Emotional abuse is experienced by people at different points in their lives; at the hands of parents, lover, husbands/wives, friends etc. No matter who is the source of emotional abuse in your life, the consequences of the manipulation and ill-treatment can be shattering. Detecting emotional abuse is tricky. Unlike physical abuse, there are no bodily marks that serve as an obvious warning signal. But of you take this test, you can find out if you are being emotionally abused.
Suggested read: Everything You Need To Know About Emotional Abuse
Am I being emotionally abused?
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Before we get to the test, let us first define emotional abuse. HealthyPlace defines it by calling it an act that involves confinement, verbal assault, embarrassment, degradation, intimidation and sense of fear, and/or any treatment that ultimately reduces the sense of self-worth, self-esteem and identity of the person who is subjected to the said treatment.
Emotional abuse can be called a form of psychological abuse that may or may not involve verbal aggression.
When a person is subjected to emotional abuse, he or she undergoes some/many personality changes. They are likely to become withdrawn from real life, they may stop socializing, have a low self-esteem, and/or become depressed and anxious.
When emotional abuse is prolonged, it can even cause the abused to become suicidal. Hence, detecting emotional abuse and then putting an end to it, is crucial.
The cycle of emotional abuse
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Just like every other form of abuse, emotional abuse too is cyclical. It begins with the partner trying to show domination over the other partner. And to this end, he or she starts exercising control over the other. Once this starts, the emotional abuser feels guilty, not because he or she is being dominating or abusive, but because the consequences of their actions. So to not take responsibility of what has happened, the abuser makes excuses. He or she behaves as if everything is normal and nothing ever happened. They are also likely to turn on their most charming performance so that the abused partner starts thinking that the abuser is genuinely apologetic, which is furthest one can be from the truth. While the abused feels this way, the abuser is having fantasies about how to emotionally abuse him or her more harshly.
If you are still asking yourself, “am I being emotionally abused”, then take the following test. Answer the questions in yes or no. We urge you to be absolutely honest with your answers as emotional abuse is something that can have drastic effects on your life if not done something about. And to deal with it effectively, you need to first be sure if you are being abused.
Am I being emotionally abused? Take this emotional abuse test to find out
- Are you, most of the time, afraid of your partner?
- Do you usually avoid talking about a few things with your partner because you think they will get angry?
- Does your partner make you feel worthless?
- Do you think you are not doing enough to make your partner happy?
- Have you started believing that you are deserving of the hurt and mistreatment that your partner subjects you to?
- Do you wonder if you are crazy?
- Do you feel helpless? Do you feel numb, emotionally?
- Does your partner humiliate you?
- Does your partner yell at you?
- Does your partner make you feel like you are stupid?
- Is your partner critical of everything you do?
- Does your partner put you down in public?
- Does your partner make fun of your accomplishments?
- Does your partner not take your “No” for an answer?
- Does your partner treat you like you were his or her property?
- Does your partner constantly blame you for everything?
- Does your partner belittle you in front of your family and friends?
- Does your partner have a horrible temper which is unpredictable and usually directed at you?
- Has your partner ever threatened to kill you or kill themselves?
- Does your partner threaten you that he or she will take your kids away?
- Does your partner force you for sex?
- Does your partner use sex as a weapon?
- Does your partner hold back sex as punishment?
- Is your partner excessively jealous of you?
- Is your partner over-protective of you?
- Is your partner possessive?
- Does your partner stop you from meeting your family and friends?
- Does your partner limit your access to money?
- Does your partner limit your access to the phone?
- Does your partner limit your access to the car?
- Is your partner a control freak?
- Does your partner constantly check on you?
If you said “yes” to most/all of the questions on this test, then there is a high possibility that you are being emotionally abused.
Just in case you are still not clear about this, let us help you with a few signs of emotional abuse that will make it clear to you that whether or not you are in an emotionally abusive relationship.
Signs of emotional abuse
1. Your partner is discouraging and not supportive at all
If you cannot share your dreams and plans with this person for fear ridicule, then you really need to contemplate why you feel this way? Is it because he or she will pass snide remarks about your new hobby or your new project at work? A relationship can only be called healthy if the who are a part of it, are supportive of each other. You may not always agree with each other, but you can disagree respectfully and give reasons as to why you think your partner’s opinion/decision is not right because you want the best for them. If your partner is not happy when new opportunities come your way, then you are in an emotionally abusive relationship.
2. Your partner is excessively critical of you
Do you feel that your partner is always critical and cynical of whatever you do? While everyone is praising your promotion or your how good you are at the new hobby you have started enjoying, your partner cannot stop criticizing the same without any solid reason why. This is because he or she does not want you to feel good about yourself.
3. He or she is indifferent to your sorrows
Whether someone in your family is sick or you lost a recent project, your partner never lends you a shoulder to cry on. You feel you cannot rely on your partner for emotional support. They have limited tolerance for your problems and woes. If you think your partner has never been there when you need him or her the most, then you need to take note of that.
4. Your relationship is chaotic and makes you feel exhausted
A few rocky moments is a characteristic feature of all relationships, but if your relationship makes you feel unpleasant all the time, then it cannot be a healthy relationship. An emotionally abusive partner will try to keep the turmoil alive at all times, because the abuse thrives on chaos. It is only in chaos that your partner can blame you for everything that in wrong in your lives. If this is true for you, then your relationship needs some serious contemplation.
Suggested read: Effects An Emotionally Abusive Relationship Has On A Person
According to Womenhealth.gov,
“You may be experiencing emotional abuse if someone:
Monitors what you’re doing all the time
Unfairly accuses you of being unfaithful all the time
Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family
Tries to stop you from going to work or school
Gets angry in a way that is frightening to you
Controls how you spend your money
Humiliates you in front of others
Threatens to hurt you or people you care about
Threatens to harm himself or herself when upset with you
Says things like, “If I can’t have you then no one can.”
Decides things for you that you should decide (like what to wear or eat)”
If now you are sure that yours is an emotionally abusive relationship, then you need to get out of it immediately. First of all, know that you are not alone. Know that you can get help whenever you want. Here are a few things you can do:
- Call a help-line.
- For state or national support, go to Womanslaw.org.
- Call your local police station if you think the threat is physical.
- You can call 911 in case of an immediate threat.
- Get in touch with a child and family welfare agency.
- Seek professional help from a health expert.
That is a wrap on today’s post on ‘Am I being emotionally abused by my partner? Take This Test To Find Out’. If after reading the signs you think you are in an emotionally abusive relationship, then it is time you get out of it immediately.
If you have any questions, then do write to us. Our experts will respond to you immediately.
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