Hi folks! Hope you had a great weekend with beautiful people around you and plenty of booze to keep you warm! Everyone gets drunk at one point or the other, right? But when fairytale princesses get sloshed and legless (sorry Ariel!), things make it to the front covers of New Love Times! While these girls indulged in their drinks, last evening at the pub, we humored ourselves with their conversations! Here’s an abridged version of it!  

Image source: totalsororitymove

Cinderella: “Told fairy f*cking godmother that I was going to a night out with my friends and the old bag tells me that she will bibbity-bobbity-boo me if I am not home by 12! I mean, wtf!”

Snow White: “Well, you at least have a personal stylist, though she looks like a hog herself! The only beauty thing that I don’t have to worry about is spending on fairness products!”

Belle walks into the pub and lashes out at Sleeping Beauty: “Were you drunk when you sent me his Tinder link? F*ck Photoshop. He looks like a freaking ‘beast’! I need a drink. Now!”

Cinderella: “Aurora passed out on her first Martini! As always!”

Snow White: “You at least had a fully grown man, with fully grown man parts, you selfish b*tch!”

Belle: “Dwarfs have dwarf pee-pees, you mean?!”

Snow White: “Very funny! You don’t understand. I haven’t done it in so long!”

Cinderella: “It’s not healthy to not have sex for… however long it’s been…”

Snow White: “Trust me… I am not doing it on purpose!”

Belle “I don’t have any clue if this is true, but I read it online about this girl who hadn’t done it in so long that her vagina closed up!”

*All the women scream!*

Snow White: “What?!!! Get out of here!”

*After another round of martinis with a twist*

Cinderella: “Why did I EVER think these stilettos were a bright idea? Barefoot it is!”

Ariel walks into the lounge after her fourth tequila shot!

Ariel: “Now Eric thinks I drink like a fish. Dumped him, duh!”

Snow white: “He is right on the fish part at least!” 😉

Ariel: “FTW! He wants me to change everything about myself, that control freak. I left my parents for him, also my friends and he is still not satisfied. That a**h*le!

---

Suggested read: 15 struggles all women with a resting angel face have

---

***

Cinderella: “I just bought two drinks for all of us in case it gets too packed later! You never know when I will be whisked away on the dance floor!”

Belle: “As if we will be waiting here for you and not canoodling with someone hotter on the dance floor ourselves!”

***

Cinderella: “Where the hell’s my phone? Now how will I know if it’s midnight?!!”

Belle: “In your hand!”

Cinderella: “Oops!”

Ariel: “The women’s bathroom line was so long. Seems like everyone wants to pee at the same time! I just entered the men’s. They are your suitors Cindy. Hope they don’t mind!”

Snow White: “IDK but that bar top is calling my name, b*tches! I gotta get up there and flaunt my moves like Jagger!”

*After a round of gin*

Snow White: “So you know I am sitting there with barbeque sauce all over my t*ts!”

Belle: “What?!”

Snow White: “Yeah! I wouldn’t be telling you if I were sober. I love you Belle, you are my best friend.”

Belle: “No, I love you more.”

Snow White: “No, I do!”

*After another round*

Ariel: “You know what, I like the smell of my own farts!”

Belle: “Me too!”

Snow White: “Jeez, I thought, I was the only one who did that!”

***

Ariel: “I think I should text Eric! I mean, I know he is missing me.”

Cinderella: “Girls, girls, cute guy alert! Right there ‘handling’ Sleeping b*tch Beauty!”

Belle to the creepy guy: “Hi there! I am normal, I swear. Want my number?”

Snow White: “I am the only one who is going to die alone without ever having SEX again!”

*After like… 10 maybe 12… rounds*

Cinderella: “Do you ever just like think about like…”

Belle: “…Yeah, like totally.”

Snow White: “Me too!”

And they happily moved on to the after… party! 😉         

Featured image source: totalsororitymove