We’ve all been there – dating the overtly romantic guy, the crazed clingy girl or worse, the desperate doofus. And we have blamed the unfulfilling and exhausting terrible experiences on the tricky game of ‘dating.’ If the game has been rubbing you the wrong way too and you find yourself constantly complaining about how ‘hard’ it is to date and find a ‘good’ date at that, there are chances that you are making some mistakes that have landed you into this abyss.
Here are NLT-recommended ways to help you escape the dating rut this year and smile your way to meeting ‘the one’:
1. Get off the on-again-off-again train
If you are still sticking to that one person who you inevitably call/text at 2 a.m. because you’ve had a bad day at work, then it’s about time you snipped off the connection. Stop leaning onto the on-again-off-again crutch. It renders you more disabled than you feel! Not only does it eat away at your valuable time and energy but also sucks you into that everlasting feeling of being emotionally unavailable for a new potential date. This is far worse than having ‘no one’ in your life. So, the next time your friends set you up with a guy they think is ‘perfect’ for you, rip off the band aid from that sore past and trot in the direction of ‘future’ freely.
2. Give yourself ‘Me-time’ in between dates
With too many options bombarding you from all dating channels available, you might experience ‘dating fatigue.’ So while you would be hopping from one date to another, feeling exhausted and perhaps irritable (coz the last date was horrible, or else why’d you be on this one!), it shall be difficult to ‘date’ with an open mind. Only someone truly magical can snap you out of your ‘brain-dead’ zone and we all know how hard that is to come by. So, seems like you’d have to ‘prep up’ pretty much on your own and the answer to how is – ME time. Give yourself a night/sufficient breather to get over the dating fatigue.
3. Expand that criterion check-list
If you have a rigid list of criteria for your dream date, chances are you might never get to check off all the boxes on that criterion-list. Therefore, while it is advisable to know what your absolutely essential requirements and the complete ‘off-limits’ traits are, it is good sense to be ‘flexible’ on the other requisites. Getting around this stumbling block is quite a challenging task for many because of pre-conceived and mostly, inflexible standards of expectations! Once you freeze the non-negotiables and expand the list of the negotiables, you shall see that the world becomes a wider playground for your ‘dating game.’
4. Own your dating baggage and dump it at the gate
If you are one among those who say ‘dating is difficult,’ ‘all the good ones are taken,’ ‘there are no great girls/guys out there,’ or worse, ‘it’s a fricking mad-house,’ then it could be that you are your own biggest enemy. The ‘woe-is-me’ attitude hardly helps dating and more often than not, bad dates tend to puncture your personal confidence. It is time you took a step back from the dating brouhaha to see if you were running from one date to another with the baggage you’ve been carrying since date 1. The answer shall be a resounding ‘Yes,’ and that implies that ‘YOU’ are making the dating scene harder than it has to be. So, stop carrying past experiences as a parameter against which all future dates could be gauged. There is no reason why the way you put yourself out there with the jerk from date 26 should make you come across as an uptight and snooty prude in front of this absolutely charming guy you are sitting across from, now. Remember to be yourself and you shall be good.
5. Go real to get the ‘REAL’
While I have nothing against online dating, I somehow dig ‘real.’ Of course, it has to do with the statistics – only 23% people have had success finding a partner online. That means a whopping 77% haven’t had any luck with the ‘virtual.’ So, if you belong to the 77%, it is time to get ‘real.’ Go out and get real to get the ‘REAL’ deal.
6. Be open to meeting someone anywhere
Contrary to what you think, it is perfectly acceptable to approach someone in the subway or on the bus. The worst that could happen would be being smacked down, albeit with a smile and a hint of being flattered at your ‘approach.’ The best could be that they reciprocate. Win-win.
7. Change the rusty rules of your game
Do not always do the dinner/movie/drinks date. Take time off to do things that you both enjoy or are doing for the first time. Try new things, experiment, break the old rules, and make some new ones. You are the one in charge – so you can up your dating game. Go out and play it right, or wrong or in a new way! 😉
Happy Dating, folks! J
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