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12 Essential Tips On How To Be A Gentleman In Modern Times

Whatever happened to the men who wore fancy suits, held doors open, and treated ladies like queens? Where have all these wonderful men of the world gone to? They seemed to have disappeared. The endangered species—the gentlemen, seem to have gotten lost somewhere along the way from the olden days to our modern times.

Famous Hollywood actress Meg Ryan believes that, “chivalry is not dead; I think it’s just got a bad flu.” And I tend to agree with her! I feel that over the years, men have just gotten lazy and have forgotten how to be a gentleman.


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It is hard to come across a true gentleman nowadays—chivalry seems to be pretty much non-existent in the 21st century, which is a major disappointment for the women in this era. Whether she goes for the strong brooding type, the geeky type, or even the bad boys, women still have a whole truckload of expectations from the men they want in their lives, and they usually want them to be a gentleman.

Women love to be taken care of and pampered, and nothing appeals to them more than knowing that a man understands their needs and cares for them unconditionally. This makes them feel special and only a true gentleman can carry out these tasks successfully! A woman, no matter her preference in men, will always be charmed by a gentleman!

Suggested read: How to be chivalrous in the 21st century – the modern day chivalry guide

Yes, it is true that women in today’s world are independent and strong. Despite this empowerment, they still yearn for gentlemanly gestures from their men, and it is the duty of a man to always keep her happy; isn’t it, fellas? So don’t just sit there, do something about it!

How to be a gentleman in the modern era

The time has come to unleash the gentlemen inside you and we are going to show you how with this easy guide to being a gentleman, so pay close attention fellas!

1. Keep your ears open at all times


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Listen to this very carefully: women love to talk! Some can even go on talking for hours at a time. The things they talk about may not be of interest to you. Despite that, listen to what she has to say and never show that you’re bored, instead show her that you’re all ears about whatever it is that she wants to talk about, whether it’s about a new dress or a bad day at work. Listening is the key to being a gentleman, nothing makes a woman happier than knowing you are interested in what she has to say.

2. Keep her safe

Her safety is your number one priority. No matter how tired or busy you are, make sure you take care of her safety either by accompanying her in a cab late at night right to her door step, or walking her home to ensure she reaches safely. This is extremely important nowadays due to the increasing number of crimes taking place against women all over the world.

3. Tardiness is a big no no


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Forget the whole concept of being ‘fashionably late’; never keep a lady waiting! It is considered very rude to do so! Being late is never attractive, it shows your lack of interest and respect for someone else’s time. You can’t just waltz in whenever you please. So keep track of the time, fellas, nobody likes to be kept waiting so keep that in mind and make it a point to be on time (being early is also highly appreciated, and is considered very gentleman-like behavior!).  

4. Don’t break promises

A promise is a very big responsibility to take on; never make them unless you are sure you can stick to it. Always be a man of your word! Always keep your promises, because they hold a lot of value for a woman as she takes your word for it and believes in you. If you break a promise, you’re letting her down big time. Stick to your word and don’t disappoint.

5. Pay up, fellas


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Yes, gender equality is the big agenda item of this century and men often use that to their advantage. Now that women are also making their own money, what’s the harm in letting them pay – that’s the mindset men have these days. But let me give you’ll a reality check, if you take her out, DO NOT make her pay! When the check arrives, reach for it and don’t even think about letting her pay or even splitting the bill. It’s all about the money, honey. Treat her and pay the amount without any expectations in return.

6. Show some initiative

What can be more gentlemanly than taking charge and making your lady love smile at all times? Surprise her with gifts, plan romantic dates and getaways, or even some fun activities to do together. This will earn you major brownie points. Also, when you’re asked which dress, which pair of jeans, or which pair of shoes look better, please have an actual opinion and don’t just say, “They all look the same to me,” or “whatever you like.” Please just don’t do it!

Suggested read: 15 common dating mistakes women make that make or break a relationship

7. Don’t you dare raise those hands!


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Okay, this is a very serious matter, so listen up. No matter what the reason is (whether you’ve had a hard day at work, you’ve had too much to drink, you’re in a bitter mood, you’re very frustrated, or even if you’re having a fight and you’re furious with her), you can NEVER hit a woman! There is just no excuse to justify this action – it is wrong, not to mention against the law, and it completely goes against what being a man is all about. Your job is to protect, not to harm; don’t ever forget that, and never think of striking a woman EVER!

8. Keep the compliments rolling

Men fall in love with their eyes, but women fall in love with their ears. Keeping this in mind, make sure you always tell her how beautiful she looks. Make it a point to give her compliments sincerely and to make her feel special. Make giving compliments your best friend and it will do wonders for you with women—they will simply love you! But empty flattery is a strict no no. Be aware of the two.

9. Learn to keep secrets


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Let her know she can trust you and that you can be the best friend for her who she can always share secrets with. Make her feel that her secrets are safe with you and that you will always keep your word. Let her know you can be trusted to keep her secrets safe no matter what happens.

10. It’s all about the details

Women often feel special when you take care to notice the little things about them. Pay attention to detail, take mental notes. Her likes, her dislikes, her shoe size, her ring size, her favorite color, also take notice of any new haircuts or dresses that she may have gotten and compliment them – let her know you notice and you care. This is something men often miss out on; make sure you start doing this right away!

11. There’s just no room for rudeness


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Don’t be rude, not to her, not to anyone else (waiters, bartenders, her family and friends etc.). Also, don’t lose your temper at her or anyone else, even if you are extremely angry. Calm yourself down – respect her and others around you. Also, stop swearing so much. It isn’t cool; occasionally, under certain circumstances, a curse word is fine but don’t make it a habit. Show consideration for the people around you and don’t go around cursing every five minutes when you’re angry – it is not sexy or gentlemanly!

12. Make her feel special

Go out of your way to show her you care, buying her flowers, leaving her affectionate post-it notes, arranging spa days, paying simple compliments, giving her your jacket when she’s cold, opening doors and pulling out chairs for her, giving her your seat on a crowded bus, and making reservations, are all very much appreciated and always remembered and will take you a long way.

Suggested read: 10 valid reasons why you should NEVER chase a man

The dying breed—the gentlemen can surely be saved now with this simple guide. If you really look at it, it’s not that hard to even execute, this is something that should come instinctively to a man.

People have a misconception of what a man should be. Being a man isn’t just about how strong or successful or brave you are, or how much money you make, it’s about who you are as a person and how you treat others around you, especially the woman in your life and women in general. Treat them with respect, compassion, and care, because it is little things like these that separate the boys from the men. And that’s all we have on how to be a gentleman, and we hope you follow this guide to become a true gentleman, and not just in name only.

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Article Name
12 Essential Tips On How To Be A Gentleman
Many people think that chivalry is dead and that men have forgotten how to be a gentleman. But with effort, you too can be a gentleman in the modern times.
Ria Dutta

Ria Dutta

I fell in love with writing at a very early age, and till today it remains my one true love. It provides me with the luxury to dive into a world of my own where nothing can get to me, not my worries or my sorrows—it’s my escape to a happier place where anything and everything is possible and can be expressed. Back in the land of reality—when I’m not writing, I spend my time hanging out with my friends, watching TV, dancing, and enjoying one among the many gifts God has bestowed upon us—FOOD! Yes, I’m a big-time foodie! After all the happy conversations with my buddies and the dancing and a whole lot of bingeing on yummy food, I love to end the day curled up in bed with a good book.