So you’ve been married for a while now, you think you’re happy and contented in the relationship. But there’s one question that’s been nagging you no end, and you’re no closer to figuring out than when you first got married – how to have a happy marriage. You’ve read countless articles online, numerous self-help books, but you’re no closer to figuring it out. Worry no more, for a study seems to have the answer to your question: how to have a happy marriage?
By getting angry!
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A study out of Florida State University has drawn this conclusion. The study, which was presented at the American Psychological Association in Orlando, had researchers analyze the complex dynamics of why some relationships last while others fail.
In his study, lead researcher James McNulty found that sometimes the ‘short-term discomfort of an angry but honest conversation’ can be hugely beneficial for the relationship in the long run. This, in particular, holds good among ‘disagreeable’ spouses who may take advantage of their partner’s good nature and their willingness to forgive and forget.
In a statement, McNulty said,
“Believing a partner is forgiving leads agreeable people to be less likely to offend that partner and disagreeable people to be more likely to offend that partner.”
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He also added that expressing anger serves as an important indicator that such offending behavior is unacceptable. He further said,
“This work suggests people need to be flexible in how they address the problems that will inevitably arise over the course of their relationships. There is no ‘magic bullet,’ no single way to think or behave in a relationship. The consequences of each decision we make in our relationships depends on the circumstances that surround that decision.”
James McNulty admits that the findings of this study counter the recent trend of ‘positive psychology,’ where couples are taught that optimism, kindness, forgiveness, and positive thinking could help heal a broken relationship after a serious transgression.
So now you know what to do to have a happy marriage. Get angry, but for the right reasons, and have honest and open communication that resolves major issues.
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