The art of making interesting conversation is not that complicated, if you know what to do when and how. And this comes in handy when you’re trying to make first date conversation pleasant and smooth, to impress your date with your skills. Of course, there are other relevant elements that make a first date a success, but conversation is vital to make a good impression on your date, which will tell you whether the date was a success or a dud.
Conversation starters can make or break your first date, and ensuring that you choose good ones will work in your favor. It’s better to be prepared than to fumble around for a topic to break the ice on the first date. Of course, there are several people who can make conversation easily and don’t need any prior practice. These are but a lucky few. For others, who fail miserably at charming their dates with their conversation skills, it’s really hard, and they might have to resort to practicing prior to their date.
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However, you need to be aware that a few charming words that you practice in front of the mirror or with your buddy won’t make a lasting impression. It’s a combination of your words, how you behave with your date, and how you treat them as an individual. Here are a few first date conversation tips that are sure to come in handy the next time you go on a first date.
1. Starting the date well.
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What does conversation have to do with the place you’re having the date in, you wonder? Well, if the ambience is shot, no amount of charming conversation on your part will do any good. So, if you get to pick the place for the date, choose one that you both would be comfortable in. Also, make sure that you arrive on time. Another thing to be careful of is to be courteous and wam towards your date. Addressing them by their name will will make the date more intimate, by establishing a personal touch.
2. Smiling often.
A smile is the shortest distance between two people. So smile, as often as you can. It’s a great way to cut away any awkwardness of the first date. It will help you relax and get comfortable, while doing the same to your date.
3. Liking your date.
Granted that you’re just now meeting your date for the first time (probably). If you’re excited for the date, make sure that you show it in your demeanor and attitude. It may be your third first date of the month, but it’s new too. So feel positive about the date as well as the person you’re meeting. It’ll give the whole date a positive vibe, a positive energy.
4. Remembering your manners and etiquette.
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Manners maketh man (and woman). Treat your date with respect and always be kind and courteous to them during the date. It’s okay if you make a slip in between. The important thing is to recover from it and continue to be well-mannered.
5. Avoiding certain topics.
The first date is a bit of a minefield, but only if you don’t be careful. To this end, do not talk about your ex(es), your past relationships, or any nasty surprises. You’re both not yet in a relationship; you’re just trying to see if you can be in one. Refraining from too personal questions too early into the date is a good call. You don’t want to come across as nosy or intrusive. However, asking the right questions, in the right manner, will get your date to open up to you.
6. Using subtle flattery.
Complimenting your date is good manners. By complimenting your date, you show them that you’ve noticed the effort they’ve taken to dress up and look good for the date. It’ll surely warm you up to them. However, don’t forget to give genuine compliments, because meaningless flattery is a huge turn off. On the other extreme, don’t get too personal or cheap with your compliments either.
7. Using positive words.
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Positivity breeds positivity. When you meet your date, be positive that the date is going to be a success, even if you know no such thing for sure. Also, use positive words in conversation. Let your date know that you’re glad to be spending time with them, getting to know them. This positive attitude will go over well and won’t get you bogged down, even when the date doesn’t work out as you’d planned. Your optimism and positivity has the power to attract positivity.
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8. Finding common grounds.
Talking to someone who shares something common with you is easy. So try to find something, an interest, a hobby, a passion that you both like or dislike, which will get the conversation going. Whether it’s to talk down something you both hate together, or talking about something you both love, like reading.
9. Touching appropriately.
Leaning towards your date while you’re talking is a subtle sign that you’re interested in what they’re saying. It’s also a subtle cue that you’re trying to get closer to them. If your date does it too, then you know that they’re interested too. Avoiding reaching out and touching them deliberately, at least for the first couple of dates. However, if your date leans forward and touches you on your arm or leans towards you now and then, they’re making it know that they’re interested. Also, touching is another form of flirting.
10. Maintaining eye contact.
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If you’re having a great time on your date, your eyes tend to show it. Maintain eye contact with them, hold their gaze while making a point, and nod casually while keeping your gazes locked when they say something. It’s the easiest way of showing that you’re focused on them and find what they’re saying interesting.
11. Body language.
When you’re sitting across the table or next to your date, be aware of your body. Fidgeting, squirming, rocking your body, shaking your leg, or nodding your head seemingly indefinitely – all show that you’re nervous and are ready to jump out of your skin. Sit back comfortably and relax. Be your graceful self, and you’ll be fine. It’s a date, not a job interview.
12. Being decisive.
Do you take forever to order food, or even your drink? Don’t be that person who annoys everyone around them by exhibiting their indecisiveness. It’s a huge turn off, really.
13. Speaking clearly.
Nobody likes a loudmouth, or a brash talker. Speak softly yet clearly to your date. You’re not in a debate competition, nor are you in an exit interview at your company! Don’t yell, mumble, or be loud. The calmer and softer you are in your tone, the relaxed picture you present to your date, which will put them at ease too.
14. Keeping a watch on their reactions.
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Just like you give away your feelings and emotions through your body language, your date is doing the same. So it’s a good idea to keep an eye on them. You may think that the date’s going smoothly, but in reality, your date may be so bored that they’re killing themselves slowly with a rusty spoon! If your date fidgets, squirms, is distracted when you talk, or is staring glassily at you, know that they’re not with you a hundred percent. Wrap up what you were talking about, and shine the spotlight on them, so that they get a chance to put in their two cents.
15. Avoiding hogging the conversation.
You’re on a roll with your anecdotes, and your date seems interested in it. However, it’s bad form to hog the conversation without allowing them to speak at all. Also, remember NEVER to interrupt when your date is talking. Keep your sentences short, to the point, and precise. This way, your date will have a chance to voice their opinions on the matter at hand too.
16. Disagreeing respectfully.
Not every topic of conversation will leave you both in consensus. There are bound to be differences in opinions. If you disagree with something they said, don’t try to prove them wrong, or worse, start arguing with them to make your point. Laugh it off, like it’s not that big a deal, and steer the conversation to lighter topics.
17. Let silence be comfortable.
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You don’t have to panic every time a silence descends in between the conversation. It’s not a bad thing; it’s only bad if you make it to be. Enjoy the quiet in between the conversation. It’s a way to feel relaxed, while your date feels the same. Share a smile, look around, or focus on your meal/drink that’s in front of you. Remember, silence is a part of a good conversation too.
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18. Ending the date gracefully.
This is one of those things that people mistakenly think is hard. It’s not, actually. End a date warmly by telling that you had a great time with them (even if you didn’t), because it’s the polite thing to do. Exchange pleasantries, hug or kiss goodbye (whichever you feel comfortable with), and thank them for a great date. If you liked them, then this is the perfect time to make plans to meet again.
See? It isn’t rocket science to have a memorable and warm first date. You just need to keep these first date conversation tips in mind, and you’ll be super fine! Good luck!
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