If you randomly stop a man in the street and ask him about how to make a woman happy, he’s likely to fumble and mumble and blabber incoherently about diamonds and flowers. But if you ask a woman about ways to make a man happy, you’re much more likely to get short, straightforward answers, most of which center around wearing ‘something sexy’ or cooking your way to his heart. But if that were true, all the Victoria’s Secret models and restaurant chefs would have super-happy husbands, but we know it doesn’t work like that! So coming to real people like you and me, how do you know if you have a happy husband? Let’s find out!
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Research shows that men are more likely than women to end relationships all of a sudden, while their spouses are left wondering what went wrong where. One can hear several stories of dads who went to the store to get some milk and never came back. Till the day they disappear, their spouses don’t have any clue that they were unhappy in their marriages; probably because they didn’t really talk about it.
So why don’t men talk about their feelings, especially when the consequences of not talking are as dire as abandoning their families? A study conducted by Dr. Amanda Rose from the University of Missouri discovered that this behavior is evident right from childhood, with boys preferring not to talk about their feelings as much as girls. One reason is that a man’s basic utilitarian nature considers talking about feelings/problems as useless and unproductive. Another reason is that the part of the brain related to speech and language is more developed in women, making them naturally articulate and, let’s say, talkative.
Suggested read: 10 sure signs to check if you have a happy wife
Okay, so enough about all the science-y stuff. The fact remains that since men don’t really express themselves very well, their partners may not even know how they’re feeling about the relationship and if they’re really happy. Men often complain that women expect them to be mind readers, but the truth is that women are the ones who need to hone their mind reading skills! Of course, as women, we have the superpower of Women’s Intuition but it wouldn’t hurt to have some solid advice from good friends too!
So if you’d like to keep your marriage strong and stable, check out these ten signs that tell you if you have a happy husband.
10 signs to check if you have a happy husband
1. He stands up for you in front of his family
According to the scriptures, a married man is expected to ‘leave’ his birth family and ‘cleave unto’ his wife, indicating that the marriage is now his primary relationship. However, we know well enough that many men didn’t seem to get this memo! However, if your husband takes your side in front of his family, know that you are doing something right! Your man is very happy in his relationship with you and he’s willing to do anything to honor it, even if it involves having to stand up to his extended family.
2. He lets go of everything when you really need him
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Men are notorious for being ‘unavailable’ when they’re really needed, but that is just an excuse for not being interested. When a man is sincerely devoted to his wife, he will treat her as a priority and find a way to help her. When you see your man dropping plans he made with his friends to help you through a tough time, you can be sure he’s happy with you and values your marriage together. Another sign is that you are the first person he informs about any development in his life, however big or small.
3. He does his share of household chores
You must be wondering how we have ‘happy husbands’ and ‘household duties’ in the same sentence! We’re all familiar with the image of the husband relaxing on the couch while wifey dear bangs pots and pans in the kitchen. So how does a husband doing chores translate into his happiness? A husband who cares about his wife’s happiness tries to do everything he can to lighten the load and pull his weight in the relationship. And what kinds of husbands are those? The happy ones, of course!
4. He gives you genuine compliments
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In most marriages, the compliments begin fading soon after the last honeymoon picture has been posted on Facebook. While it’s not easy for anyone to maintain the courtship level of compliments (“Your nose is so pretty, I could stare at it forever”), a healthy marriage needs some to and fro of compliments. A husband who’s happy with his wife notices little things about her and compliments her too, even if it’s in his own style. So if your husband says that the ‘green dress with the weird print’ looks good on you, just smile and thank him!
5. He remembers the stuff you like
Remember how we mentioned at the beginning of this article how men are clueless about what makes women happy? Well, this doesn’t apply to happy husbands! A husband who sincerely loves his wife is also aware of what she likes and doesn’t like. You know this when you see him getting takeaway by specifying no onions because you don’t like them. When he takes the trouble of DVRing your favorite show which you’re missing because of a meeting, you can be assured – that’s the sign of a man who’s head over heels in love with you!
Suggested read: How can I make my husband happy? Here’s how in 10 easy steps
6. He enjoys physical affection with you
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After reading the sentence above, you’re probably thinking, ‘D-uh, he’s a man! Of course he’s good for all things physical!’ Well, no argument there, we agree with you. But when we’re talking about a long term relationship like a marriage, physical intimacy goes beyond the obvious lovemaking. He loves giving you a peck on the cheek or the forehead, a quick squeeze or strokes your hair lazily – all these are powerful indicators that he’s really happy being with you and you are a very important part of his life.
7. He respects your opinion
A good husband knows better than to treat his wife like a little child who doesn’t know what’s good for her or her family. When your husband consults your opinion and discusses important matters with you, it means that he values what you say and how you feel. He wouldn’t let ego come in the way of following your advice and he wouldn’t let jealousy get in the way of helping you achieve your dreams. This also means that he’ll do his best to stay in your good books and not do anything that’ll anger or bother you.
8. He keeps up the communication
There are men who claim that they’d be very happy if their wives didn’t talk and left them alone. These men are not the ones we’re talking about today. If your man initiates conversation with you, you know that he enjoys talking to you. A good husband will also notice if his wife is unusually quiet, and rather than pleasing him, this fact will likely worry him. Husbands in happy relationships also keep up the communication even when they’re away from home, often calling or chatting via the internet.
9. He shares his dreams and fears
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We’ve already mentioned how happy husbands enjoy conversations with their wives, but if he truly opens up and talks about his dreams and fears, you know he trusts you enough to be vulnerable with you. He shares his dreams because he knows you’ll support him, and he shares his fears because he knows you’ll understand. He thinks of the two of you as a single unit and if this isn’t the sign of a happy husband in a loving marriage, we don’t know what is!
10. You’re happy
Wait, isn’t this an article about happy husbands? Yes, it is and the biggest sign of a happy husband is a happy wife! And we’re not just saying, we have proof – a Rutgers study found that the happier the wife is in the marriage, the happier the husband is – regardless of how he feels about the relationship on the whole. Another study by the American Psychological Association found that an increase in wives’ positivity and happiness increased marital satisfaction for the couple. So happy husband, happy life, happy wife!
“Happiness depends upon ourselves,” said Aristotle and he had a point. Happiness is a personal choice and anyone can choose to be happy or miserable given their life’s circumstances. But when you’re in an intimate long term relationship like marriage, it’s inevitable that both spouses’ happiness will have something to do with each other. The American Psychological Association’s journal, Developmental Psychology, published a study that clearly proves that a husband’s and wife’s happiness is directly linked to each other. So, what does all this tell us? Just this basic fact: if you want a happy marriage with a happy husband, you know what to do – be happy yourself!
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