A universal problem that most youngsters face in a relationship these days is being friendzoned. Daily, thousands of youngsters get friendzoned despite their futile attempts to impress someone they are interested in. It’s sad, really.
Unlike what most Facebook memes suggest, this is not just a problem that guys face. News Flash: Girls get friendzoned too, as hard as that is to believe!
Suggested read: 8 unmistakable signs you have been friendzoned
Yes, they do, a lot more times than you could imagine. So, yes, there are guys who could be completely oblivious to our feelings and dismiss them as mere friendship.
If you don’t believe it, here’s my story.
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
I’m a 17-year-old girl and I was friendzoned by a guy.
It’s partly my fault, because I haven’t gathered enough courage to tell him how I feel about him. I’m not usually the shy one, but somehow, when I’m around him, I can’t seem to put together my thoughts and tell him how I feel.
This guy, my guy, let’s call him Mr Oblivious.
Mr Oblivious and I studied in the same school, so we’ve known each other for almost a decade. It does feel like I’ve known him forever. That’s part of my problem. When you know someone for a long time, you tend to discount them, don’t you? You’re more interested in ‘new’ things; something new catches your fancy and you’d totally disregard the ‘good’ thing you already have right in front of your eyes. That’s pretty much the summary of my story.
So, Mr O is now in the same high school as I am, and there isn’t a single day that we don’t hang out. Sometimes I think we cannot live without each other. Our relationship is platonic yet romantic in its own way.
A few months ago, he became infatuated with a girl we go to school with. He told me about it, and it not just broke my heart, it made me annoyed with myself for not letting him in on my feelings. That girl could have been me!
Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License
Anyway, after a couple of weeks, they got to talking and I considered it to be rather harmless. There was no way he was going to ask her out. At least, that’s what I thought. Every day, he would tell me about this girl and his budding feelings for her, and I would sit there listening to him and hoping he was talking about me. But, no, he wasn’t.
Finally, the day came and he apparently asked her out. Being the pricey girl that she is, she said she needed ‘time’ to figure it out, and that she didn’t know him too well and yadda yadda yadda. Same old story. To me, it seemed like she was more than eager to go out with Mr Oblivious, but was playing hard to get so she didn’t come across as too eager.
Now, I knew that the longer she took to commit to him, I had a fair chance of putting forth my feelings and getting a response from him. So, I had to come up with a well devised plan to either open up about my feelings, or simply sabotage what he felt for the other girl.
The girl kept teasing him and playing hard to get, and I thought I was winning. I took every opportunity to sympathize with him, spend more time with him, and eventually, I hoped he would see me more than a mere friend from school.
Suggested read: The ultimate guide on how to turn someone down without hurting his feelings
Alas, little did I know what was to come.
One evening, we were hanging out at our favorite spot, the little café a block from our high school. I was giving myself a mental pep talk to ask him out. It was now or never. If I didn’t ask him now, he’d never know and I’d be ‘that friend of the opposite sex he hung out with’ all my life. I imagined how he’d end up with that girl, and how I would see them together sharing a laugh, and I’d be miserable. Heck, I’d be devastated. I’d probably start hating him, and I couldn’t let that happen.
Sure, he was my best friend, but who says friendship can’t turn into love? Some of the best relationships first begin with friendship, and since we’ve already managed to accomplish the first step, it’d be a great stepping stone to our relationship to come.
Image source: Tumblr
I was building castles in the air. Imagining what it would be to hold his hand, go out on dates, and kiss him. I would have felt complete knowing that I got exactly what I wanted. I would have been happy. I would have been really happy if Mr Oblivious and I got together. But there was just one problem. If I didn’t ask him today, I would never know. I knew one thing though, he’d perhaps never ask me out because he considered me a friend, and he definitely was oblivious to my feelings.
I prepped myself and I knew this could be awkward when I finally did ask him out, but I couldn’t keep living in my fantasies and I wanted to know how I’d feel when he said yes! So I asked anyway.
Looking him in the eye, I started hesitantly. “So, I was thinking… We’ve known each other for a long time now, right?”
“Yeah, it’s been, like, donkey’s years I guess,” he said casually, without even looking at me.
“So… so, I was wondering…”
I stuttered to a stop, with the words clogged in my throat, refusing to come out. I just couldn’t put the words into a coherent sentence. But I tried once more.
“So, I was thinking about how it would be… how it would be to… to, you know… sort of…,” I trailed off.
Damn, it still wasn’t coming out as I had planned. What was happening to me? I couldn’t believe that I was finding it so hard to say it.
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
“Sort of what?” he asked, finally looking at my face.
“Sort of, go out…” And I closed my eyes. Not knowing how to end that sentence. When I opened my eyes, he was staring at me blankly. I immediately continued, and this time, in a hurried tone. “I mean, would you date me?”
There. I had said it.
There was a soundless explosion in my head, and I truly hoped he didn’t hear any of that noise from within my body. My heart was racing like the Formula One cars, one after the other. There was no stopping. It all seemed like a million pieces of a puzzle were now scattered before me, floating in the air around me.
What had I done? What would he say? Did he understand what I said? Did I have to repeat it again? (Oh no!)
He looked at me as though I had asked him for his life. His eyes widened and opened to their full capacity. There was another minute of awkward silence, and when he had finally comprehended what I had asked, he started talking.
“Ah… I didn’t see that coming, man. I mean, yes, we have known each other for the longest time, and I absolutely adore you for being such a good friend to me. There is no other friend I have who is like you…”
He had said that word twice already. Friend.
“…but, I don’t know what to say. You caught me off guard here. You know I cannot imagine anything more between us apart from what we already have. You’re my friend. You’re my bro.”
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Now that it was out there, I felt like a complete idiot. I was friendzoned by a guy. No! This couldn’t be true. How could this happen to me?
He doesn’t think of me ‘in that way’? What does that even mean? What other way is there to think of me? I’ve been by his side forever. Who could probably understand him better than I do? I know him so well, I know when he’s happy, when he’s sad, moody, sullen, excited, ecstatic, or angry. I also now know that he thinks of me as just his friend. I don’t know if that’s better or if I must abandon him for putting me in the friendzone. I mean, how would I face him tomorrow? How awkward would that be? I had put myself out there and asked him out. All he had to say was I was like one of his bros. God!
Suggested read: How to friendzone a guy without hurting him
It would seem so strange to even talk to him. Would he make fun of me for asking him out? Would he tell everybody about it? I’d sure be embarrassed. Hell, I am embarrassed. He turned me down!
Here I was, friendzoned by a guy, feeling more pain than what my periods actually give me! No doubt we are still friends, but he is now dating the other girl. And yes, I feel horrible when I look at them. I don’t like it. Not one bit. I’m angry inside, but there is no point. He doesn’t think of me ‘that way,’ and it’s probably for the better.
I can’t force him to like me or even love me. He loves me as a friend, and for now, that will have to do.
Featured image source: Pinterest
Facebook
Disqus
Google + 
