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The Lost Art Of Starting Over In A Failing Relationship

“Hard is trying to rebuild yourself, piece by piece, with no instruction book, and no clue as to where all the important bits are supposed to go.” ― Nick Hornby

There is this thing about life – it doesn’t give you a second chance. You need to fight for it. There are plenty of people in this world who just go with the flow, passing through different notions of this world by taking it one step at a time. They breathe in and out, and simply let the flow take them without their will. And when they don’t reach where they are supposed to go, they simply blame the universe.


Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

If you want to achieve greatness – not just in love, but in life, then you got to swim against the flow. Only dead fishes go with the flow. You are anything but dead. Your heart gives you the motivation to strive for excellence with every single beat. Be the tide and take everything with you. The universe will throw a curveball. People will make it impossible for you to reach your destination. In order to achieve greatness, you would be required to give away a part of yourself. But the moment you get where you belong, you would realize how you came out of age during your journey.

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Love is no such exception. It demands your attention. It requires the two of you to replenish its source. You are supposed to grow with your partner and change in a positive way. When it comes to love, we all face quite a few setbacks. We lose our faith, our trust, and too often, we end up losing ourselves in the process of loving our significant other. We all see plenty of ideal couples roaming around. We take inspiration from our parents and grandparents. Deep within, we all wish to find the kind of love that lasts forever. Sadly, nothing in this world can come to you without making any effort.

If you want to experience the kind of movie romance that keeps you awake for nights, then you have to walk against the tide. You need to push yourself and make an effort. One of the major reasons why we, millennials, find it hard to experience unadulterated love is because we give up way too easily. We have been overly inspired by movies and books, and that has clouded our judgment when it comes to love. We have a whole different idea of love. When we imagine a lasting relationship, we only think of those memorable moments, hugs and kisses, double-ended rainbows, and unicorns. Love is not supposed to be like this. It is supposed to be tough. After all, it is the strongest force in this world and there is a whole new side of it that you are required to experience. Love is kind and gentle, but at the same time, love is also harsh and can destroy anyone in an instance.

couple in love_New_Love_Times

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Eternal love is like the eye of the deadliest hurricane that you can ever see. To reach to its seat, you got to withstand the flow of the wind and other forces. The universe will test your bond. The two of you will be separated more than once. But choosing two different lives after a separation can never be the solution. It is all about colliding once again like meteors and making your whole life a work of art with your amalgamation. Yes, the two of you can be different. The two of you can be poles apart, and sometimes, taking a step back might seem like the easiest thing to do. Just because it is the easiest thing to do, doesn’t mean it’s the right thing as well.

We all belong to a generation that is obsessed with the idea of finding ourselves. We are the experts on starting over. We give away something long-lasting and precious to taste anything new and exciting, only to regret our decision for the rest of our life. We like to destroy our happiness and sabotage our life. There was a time when I used to think that I don’t deserve to be happy. It took me years to realize that the only person who was standing between me and my share of happiness was myself. I was being loved, not just by my soulmate but also by my friends and family. I was just not ready to accept that love. There were so many people out there who loved me. I just… didn’t love myself. It was a failing relationship with my own self that failed all else around.

Suggested read: 9 REAL reasons why people don’t talk about the pain of rejection

So, instead of starting over my life from the scratch, I decided to give my failing relationship another try. True love is one of the most precious things in this world. If you have found your soulmate, then consider yourself quite fortunate, because not everyone in this world is destined to find love. Your battle is already half-won. All you gotta do is give it another try and make it work.

Do you ever wonder how certain couples around you are able to stay in love for years? They make it seem so effortless. How is that even possible?

It is because they have mastered the art of starting over. Love is not an event, it’s a process. You have to fall in love with your partner with every passing day with the same intensity. You need to redefine yourself and find them all over again. When the two of you fell in love, you were entirely different. How can you expect your partner to be the same individual when you have grown so much in the past as well? Every time you think your relationship is going through a rough patch, take a step back and revisit your past. You can’t recreate the same circumstances and you are not even required to act the identical way. Instead, you need to experience the same feeling all over again.

couple in love_New_Love_Times

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

There are only a handful of people in this world who gets a second chance. Make yourself an exception and experience the art of redefining yourself and your soulmate in the process. It doesn’t matter if the two of you are stone hearts or hand grenades, ruptures souls or razor blades. You can always be each other’s support. Be your partner’s strength instead of their weakness to give your failing relationship one more chance. It will be tough. It is supposed to be tough. But it would be so damn worth it!

Whenever you are having a rough patch in your relationship, try to talk to your partner. Let them know how much you love them and that life without them would be so incomplete. Too often, we get so pre-occupied with our life that we don’t get a chance to show our gratitude to our partner. Thank them for always being there by your side and revisit your past with them. Talk to them about those good old days when you fell in love with each other for the first time.

There is nothing in this world that communication can’t solve. Be honest with your partner. Pour your heart and soul out to them and mean each and every word of it. You need to think of the separation before taking that big step. Mourn for the loss of your relationship. Even if your partner is alive and healthy, you need to imagine a world without them. After all, by taking separate ways, the two of you might be able to live, but your relationship would die. Experience the grief that your dead and fragile relationship can give you in the coming days and you will certainly get your answer.

couple holding hands_New_Love_Times

Image source: Pinterest 

Should I give it one more chance or am I done? Before you ask yourself this big question, take a step back and simply imagine your life without your partner. If you are thoughtful enough, you would get your answer loud and clear. There are a few things in this world that are worth fighting for and true love is certainly one of them. Start over. Hit that reset button to overcome an obstacle. After a while, you will realize how effortless it can be.

Do you know what the toughest battle in this world is? It is a war that takes place almost every single day inside us. Should I let go or should I hold on? Keep holding on to your love and let go of your anger and resentment. Our life is made up of choices and at the end of the day, it all comes to us. You can either walk out of your relationship only to spend your whole life regretting your decision or you can give it another try. You can start all over again and make it work this time.

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Even if it doesn’t work, you won’t have any regrets. You know you have given your whole to your relationship and it is more than what anyone can ever ask for. Before you split up with your partner, make sure that you have given your whole to the relationship and have left no stone unturned.

Our life is made up of choices: happy or sad, with or without, in or out.

In or out. This is the biggest choice that you can make.

In or out, my friend. What is your verdict?

Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Article Name
The Lost Art Of Starting Over In A Failing Relationship
A failing relationship needs an anchor to be swept safe, ashore. Think you can rise to the challenge? The world, at large, seems to be failing.
Bhavya Kaushik

Bhavya Kaushik

A national bestselling author, Bhavya believes that too often the stories we write paint the reality we try to escape from. Bhavya believes in breaking the stereotypes and trying new things because life is too short to let it stay boring. With his love for verse, he can be found avidly blogging about life, love and everything that covers in between. He lives his life by the motto, 'I'm the story of my own journey.' "I don't write stories. I write characters."