So your education of a million years has finally paid off, and congratulations, you have a job. Is it cause to celebrate? I don’t know. Frankly, the thought of stepping out of your ‘hood’ (meaning your college if you’re not cool enough to call it your ‘hood’) and stepping into the big bad world of formal clothing and professional courtesy and monotone routine living seems like a lot to handle at one go. However, the jump is something that does happen, and here are some real issues that you may have to come to terms with, in the serious people’s club, a.k.a. the corporate world.
If you already know the *feels* of diving headlong into the corporate world from college, so much so that your head hurts from a million bumps, here’s something you will relate to:
1. Figuring out official abbreviations
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Gone are the days when your vocab was composed of things like LOL, ROFL, IDGAF, BRB, etc. Now you have to get used to official abbreviations like IM, CPC, CPM, EOD, WRT, and more. *shudder*
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2. Learning the art of sucking up
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In order to survive and not get fired, you have to sacrifice all your self-respect and lay on the butter nicely, till your boss thinks you are bearable.
3. Understanding the importance of lunch
One of the things that you will realize when you enter the corporate world is that most of the things in relation to your professional life will be decided over lunch. You will get emails for lunch, random invites for lunch- in fact, you will be having more lunch than you ever did in your entire life.
4. Realizing that lunch does not mean chips
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When I say lunch, I don’t mean your cheap canteen food or a convenient vending machine. You have to get used to spending money on proper places with fancy tablecloths and cutlery.
5. Becoming best friends with your email ID
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Did you even remember what it looked like? Legit everything in life will be conveyed to you via your email now. Time to click on that dreaded ‘forgotten password’ option.
6. Dealing with the adult version of broke
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Everyone is broke in college, but broke enough to not attend a party or two. However, when you are working, you have to choose between paying the rent and eating. Can’t do both, sorry!
7. Getting accustomed to irritating co-workers
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There is this one person who is willing to screw everyone over for a promotion, someone who sleeps their way through their job and still doesn’t get into trouble, some random Jane who is more possessive about her coffee mug and stapler than you are about your life and all their kin stuffed right in your department! FML
8. Realizing your laptop looks like your 9th grade math book
Gone are the days when your laptop was filled with games and pictures and cool apps and love. Nope. Now all will have to see are statistics, pie charts and bar graphs.
9. Getting the hang of office lingo
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If someone says “make sure you drop them a note about the meeting,” you should not write them a cute post-it with a smiley emoji. E-mail is what they mean by a note. This will take a couple of months to get used to.
10. Investing in a whole new wardrobe
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Welcome to the world of blacks and whites and button down shirts.
11. “Savings”
Nope, not for the next comic book but for life and investment and security. This is when you know you’re really adult-ing. Whatever that is- that may take some figuring out too!
12. Lying is not such a bad thing
This is going to be a real struggle for you if you have been a beacon of truth your whole life. But you will gradually get a hang of it- so, when you have to tell your boss that you’re sick when you want to catch a game or tell your colleagues that you are busy when you are not, you will not regret it one bit.
13. Nametag treatment
Corporate world equals loss of identity as a whole person, and becoming a name-tag and job description. Ouch.
14. Screwing up over and over again
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…and no one will have the patience to explain to you a second time around. Even doing the same job every single day takes practice.
15. Getting used to the meeting life
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You have to deal with a handful of serious people, talking about serious things, in a situation where you actually have to pay attention and give your inputs. Also, “I have a meeting” becomes one of the most common things you say out loud to anyone.
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16. Realizing that you had underestimated the simpler pleasures of life
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Those couple of extra hours of sleep that you took for granted, the time to chill with friends, the time to make yourself a decent meal…you will soon realize that college wasn’t so bad after all.
Sorry for getting all emotional on you near the end, but it is an undeniable truth that adjusting to the corporate world, which is the real life equivalent of the Big Bad Wolf, the Wicked Stepmother, etc etc, takes some getting used to… if you are there, sorry!
If you aren’t, brace yourselves- winter..err…corporate world is coming!
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