The honeymoon phase is one of the best parts of a relationship. This is when you think your partner is perfect, that they are near-flawless, that they can’t do anything wrong, that they epitomize everything you’ve ever looked for in a relationship. In essence, the rose-tinted glasses are firmly in place, and you’re blinded by love.
However, once these glasses come off, you start to see their flaws, their small mistakes seem like major transgressions, and you start fighting for no apparent reason. You can get through this in one piece, only if you’re open to compromise and cooperation. You need to realize that nobody is perfect and that there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, however badly you want to think otherwise. That you and your partner are both flawed individuals, who need to come up with a way to work around these flaws.
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But how do you do this? Through an open and honest line of communication. You need to talk things through – talk about what makes you feel bad, what behavior of theirs makes you angry, what you expect from the relationship, etc.,
To have a healthy and mature relationship, you need to follow certain rules, which your common sense will let you know, like, never cheat, never abuse your partner, never look down on them, never bring them down, and never gaslight them. These are quite simple, even though it might take everything you’ve got to follow them.
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However, there are certain other rules in a relationship, that are never spoken about or written anywhere, because they are unspoken rules. These are slightly harder to follow because you need to adhere to them because you want to, not because you have to.
Let’s take a look at the unspoken rules in a relationship.
1. Always say good morning and good night
This might seem trivial, but if you fail to do so, then it just shows your lack of sensitivity towards your partner. Don’t you think it’s nice to wish and be wished by your partner every morning and night? If you and your partner share a different schedule, you could even send a text or an email to them. Or you could even call them. You having to grapple with a busy work schedule isn’t an excuse to show your partner that you care.
2. Tell them about whereabouts
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You don’t need to update them about what you do and where you go every minute of every day, but it’s nice to let your partner know how your day is going, while also asking them about theirs. If you’re too busy during the day, you could even call them before you hit the sack and update them about it.
3. Milestones need to be celebrated
It doesn’t matter if a one-month anniversary or a one-year anniversary of the first time you moved into a new place is coming up, you need to celebrate it. And by celebrate, I mean that the event needs to be acknowledged in some meaningful way. You don’t need to shell out insane amounts of dough for these, just a thoughtful gesture or gift to commemorate your journey so far is enough. It could be a lone candle on a muffin or a quiet but special dinner with a home-cooked meal, you need to put in effort to celebrate it.
4. Communicate as often as possible
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These talks need not be heart-to-hear conversations every single time. They could be something silly or work-related, or even talking about the most recent friends’ night out you had. The point is to have an open and honest communication pattern, that makes it easy to bring up any problem areas.
5. Compliment, but mean it
In your honeymoon phase, you were full of compliments for your partner. What happened now? Don’t you find them attractive anymore? You do, right? So let them know. If you like how his shirt brings out the color of his expressive eyes, tell them so. If you love how the dress hugs her curves and makes her look so sexy to you, let her know. But the thing is, whatever compliment you pay your partner, it needs to be genuine. Don’t do it just for the sake of doing it, like ticking a mark against it in your imaginary checklist.
6. Put a little thought into gifts
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If you buy your partner fur when you know she’s a vegan, you’re screwed. You need to pay attention to the little details when you buy gifts for your partner. Only when you do so will you show how much you really know your partner and how much they mean to you. nonsensical gifts or something you just picked up on a whim, are a surefire way of earning your partner’s wrath and resentment. These little disappointments might grow to become larger issues if it continues in the long run.
7. Never ask for something you’re not willing to give
Any relationship is a two-way street. But if you’re all for taking but there’s no giving on your part, then it spells trouble. The same way, you have the right to ask your partner what you want out of the relationship. However, keep in mind that they too have the same right, and that no matter how hard you try, you both can’t always have everything you want. You need to know that when you ask for something from your partner, you need to willing to return the gesture in kind.
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8. The wooing is constant
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Just because you’re both in a relationship, doesn’t mean you take your partner for granted. You need to woo them every day, just as you did in the beginning of the relationship. Not on that elaborate scale, but a little something that shows that you care and are invested in the relationship.
Although some or all of these rules in a relationship might seem trivial, they are the most common things that couples argue about. These unspoken rules could solidify your bond, but even these fail to do anything, if you’re not honest and open with your partner. So be sure to follow these rules and have a happy relationship!
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