When I think of love and perfection, there is no other couple that comes to my mind before my parents. They have been together for more than 50 years now, which is a milestone in itself. Recently, when we celebrated their anniversary, I asked them about those secret relationship rules that helped them to sustain such a long lasting marriage.

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I soon realized that their rules were quite different and unexpected – having the kind of eye for detail that we often lack in our relationships these days.

1. Start your day with a thoughtful conversation

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This is a ritual that even I’m aware of. Every morning, my parents sit for a few minutes to discuss almost anything. According to them, it helps them calm their senses and let them plan their day at the same time.

2. Avoid technology

Because everything we discuss with our partner these days is either related to a recent social media activity or something about our favorite series. Are we really running out of things to talk about?

3. Get to know your partner’s friends and family

You can’t really spend your life with someone if you are not fond of their loved ones. My parents have this huge circle I absolutely love to hang out with.

4. Learn something from each other

My mom taught my dad how to play the piano while my father is still trying his best to teach my mom how to drive. This is an ongoing process. Every day, I see them learning something from each other.

5. You don’t have to wait for Valentine’s Day to love your partner

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The moment my mom told me that, I realized how underrated love has become these days. Do we really need a day to celebrate love? What about the rest of the year?

6. Laugh a little more when you are together

You will only remember the good times you have spent with your partner. All those moments will soon become memories.

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7. It is all about being equal

I can’t remember a day when my dad took any major decision without consulting my mom. This is how relationships are supposed to be – an affair of equals.

8. Don’t listen to anyone else

Try to create your own world. People might think you two are crazy – don’t listen. Don’t let anyone else control your relationship.

9. Stop comparing your partner to yourself

After a while, you might start comparing your partner, not with someone else, but with yourself. Respect them for who they are. You can’t expect them to act in a customized way.

10. Plan your future, but live in the moment

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Make plans, invest some money, and have kids only when you two are ready – but at the same time, don’t forget to live in the moment. Don’t forget about your present while planning your future.

11. Never hesitate to sacrifice

Chances are that would be asked to make a lot of sacrifices. You can always work around them or choose to dive headlong. Either way, you cannot hold them up as a tally or as a regret. It isn’t healthy for relationships- each decision is a choice and you have to own it.

12. Put an end to your day with a goodnight kiss

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Needless to say, your day is wasted if you don’t end it with a slice of forever.

By the time my parents told me their story and shared some of their best-kept secrets, I was already blown away.

“These days, couples send each other flowers to apologize for their mistakes. We never used to do that. I used to give your mom flowers almost every week. That was a way to showcase my affection, and not a way to apologize for something.”

The moment my dad said this, I realized how things have changed. I certainly need to either go back in time or find someone who is old-school, with whom I can share these amazing relationship rules. What about you? Do you really think the way we love is no longer the same?

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