The first date is exciting because it’s something new, where you meet a stranger (relative, in some cases), to figure out if you have chemistry to take it forward. You look for that elusive ‘connection,’ that will tell you whether you move forward, or nip the association in the bud. However, in their quest to find that elusive ‘connection,’ people sometimes tend to resort to lying – or more accurately, ‘white’ lying – to their dates. See, this is not to harm the other person or to deceive them; it’s more like, trying too hard to see if there’s a connection, however thin that might be.
However, these small lies have a tendency to blow up over time, if you let it go too far. It will end up being far more trouble than it’s worth, frankly. There’s no reason for you to lie to make a good impression on your date, because if they don’t like the REAL you, then they’re not worth your time, now, are they? It’s as simple as that, really.
Suggested read: The complete guide on what NOT to do on a first date
Yes, first dates are important, because you never know where you might find a potential life partner. So don’t blow the chance of potentially meeting ‘the one,’ by lying on your first date. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of all the most important things you should NEVER lie about when you’re on the first date with someone. If you’ve ever resorted to lying about these things, then you might want to rethink your strategy for dating.
1. Your name.
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Yes, it’s weird, and some people are known to do it on their first dates. They lie about their names on the first date. Maybe it’s because it’s easier for them to just disappear from the scene if things don’t go according to plan. However, there are plenty of valid reasons why you shouldn’t lie about your name on the first date.
When you invent a name, you won’t respond to it when your date addresses you, because, hello, it’s not your real name. If, your doomsday scenario backfires and your date actually goes smoothly, you decide to give them your real name. How do you think that’ll make them feel? Stupid, turned off, and not to mention embarrassed. Do you think they would still want to go out with you again, after knowing that you lied to them? Don’t you think they’ll start wondering if anything you’ve said was the truth? With this one lie, you’ve ruined what could have been a really first date.
If you’re so concerned about things going south, at least stick to your first name, without giving them your last. That’s a trade off you should be okay with, yeah?
2. Your age.
Yes, women tend to lie about their age more than men do, but this one applies to both sexes. You may be tempted to shave off a couple of years from your actual age, but don’t do it. It’ll only get tougher if things do go smoothly and you begin to date this person regularly. How do you think they’ll feel that they were duped by you, when it eventually slips out?
Your lie as well as your lack of self-confidence are bound to be a huge turn off for that person. Is that the kind of impression you want to make on a potential life partner? You see, it’s you who is so concerned with your age, not the other person. If they are too concerned with your age, then they don’t deserve to get to know you. It’s that simple.
3. Your job.
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You spend most of your waking hours at your job. So why in the world would you lie about what you do for a living? In fact, your job is part of your identity; a big part, in fact. Even if you’re thinking of quitting your job to pursue your passion, never lie about your current occupation.
When you explain your desire to follow your heart, your date will understand it. Or if you’re saving up to go back to school to get another degree, or do start something on your own. They’re just trying to figure out how you spend your days. It’ll tell them a little about your personality, while also giving them a glimpse into your world.
4. Your ‘relationship’ status.
This one refers to the cheaters, who’re looking for some action on the side. Are you really single? Or are you in an open relationship/marriage? Or are you separated from your spouse, waiting for a divorce? Or are you actually divorced? Or are you “thinking” about separating? Or widowed? See, your actual relationship status does matter, especially on the first date.
Even if you’re dating others, but not in anything serious yet, tell your date exactly that. Don’t lie to them about it. They will clearly know your relationship status, which will give them the option to continue interacting with your past your first date or not. If you’re clear on this from the start, there will be no room for any confusion, and no burdens on your conscience either.
5. Your kids or lack thereof, situation.
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This is obviously a big one. It so happens that people don’t know how to bring up the topic on the very first date, so they stall. However, you need to mention it if you have kids. You may have had them while you were still young, and you probably don’t look like a parent, but it’s only fair to tell your date the truth about it right from the start. If you’re asked point blank and you say no, then you’re stuck trying to think of a better way to bring up the topic again. Trust me, it won’t go well when you do admit to having kids.
You have kids, you love them, so why hide them from your date? Granted that you need time to ease them into it, but lying about them – even by omission – is a no-no. It will be construed as you being embarrassed and/or ashamed of your kids. Are you though? If not, then just tell them. Also, if your date really isn’t concerned with the fact that you have kids, then you’ll know that they’re a keeper, right?
6. Your smoking habits.
There are many people who absolutely abhor smoking. They can’t stand the smoke, for whatever reason. If you do smoke, and your date asks you if you do, then just admit it. There’s no point in hiding it or lying about it. It’s going to come out eventually; might as well be in the beginning. It’ll give you both an opportunity to talk about it, if you think you both have serious chemistry, and whether or not they can deal with it.
However, it’s individual opinions and notions that will decide whether or not they can handle a person who smokes. It’s absolutely for the best to put something like this on the table, rather than delaying it for a later date.
7. Your hobbies and interests.
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There’s no reason to lie about this, but some people do. This, again, is a part of your personality. So why lie about it? If you like do certain things, things that you’re passionate about, then tell your date that. However, if you hold back, or worse, lie about it because you fear their judgment, then you’re doing yourself the disservice of being ashamed of yourself. Yes, that’s exactly the message you’re sending out when you lie about your hobbies and interests, however weird or bizarre they may be.
Your interests, hobbies, and passions are what bring you closer to one another. If you lie about them, or worse, invent new ones that you have no idea about, just so you can connect with them, then your supposed ‘connection’ with this other person has no chance of a survival. Because no relationship that’s built on lies – even small ones like these – will survive in the long run.
8. Your pets.
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Some people are pet people, and others are not. So if your pet is your best friend who can’t live without, then lay it on the table straightaway about its role in your life. If your date is allergic certain animals, say a cat, and you adore your cat, they may end up sneezing the whole date, while trying to figure out what’s causing the allergic reaction. So be straight up about your pets.
9. Your future goals.
This one is quite tricky to bring up and discuss on a first date. On the one hand, it’s important that you both are clear about the future, it’s also vital not to freak out your date by telling them about your desire to have a family of your own, a home, travel the world, and even start your own enterprise, all in the next five years.
What you can do instead is stick to discussing career goals. If you want to build a multinational company in the next five years, and you’re already working towards that goal, then tell them that. There’s nothing wrong with talking about your future; in fact, it’s exciting.
Suggested read: 10 first date conversation rules you NEED to break
10. Your intentions.
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Are you ready for a relationship? Are you looking for something short term, a casual relationship? Or are you looking for your life partner, to spend the rest of your life with? Make sure you let your date know what your intentions are, so that there are no confusions later on. You don’t have to confess your desire to have a family and pop out babies ASAP. What you should do is let them know what you’re expecting from dating.
Whether you’re testing waters by dating new people because you’re not sure what you want from a relationship, or you’re ready to commit if and when the right person comes along, your date should know which one you’re looking for on the first date.
First dates can be scary and intimidating, but that’s no reason to resort to lying about who you are as a person. Just be yourself, go out and meet your date, and enjoy it, while being honest.
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