Two summers ago, when I had just graduated and returned to live with my parents for a month or two, I discovered Tinder. Or maybe Tinder discovered me to be honest! Like illness attacks you when you are physically vulnerable, Tinder caught me when there was a huge social gap in my life since all my friends drifted away with their real BFs, and I had to rely on something that was virtual! Well, I thought the opposite of real, in this case, would be virtual, but courtesy you guys, it still was ‘fake!’
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
After I spent two precious weeks of my life swiping left, I thought it was necessary someone told the Tinder guy folks about how they are reducing the potentially great dating app to rumble! The first on my extensive list of whinges is guys playing lax on Tinder! I personally love muscularity, but hey! If you don’t have the confidence of displaying at least one pic of just your face, dude, there’s no one who can stop me from swiping left!
Image source: Shutterstock
The guys who put up pictures with different hotties, in each arm, as their profile picture, what are you even thinking?! Grow some balls, fella, and date these girls instead! Throwing these photos on our face is rude, and yet hilarious, because it clearly shows that you want to brag about these Victoria’s Secret models to intimidate us, but can neither get them nor us! What a pity!
Suggested read: These ghastly experiences of Tinder users will make you want to uninstall the app
The tagline info is another area, you really need to work at! You guys apparently think women don’t care about that section and just skim through it casually. Well, assuming that is criminal, boys! The bottom line is, it really doesn’t matter if all your 5 pics are a smashing hit, coz we will be construing and scrutinizing your tagline to find the dirt! If your bio says anything about “slaying them sluts” or “bangin’ the hoes”, we will report your account!
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
For those, who have cherry-picked only their mirror shots, brace yourselves for an instinctive NAH! Women enjoy seeing men outdoors doing some activity, maybe on a boat holding a glass of beer in one hand and a fish in another! Even that will do, but only mirror shots speak volumes of what a narcissistic prick you are! It also indicates that your life sucks, though you may disagree, but who cares! So, if we see 5 pics of you, all by yourself, doing nothing but taking pics of you, we will instinctively assume that you have no friends, and perhaps, no job! And you know what they say about a woman’s instinct? It is always right! ☺
The ‘pic-with-the-ex’ squad: Really?! A photo of you stealing a peck from your oh-so-lovely ex-gf is supposed to make us realize what? That you are a loser?! You are sending a million red flags, dude! No one sane enough will ever swipe right! A clingy ex-bf is the last thing a girl wants in her dating history!
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
To the ever-green crew of the 45-year-olds: I love you guys, and I am not saying this because I am about to lash out at you, but I really do! However, posing as a 25 year old, and backing that lie with a two-decade old profile picture? Now that is not done! A match-making dotcom is what you need to sign up for. Sorry!
So that’s all I guess I would like to tell yawl. I agree women are shallow too! And of course, we are choosy and finicky. When Tinder serves us dude after dude, we get pretty spoilt for choices, you know! Just avoid the mistakes I pointed out here, and ting, we will swipe right!
See ya!
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