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In The Long Hours Until April 24th: I’m Drooling Over These Hotties From Game Of Thrones

Every frat bro you have ever known, has babbled to you about how hot Daenerys and Cersei and Sansa are and you ARE SICK OF THAT? So why not rank the male hotties instead, to make your drooling even more rational than theirs! 😉 Here are 30 men who got noticed in the last 5 seasons of Game of Thrones. Find out how they performed on this purely scientific scale of ‘whether I would like you in bed or not’! Based solely on good looks! #SuckThatUp

30. Ramsay Bolton


Image source: Tumblr

A pure nightmare fuel this one and hence at the bottom of the list!

Scale: My V just ‘bolted’ itself!

29. Joffrey Baratheon


Image source: eonline

Yes, we are superficial AF, okay?! But the fact that he too finds himself so low on this list should speak volumes of our moral standards while picking up hotties!

Scale: Knock, knock. She is still shut!

Suggested read: If Game Of Throne characters were on Tinder, their bios would be…

28. Robert Baratheon

He would definitely make for a funny bloke to chug a beer or ten (!) with! However, coz he looked slimy all the time, and I think I even saw bits of beacon jammed in his beard, so… no thanks!

Scale: My b**bs are busy comparing whether his are bigger!

27. Varys


Image source: Tumblr

Witty, sarcastic and cut… Ouch! Lack of sex hormones totally ruined it here!

Scale: No hair and no heir. So you know!

26. Samwell Tarly

Sweetheart points alone, which wouldn’t take him anywhere!

Scale: Grand Maester zoned already!

25. Hodor


Scale: Hodor!

24. Stannis Baratheon

Have you ever realized what an abso-f*cking-lutely amazing message board troll this guy could serve as in another lifetime?!

Scale: My vag just yawned!

23. Petyr ‘BAE’lish


Image source: Giphy

That voice! Attractive? Of COURSE. Creepy AF? Beyond doubt!

Scale: What can one expect from someone who’s dubbed ‘The Little Finger’?!

22. Daario Naharis (Ver. 1.0)

Scale: Who?

21. Theon Greyjoy


Image source: Tumblr

Before the ‘Reek’ thingy happened to him, this guy wasn’t that bad a deal!

Scale: My V reeks that it’s a “no ball”! 😉

20. Bronn

Though a looker, Bronn has very little potential as a boyfriend!

Scale: “But would you still do it?”  “I would ask ‘how much?’” 😉

19. Jaqen H’Ghar


Image source: Tumblr

Though this one changes faces, a girl finds him striking!

Scale: And women complained about handling 2-faced men!

18. Jorah Mormont


Image source: Tumblr

The hottest guy ever to get friend zoned, methinks!

Scale: Get over that borderline stalker crush already!

17. Davos Seaworth

He would definitely have made it higher on this list if he jerked his nose out of Stannis’ *ss!

Scale: No fingers, no cry!

16. Renly Baratheon

Brienne, Margaery and Loras, all crushing over him for a reason, right?!

Scale: Hair, yet no heir! (Ref to no. 27!)

15. Podrick Payne

Hey! The wh*res of Westeros dig this guy!

Scale: The wh*res of Westeros say Hi!

14. Gendry

When is this guy going to come ‘out of the woods’? Taylor Swift didn’t spot him, eh? Coz that would totally explain how he’s getting some action on the other side!

Scale: Hot enough to prepare some oatmeal!

13. Tywin Lannister


Image source: Tumblr

Power was always a major turn on, wasn’t it?

Scale: Hot piece of sh*t. Too literal there!

12. Grey Worm

He landed Missandei! Is there anything else you wanna know?!

Scale: Good combat skills = Good action between the sheets! But oh!

11. Loras Tyrell

No man, woman, or baby (Tommen!) can repel the carnal enticements of the Tyrells!

Scale: Those curls!

10. Tyrion Lannister


Image source: Tumblr

He isn’t the God of tits and wine for no reason!

Scale: Something’s melting somewhere. It surely is!

9. The Hound

Undoubtedly attractive even with that half burnt face!

Scale: Hot minus the continuous justification about how he did not steal his brother’s G.I. Joe!

8. Lancel Lannister

Between being a religious fanatic and getting into his cousin’s pants (intricate gowns, in this case!), you cannot ignore that handsome face.

Scale: Only if you could trust him with your wine!

7. Daario Naharis (Ver. 2.0)  

Scored with Daenerys. What else should I say?!

Scale: ah aah aaaah aaaaaaaah!

6. Ned Stark


Image source: wikia

Let’s get into Stark territory now. Even that head on the pillar looked hot!

Scale: My V says, “How you doin’?”

5. Jon Snow


Image source: Tumblr

The “Kissed by Fire” cave scene made it clear that Snow does know a few things!

Scale: But, why so pretty?

4. Robb Stark

Sugar and Spice and all things nice!

Scale: Too dead!

3. Khal Drogo


Image source: Tumblr

Who the hell starts the most memorable love story with a rape? Well, this guy ‘GoT’ away with that!

Scale: He fathered dragons, dear V!

2. Oberyn Martell

Ridiculously handsome but too dead again!

Scale: That accent alone makes me go oooooh!

1. Jaime Lannister


Image source: Tumblr

Alive and kickin’. This guy is on this list for all the wrong reasons and yet no one’s complaining! A f*cked up life only adds to his charm!

Scale: Love him like a brother! 😉

P.S.: Gregor Clegane is not on the list coz he’s a “mountain” I wouldn’t want to scale! 😉

Featured image source: gotdb

Article Name
I'm Drooling Over The Hotties From Game Of Thrones To Get Me Through The Wait
Because Game Of Thrones has no dearth of hotties we'd allow to rule over our hearts! ;)
Riya Roy

Riya Roy

“If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.” This Isaac Asimov line, embraces my love for writing in the finest and most desperate way that it is and should be! I was tormented by the earnestness of the written word not very early in my journey. But once smitten, it has helped me devour life twice over; savoring the moment and indulging in its memories. As a flâneuse, I wander to understand the intricacies of human relationships. Realizing that, they are just different manifestations of the same feeling of love, has been my greatest learning. I seek to share its opulence through the words I type.