After spending years of your life telling everyone how relationships are yucky, there will come a time when you find yourself holding on to a tub of ice cream and crying while watching Notting Hill all alone on a Saturday evening. At this juncture in your life, you must rethink all your life decisions, and leave your house to step into the wonderful (?) world of dating. However, your self-imposed seclusion from everything related to love and relationships has resulted in your sad lack of knowledge regarding dating, which is why I am going to show you step-by-step how to date someone and not suck at it.
Firstly, we are going to start with what dating is. According to the Urban Dictionary, dating is “of a couple, to be in the early stages of a relationship where they go out on dates to find out what each other is like, as a prelude to actually being a fully fledged couple.” This actually works out perfectly for you, because you can’t possibly expect a child to become an architect after putting a couple of LEGOS together. Let me dumb it down for you – since you have just started to realize the existence of a world where you get to romantically interact with another human being, it is a little radical to expect you to commit fully to a relationship. Thus, understanding how to date someone can be the first step to a better future.
Here’s all the info you need.
Suggested read: 8 surefire tips on how to avoid awkward silences during a date
Step 1: Where to find a date
Dating is super fun and you might even end up telling your grandkids cute stories about your first date. However, before all that can happen, you might have to find yourself a date. This is not possible unless you alert the world about your existence, which is when other people looking for dates might just pick you to go out with. A separate lesson on socializing is required to elaborate on this, but here are some easy and time-saving ways in which you can put yourself on the radar.
1. Go out
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Do not try to be a hipster and stay in on Saturday night because that is the ‘cool’ thing to do. It is not the cool thing to do. It ensures that you stay forever alone. There are a few hotspots which are always crowded with needy people looking for dates like nightclubs, bars, and sometimes even social events like parties and weddings. In order to get a date, you need to test the waters in places like these.
2. Tinder
Image source: Tinder
The miracles of technology only seek to make your life easier when it comes to dating. If you don’t want to go out to find a date, sign up on one of those ubiquitous dating sites/apps that you can access in your PJs and on your phone to find yourself a date.
3. Take advantage of your friends
People are obsessed with making friends, so it is time that you take advantage of the few friends that you do have. Tap into their social circles, and if they love you enough, they can even ‘hook you up’ with someone.
4. Ask your ex out
I am just kidding – please don’t do that!
Step 2: How to ask them out on a date
After you have put yourself out there by changing your Facebook relationship status from “It’s complicated” to “Single,” and as a result, found yourself someone who might actually want to go out with you, it is time to grow a pair and ask them out. Women do not always need to wait for the man to ask them out – which is relevant advice for both men and women.
1. Start with a conversation
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You know, because it is sort of awkward if you go up to a stranger and ask them to go out with you because you could be a serial killer. A conversation where you emit all sorts of good vibes is a nice way to initiate the asking out process.
2. Make an appealing offer
Instead of saying, “go out on a date with me,” be cool and pretend you are in an indie commercial and ask them if they would like to go out for ice cream with you, or catch a movie with you or go star-gazing or something.
Suggested read: 18 essential first date conversation tips you MUST keep in mind
3. Do not break down if they say no
If you are new at this, as I am pretty sure you are, you must be well-equipped with a decent reaction in case you get rejected. Rejection is a very common occurrence in life, and it is highly immature if you decide to hang yourself after your first asking out attempt ends with a ‘no, thank you.’
Step 3: What not to do before a date
After managing to convince someone to go out with you, you need to prepare for your date, which is a whole series of things by itself. The emotions you are likely to feel are nervousness, anxiety, excessive sweating, paranoia, and indecision, but that’s okay because the end result is pretty great. Here are the things that you must not, under any circumstances, do before you go out on your date.
1. Look homeless
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You must constantly remind yourself that you are not going out with your best buddy who loves you unconditionally, whether you are in a suit or in PJs. Neither are you going out to grab groceries. Grooming yourself makes you look presentable and reduces the chances of you ending up on a “Best Date Fails” video on YouTube. Also, good smelling people are always a turn on.
2. Forget to brush up on you flirting skills
Basic pointers include not being a stuck up jerk, not being creepy, and not flirting with yourself.
