors the brave.’ So, good luck my lad!
9. Stick your leg through the door to the dreaded ‘zone’
This one is perhaps the hardest one to wrap your heart around. Make sure you’ve made your intentions very clear from beginning. If all her gestures are constantly pushing you through the door into the ‘friend-zone,’ stick your leg through the entry and stop. Turn around and be willing to walk away. Unrequited feelings are the worst kind and if all she sees you as is a ‘true friend,’ don’t settle for being the consolation prize, when you wanted to be the trophy. Yes, you may opt to selflessly bear the pain and be her ‘friend’ all through until you can move on … but it is a grenade that can burst anytime. ANYTIME. Decide carefully.
So, there it is. Our expert tips on how to escape the friend zone by your ‘special lady’ ever! J