Are you currently in a relationship that leaves you unhappy and miserable more than often? Does the thought of it itself make you wanna cry out in agony? Here’s how to fall out of love with someone if you cannot see a future with them.
In our lives, we fall in and out of love several times. Occasionally, falling out of love is easy and quite simple, but at other times, it turns out to be a very hard thing to do; and if you are deeply in love, it is almost impossible.
In case you are wondering how to fall out of love, here is every single detail you should be aware of, and a few tips on how to, finally, do it.
The complications of putting an end to a relationship when you are still in love
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Yes, you are madly in love with this person, but you are also aware that there is no light at the end of the tunnel; the darkness shall persist throughout, getting deeper with every step ahead.
What should you do then?
Should you turn about, go back to the starting point and choose a better path?
Suggested read: 13 effective tips on how to forget someone you once loved
Or do you think it is better if you cling on to the strings, though they are digging deep into your flesh, cutting your fingers? If this is your take, I think you are too scared to backpedal and accept that your relationship is a failure, and that it has no future.
Most of us think that walking out of a relationship, however bad, is not our choice. We clutch at the straws of a sad relationship because at least it is safe. And though there is no hope for a rosy future, we can expect some kind of a miracle to transform the bond we share with our partner. No, that does not happen!
Falling out of love is dreadful
Calling off a relationship or breaking up with someone you love is very difficult because of five kinds of fears which haunt us. But if a happy future is what you want, you need to overcome these 5.
1. It is painful
You are still in love with this person. And breaking up with them will hurt a lot. Here are three things that can happen:
- Your partner thinks everything is alright, and you are just overreacting. They might persuade you to give this relationship another try.
- They may be shattered by this decision of yours, and make you feel like a horrible person for breaking up with them.
- They may not be as crazy about you as you are about them. They may be completely okay with your decision of calling it quits, and this really scares you.
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2. It is challenging to pull through
Getting over a breakup becomes all the more difficult if you still care for the person. You need time, and you need to be really strong. You think it is easier to wallow in a relationship that is hurting you a little a day, rather than ripping your heart open by ending it.
3. There is a chance you might feel jealous
Let us face the truth here. Your partner may very well say that they are fine with this breakup. They might just start seeing someone the next day itself! The fact that they moved on without a hint of sorrow… can you come to terms with it?
4. You may regret your decision
You surely did the right thing, but somewhere deep inside you, you may still think that you could have given your S.O. a chance. They might have changed; they might have put in more effort, and loved you better.
5. You might fall back in love with your ex
Repeat after me: There can be nothing worse than being in a relationship where you keep going back and forth in love. That is toxic, and must be avoided at all costs.
Though there are a number of fears (more than the five I have mentioned here), there is only one right thing to do: Fall out of love. If you are in a bad relationship, it does not matter if you are still in love or your partner is a good person. You need to fall out of love for yourself, and for them too.
How to fall out of love with someone a step a time
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Decide whether you are in a bad relationship or not. Once you are convinced, you have to make up your mind about walking out of this relationship for good. I am not promising easy here, but these tips will make it doable for sure.
1. Stay focused about why you think there is no future
Sit with a notebook. Jot down all the reasons that make you feel that your relationship does not have a future. Be as honest as possible. Avoid sugar-coating the problems; it will only serve to make you feel weaker, and your decision that much more difficult.
2. Accept that your relationship needs to end
You cannot coax your bad lover to become a good one. So there is no point staying back. There is no point waiting for a miracle when you already know that the only right thing you can do is to break up with them.
Suggested read: 10 practical tips on how to love yourself the way you are
3. Don’t allow your lover to emotionally blackmail you
Focus your energy and attention on having a great time regardless of who you are with or who you are without. You have every right in the world to be happy no matter how it sounds. Your mate might make you feel guilty about being selfish, but there is a difference between selfishness and self-love. Your partner needs to understand that.
4. Be prepared to face the reality
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Falling out of love will make you feel like you have hit rock bottom. However, that is not the truth. It will be very hard at first, yes. But with time and some positive distractions, you can easily realize how you have saved your future from being a gloomy one; how you have chosen happiness over compulsion.
5. Let your mind wander
Yes, you need to allow your mind to drift. Let it think of other attractive people of the opposite sex (or same sex, depending on your orientation). Appreciate other hotties or cuties, whoever it is that interests you and amuses you. Doing this will let you keep your mind off your relationship and your ex. There is better fish in the sea, my friend!
6. Develop a crush on someone else
You don’t have to start dating right away. But developing a crush on someone or getting infatuated by them will let you spend your time thinking about their quirks rather than mulling over your failed relationship. You need to make it clear to yourself that the relationship did not fail because of you or because of your partner. It did not work out because you both weren’t compatible, and that there just wasn’t a future in it. That’s all!
7. Try not to be too hard on yourself
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Stop longing for a relationship that had no future. Stop craving for a partner who never loved you the way you loved them. Make an effort, a conscious one, to move on. Stop feeling sickly satisfied, or should I say, masochistic, about the miserable days you survived while in that relationship.
8. It is not possible to forget your partner completely
Don’t even try to. On the contrary, learn to deal with the memories. Learn to admit that both of you were never meant to be; that even if you gave it a second try, you would end up exactly at the same place. Try to look for someone else, someone who can be your lover, in the true sense. Find someone who respects you and is compatible with you; someone, who you think, you can start something serious with.
9. Teach yourself how to live without your mate
If you are still in that miserable relationship, and are still struggling about falling out of love with your partner, you need to learn how to live without them first. Go on a getaway with your friends. Meet people you like over lunch. Do things you had stopped doing because you were in a relationship, and because you thought you couldn’t do them without your S.O. You will be filled with joy to find out that, when your partner’s not around you, you feel free and fantastic!
Suggested read: How to get over the one that got away in 5 steps
10. End the toxic relationship
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When you think you are strong enough to do it, just do it. Brace yourself for the plunge you are about to take. Convince yourself that your world should not revolve around your partner, because theirs does not revolve around you. Tell yourself that you are ready to go out alone; you are ready to experience the happiness that awaits you outside this relationship.
End this relationship today; walk out of it, and never look back!
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Featured image source: Dollarphotoclub
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