3. Practice pickup lines from the internet
Even if you haven’t flirted with anyone at any point in your life, you are not allowed to Google things like “best pickup lines for first date” or “how to be funny and cool” and memorize them before going on your date.
4. Forget to brush your teeth
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I am not getting your hopes up by saying that your date will end with a doorstep kiss, but personal hygiene is a habit you should develop naturally, and a date is a perfect excuse to start right away.
5. Name your unborn babies
Your excitement is perfectly justified, but do not go overboard and write down your wedding vows and name your unborn children. Not because there is no chance of that ever happening, but because you don’t want to suffer from heartbreak in case it doesn’t work out.
Suggested read: 10 vital things you should NEVER lie about on the first date
6. Make fashionably late your life’s motto
Your sexy side might want you to be fashionably late and let your date yearn and pine for you until you make your fabulous entrance as they are rendered speechless by your style and your charisma – except if you do that, your date might not be around to witness your little performance. Punctuality is sexy.
7. Invite 5 other friends to your date
The whole point of a date is ruined when you have 5 other friends either hiding behind the curtains or sitting at the same table as you in order to rescue you if you need it. Do not be that person.
Step 4: Surviving the actual date
Getting ready for the date is pretty easy once you have gotten a hang of things in your head. To sum it up, you have to look great and not buy an engagement ring. After this comes the actual date itself, which is the most important part of the dating process when you are trying to figure out how to date. Here are some of the things that you should do and should not do in order to survive your date.
1. Things you should not say
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There are certain things which will creep your date out instantly if you say them out loud. A date, that too a first date, is not the place to reveal how you like hunting baby animals for sport. Also, some other things that are out of bounds are your date’s body parts, your radical views on communism, and your bank balance.
2. Making them like you
Making them like you is an oxymoron, because the moment you actively try to come across as impressive, they are likely to get unimpressed. Be your natural self, crack non-perverted jokes, and talk about the other person – are some of the simpler ways in which you can convince your date of your niceness.
3. Being polite
If you are not very good with compliments, or if you have self-esteem issues (we all do), then the safest bet is to be polite. Kill them with your politeness (not literally, please). Compliments are a great way of being polite if offering to pay is not enough.
4. Do not be creepy
For example, do not high five them after cracking a racist joke.
5. Choose an exciting date location
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If you don’t know the person you are going out with, then you need to arrange for conversation starters so that you don’t go that dreaded point during your date when you have to say, “Sooooo, this was fun.” Instead of choosing boring places, go to amusement parks or the graveyard or something like that.
6. Offer to split the bill
It’s 2016. Patriarchal diktat which insists that the man has to pay for everything is redundant. If you are a man, then you should definitely offer to pay. If you are a woman, then you should offer to pay too because you are a self-sufficient, independent individual. Therefore, instead of making things super awkward, deal with the money issue like functional adults.
7. Don’t use tongue
Making a date successful isn’t that difficult, and if you like your date and they sorta kinda like you back, it is likely that you might go home with a goodnight kiss in tow. Which is totally aww-worthy. Until someone uses tongue. Which is gross and a complete no-no when it comes to first dates. If things work out, there is going to be time for tongue later, just not now.
Suggested read: How to be flirty while being classy and graceful
Step 5: How to handle yourself after your date
The date does not end with your parting ways. The whole point is lost if you don’t take it forward (if things work out that is). There are certain ways in which you should behave after you have each gone back to your own homes, to ensure that your dating life does not suffer a sad demise with only one attempt. Here are some things you should do after you have said your goodnights.
1. Determine whether it was successful or unsuccessful
Figuring out whether your date was successful or unsuccessful is pretty easy. If your date runs away screaming while simultaneously trying to dial the cops, it is safe to say that you won’t be going on another date anytime soon.
2. Do not text them saying you love them
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There are ways to determine if you have managed a successful date, after which you must not, under any circumstance, screw it up by texting them saying that you love them, no matter how happy you feel or to what extent you have planned your future wedding.
3. Be polite instead
What you can do instead is tell them that you had a great time, whether you did or not, and if there is a chance that your date, by some miracle, likes you back, then this is also the perfect time to hint at another meeting.
By this time, I hope you have become a dating pro, because if you come to think of it, knowing how to date someone isn’t that big a deal or a very difficult thing to learn. Unless you are 12, in which case, you should be doing your homework.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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