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How to make your fantasy of a soul mate into reality

It is natural for a human being to aspire for a soul mate who will idealistically be the best kind of partner for him/her. Even those who say that they do not believe in the notion of a perfect soul mate, tend to have a vague image of the person with whom he/she will love spending their lives with. Most people are of the belief that somewhere in the world, their soul mate awaits them, someone who will be special for all the right and desirous reasons. According to psychologists, the few so-called realistic people who claim that the concept of a soul mate is just too silly, are equally affected by the whole idea, even if it is on a subconscious level.

you're my soul mate

Getting stuck on the idea of a ‘perfect’ soul mate

More often than not, when we think of our soul mate, we hope that they will have certain fixed qualities and attributes, and when we search for our soul mate we invariably want that special one to have all of these qualities. We get judgmental and react negatively when we face a person, a possible soul mate, not having even one of the attributes that we want him/her to have.

As a result of this, lot of people seem to get stuck in a fantasy world from where they hope that their special ‘customized’ person will one day descend. While it is rational to hope for your soul mate to be of your type, it is completely unreasonable to have an exaggerated view of that loved one. People often reject those who would actually be good for them in the hopes of one day meeting that fantastical soul mate. Great relationships get blocked and lost, and with time the person in search of his destined soul mate is overcome with feelings of unhappiness, rejection, and dissatisfaction.

soul mate candy

Embracing reality

The correct thing to do in this regard would be to embrace what will be best for you. If you think practically, you will realize that there are other better things that you should consider when you are picturing your soul mate. This should be an image of a person who will be easier to find and live with. A concept of a soul mate that can actually someday be felt, heard, touched, and eventually lived. It is such a soul mate, one who has his/her imperfections as well as positive characteristics who will love you in a way that is true, satisfying, and lasting. If you remain stubborn about your own idea of your perfect soul mate and get stuck on your ideal definition of soul mate, for all you know, you might just end up having a short, passionate love affair that will come crashing in the long run.

Your practical goal in this case should be to become soul mates with your beloved rather than meet him/her perchance as though by divine command or in a Bollywoodesque cinematic ambiance. Couples who struggle together in the various areas of life and together figure out a way to overcome each and every trouble, problem, difference have a greater chance of bonding better.

soul mate

Real world soul mate

If you put it in another way, we can say that real love will ensure that you will get acquainted with your real world soul mate only if you both, together, have the capability of overcoming all the challenges that you face as a couple. Quite contrary to how most people feel about soul mates, the entire concept of a soul mate is someone who you will feel comfortable sharing space with, even when you have spent more than a decade with them.

The soul mate that you dream of may only be good for you for the first few years, but the soul mate that you grow to fall in love with, will always be eager about learning, and will be eager about growing and developing in every field as and when they are faced with challenges.

When you have grown old and when you realize that what you and your better half share is more than dreamy love, it is then that you will discover that the element that is holding your relationship together and making it so fulfilling doesn’t have anything to do with finding and living with your soul mate. Perfect love, after all, is not just a fantasy, it is a dream that needs to be realized through consistent hard work and effort.

Suraiya Islam

Suraiya Islam

The mind of an introvert works in the weirdest fashion. They are overly sensitive, sentimental and have tons of thoughts running through their minds, but at the same time, for reasons unknown even to themselves, they like nothing better than to stay aloof. Being one such self-confessed introvert, I have always loved putting my thoughts into words. Good books and music with moving lyrics work as my Muse. Children and things abounding with innocence strengthen my faith in goodness. Contemporary Indian works of literature make me a happy bookworm, and songs by Coldplay brighten up my day like nothing else! Here's hoping you will enjoy reading my posts, for you can trust an introvert to be a keen observer and a very devoted blogger!