“Romance is the glamour which turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.” – Carolyn Gold Heilbrun 

Ah, romance. What would our everyday lives be without some of that magic fairy dust? A coy look here, a hug there; a suggestive wink here, a stolen kiss there – all these add to those sweet little moments and the sweet gestures that keep the spark alive that make our mundane lives beautiful and extraordinary.

Those furtive looks and kisses are easy when it’s just the two of you, but when Junior comes along, you have one more person to share the cuddles!! The little newcomer becomes the focus of everyone’s attention, especially the new Mom’s. This can make romance between Mom and Dad fizzle out, you’ll stop noticing signs that he wants to be intimate with you, and this seeming lack of passion can add to the stress that already comes along with caring for an infant.

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But all is not lost if you accept this fact and take steps to prevent romance from drying up. Here are 10 ways to keep the romance alive after a baby.

1. Get enough rest

The first thing that goes out the window when a couple becomes parents isn’t sex, its sleep. It’s hard to feel romantic when your mind is all foggy and you can’t remember what day it is. Both parents need to get enough rest and they can take turns to feed and change the baby in the middle of the night. Napping for short periods during the day also helps.

2. Reserve coffee time

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Coffee is just an excuse here; all you need is some quiet time alone, maybe even 10 minutes. Maybe early before the baby wakes up, or at night after he/she’s asleep. Or maybe in the evenings, right after work hours – that short time of connecting with each other will renew the feeling of being true partners.

3. Switch off

You have more than enough to keep you occupied and you don’t want to add your tablet and smartphone into the mix! Switch off when you get home from work or during your couple time. There is nothing more annoying than the ‘beep’ from a message alert just when the mood is setting in!

4. Share parenting chores

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Hello men, you’re parents too! If Mom is left to deal with dirty diapers, spit up, and piles of laundry all day, romance is not going to be the first thing on her mind!! When parents share parenting chores, it creates a feeling of teamwork, frees up time for both, and makes Mom love Dad even more!

5. Have a separate cot for the baby 

Whether you opt for co-sleeping or not, it’s good to have an alternative arrangement for the baby, so that he/she can nap during the day and have a safe place to sleep on the nights you want some nookie. It reminds you of your bed when it belonged to just the two of you and should ignite some much-needed sparks!

6. Maintain a routine 

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Being organized can do away with a lot of stress and save a lot of time – both of which are obstacles to romance. Babies are ready for routines right past the first few weeks and having specific times for feeding and sleeping can make all of you well-rested and stress free.

7. Get help 

A new baby itself is a lot of work, with extra cleaning and laundry, along with regular household chores. It makes sense to hire some help, at least for part of the day, so that chores are finished early and the evenings are free. That way, parents can put Junior to bed early and enjoy a movie or a nice meal together, and talk about non-baby things for a change!

8. Schedule date night 

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A clichéd tip, but one that works! Get grandparents or aunts or uncles to take care of the little one for a few hours while the two of you dress up and go some place nice. It can be something simple, but the point is to remind yourselves that you’re more than parents, you’re lovers too!

9. Take care of yourself 

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To get the spark going, fall in love with yourself all over again, first. Eat well, work out, and schedule basic grooming sessions so that you feel good about yourself. The confidence you feel inside will reflect outside and make you more attractive to your partner; sparks are sure to fly!

10. Pop surprises

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And if you don’t have time for anything, surprise each other! A love note in his wallet, a sweet message on her mirror, a surprise bouquet of flowers or even a surprise peck on the cheek – all these are sure to get those juices flowing and rekindle those dying embers!

Many parents don’t realize the importance of a happy marriage in parenting and keeping romance alive after baby. Your kids’ first idea of a relationship is what they see and experience from you, so it’s your responsibility to set a stable, loving foundation for your family. Go ahead and invest in romance – everyone’s the better for it!

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