Once in a while, a person will come along who will turn the world upside down for us. They’ll come into our lives like a sudden whiff of cool breeze and bring that much needed respite from the ordinariness of life we all constantly seek. The concept of liking another human being (not the idea you have of them, mind you) is so pure and beautiful. We always strive to be our best selves around these special individuals; bringing out the most polished, and impressive aspects of ourselves in order to hopefully have our feelings reciprocated.
But even more difficult than presenting yourself is to have the other person present themselves in their most natural persona. What could one possibly do that will get the person they like out of their shell? This is a question men often find themselves asking when dealing with a lady they fancy. Women sometimes tend to be guarded and do not easily divulge their true natures to anyone and everyone. It takes time and a whole lot of effort in order to truly know the girl you like. How, then, does one go about this tedious process?
In this article, we’ve aimed to breakdown the process and produce a guideline as to how to get to know a girl that you like. We suggest you take notes for this one!
How to get to know a girl you like
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Observation is key when it comes to getting to know a person, regardless of whether they are male or female. Always keep a sharp eye out for little hints that might tell you what the girl of your dreams is like. Is she wearing a tee of your favorite band? Does she prefer coffee over tea? Does she smell like vanilla or like a freshly picked bunch of flowers? Is she the kind of girl who always carries a book wherever she goes? All these seemingly insignificant aspects of a girl’s personalities are often glimpses that help you decipher her true personality before you can interact for yourself and get to know the girl of your dreams.
Most guys love to talk about themselves; they boast about their achievements in an effort to impress the girl they desire the most. Men have this common misconception that spouting off a list of their accomplishments is all it takes to secure a place in the heart of their beloved. What it does achieve is absolutely nothing. A little modesty never hurts, right? Let your actions speak louder than your words. Men who constantly talk about themselves tend to make the girl distance herself from them. No one likes hanging out with overachievers whose very presence makes you feel incompetent and intimidated. Try not to be that guy. Instead, when you’re having a conversation with her, give her the opportunity to talk. Listen to what she has to say. Sometimes people take time to open up to strangers; by showing an interest in what she has to say (no matter how trivial the subject may be), you’re letting on the fact that you’re someone she could confide in; someone who will lend a patient ear and truly listen as bits of her soul pour out along with the words that escape from her mouth.
It is also prudent to not be a dumb puppet that she can constantly rant to. You must make an effort to keep the conversation engaging and interesting enough for the two of you to continue it at length. On the contrary, don’t be afraid to share a few silences as well; when you just steal a couple glances at each other and bask in the pleasant company of each other.
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Showing gestures of kindness often go a long way in establishing that bond of friendship (or more) between you and the girl you like. You come off as a nice person she can risk opening herself up to. Kindness doesn’t mean grand gestures and showering her with extravagant gifts for no rhyme or reason; kindness should reflect off of your soul and bounce directly to hers like a soft beam of light.
Smile at her when you see her; help her out if she needs something; offer to do her chores for her to ease her burden. You must make sure to draw the line though, so that you aren’t taken for granted by her. Be the kind guy she can trust and fall back on when the need arises; not the sorry chap she keeps delegating all her work to. Moreover, don’t limit the kindness just to her. Be kind to everyone else around you, so that she knows you’re not just doing it to impress her. Tip the waiter at the restaurant you go on a date to; be kind to your environment and don’t litter around; refrain from being cruel to animals and give them the respect they deserve. All in all, subtly let her know you’re a decent human being she can be herself with.
Suggested read: 12 incredible tips on how to have an attractive personality
Get to know others around her
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One of the ways on how to get to know a girl you like is to first get to know the people around her. Strike up conversations with her friends and other people she interacts with. Make yourself comfortable with them; you’ll realize that by talking to them, you’ll find out bits about her personality which may not have otherwise surfaced in your direct interactions with her. Try not to be too intrusive in your questions and ensure that they do not mistake you for a creep. The key is to remain interested but not too overtly enthusiastic.
Have one-on-one interactions
It is indeed easier to interact with the girl you like whilst remaining in the safe blanket of company of the other mates in your group where the air of awkwardness is effectively stifled by the giggles and jokes that ensue in all your dealings as a group. But you should muster up the courage to spend some time alone with the girl of your dreams for that is where the magic truly happens. Unless you devote time to being in each other’s presence, you will never find out what she is truly like and how intense the chemistry between the two of you is.
Share details about yourself too
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While you’re in the process of getting to know someone, give the other person the opportunity to get to know you as well. Don’t be unnecessarily cryptic; try not to reveal everything about yourself at once either. You must strike a balance between keeping the air of mystery intact and enamoring her with your charming self. Incite in her the urge to reveal the charming aspects of her personality as well. Flirt around a little, if need be. Remember, it is not a competition and you are not here to impress her out of her wits; your aim isn’t to defeat the other prospective suitors eyeing her and establishing yourself as the only individual she fancies – but to get to know her for who she is, her most natural self.
At the cost of sounding like a broken record, I want all you men out there to remember these two words: be yourself. In the quest for getting to know the girl you like, don’t put on a façade and be someone that you’re not. You will not only be doing injustice to the girl whose approval you seek, but also to your own self. A man who is confident in himself, is unafraid and unapologetic to be himself, is a lot more attractive than someone who tries too hard to be someone he’s not just to win the woman he likes. Women feel at ease around such people and get easily comfortable around them in a short span of time.
Getting to know someone you like isn’t rocket science; all it requires is a little bit of effort and a little bit patience for the other individual to ease into it. You can never force someone to instantly open up before you like a flower in full bloom; this expectation will only drive them further into distancing themselves from you. Give it time, and I can guarantee, you’ll watch the magic happen right in front of your eyes. So go and put these tips on how to get to know the girl you like into action and see the magic unfold!
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