Romance is not only about a bouquet of flowers, a box of chocolates and that first kiss. It’s about being happy throughout! A relationship can be satisfying only when it is healthy, and its health is in your hands. A successful partnership has to be complemented by relationship traits like communication, respect, and ample good relationship habits from both involved. Along the way in a marriage or a companionship, some weeds tend to grow. Yes, I am referring to the bad relationship traits that need to be nipped in the bud. If you are too late, they may grow so strong that uprooting them is plain impossible.
So if you want to make it worth the while, get rid of the following bad relationship habits immediately. You don’t want your love story to take a terrible turn! Here are the 10 most important ones.
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1. Stop being an annoying nag!
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Nagging is a very unattractive quality in a woman, or a man, for that matter! Relationship experts say that we usually nag only when we don’t get what we want. To put it in other words, the wife nags only when she is sick to death of telling her husband to not toss the wet towel on the bed! So, the couple gets into this routine of fighting on something as silly as wet towels and dirty socks! There comes a point when these quarrels take an aggressive twist and you completely forget what your discussion was about in the first place! Now this is among one of the most terrible relationship traits that has the potential of ruining your relationship. To fix this, you need to change your behavior immediately. Realize that nagging will not help. It will only waste your time and yet not deliver the results you desire. Look for a more creative solution, instead of barking up the same tree all the time!
2. The blame game
Monsters-in-law may be hard to handle and difficult to stay with under the same roof, but you have to find a better way to sort out the differences. Focusing on family faults all the time can be very detrimental to your relationship. And if they don’t live with you, you need to bear with some of the criticism which otherwise makes you feel depressed or hostile. It’s just a dinner, dear! Also, your significant other is dealing with your side of the grass too, aren’t they?!
Let me take this as a cue and speak of another trait that needs instant attention, and this is, ‘playing the blame game.’ When there is no family to criticizes, the couples usually have a tendency of accusing each other instead! It is very easy to point a finger at the other when problems arise. But this is a lose-lose situation any way you look at it! In the long run, the quarrels take the shape of ugly fights which involve name-calling and hitting below the belt! So learn to take responsibility for your mistakes from now itself before it is too late and the wounds are too deep to heal!
3. Too much PDA
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Engaging in a constant need to publically display affection can not only make everybody uncomfortable, it may also pay damages for a lack of any real connection. Hand-holding and quick kissies are adorable but please save the rest of the action for the bedroom or may be the cell phone!
Now the other PDA habit also needs to leave the nest! I mean your smartphone! Your manners are bound to fly out the door if you are trapped into your phones! You will be sending business emails at the dinner table, tweeting at the theatre, playing Angry Birds while replying in mono syllables to your partner’s important queries!
Know the difference between the real and the virtual!
4. Not speaking up!
If and when something is wrong, your significant other is not compelled to read your mind! It is not possible also, if you think of it. So speak up. Studies have revealed that couples are far less stressed when they talk their issues out than when they keep their thoughts and feelings bottled up inside them. And please don’t forget to say “I love you” when you feel like it. Just like negative feelings, positive ones also need to be expressed adequately.
5. Staying stuck in a pot hole
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So you find yourself constantly repeating the same mistakes over and over again with your other half, but are unwilling to do anything about it? If this continues, sooner than later, you will find yourself stuck in a rut that’s so boring that it will put your relationship to sleep!
Many of us develop certain patterns in our love life, like making love in the same position or doing the same things every date night. You need to shake it all up once in a while to spruce up your relationship. You can spend some time together volunteering or taking a cooking class, learning a new language, exploring museums, or being plain adventurous and going on a road trip!
Shaking it up will, undoubtedly, take effort but the payoff is reason enough to put in that hard work!
Suggested read: 15 simple tips on how to respect yourself in a relationship
6. The idiot box!
Do you have a threesome every night, which includes you, your lover, and the third wheel: the T.V.?! I know there is nothing as comfortable as getting into your PJs and watching the sitcoms together. But if you start acting like an Old Married Couple so early, things can be terrible! And even after you reach that stage, why in the seven hells, do you have to be boring?!
So the point is don’t get too comfortable with each other. Comfort in a relationship is soon replaced by complacency. The couple tends to risk the spark that brought them together in the first place. If you start behaving like roommates, it might get very tough to find your way back to romantic love.
Chemistry isn’t something that’s always natural. It can take work. Pay attention to what your partner desires. Make your affair a priority even if you are parents now. And most importantly, take care of yourself. If you don’t feel attractive, you can never be sexy to your lover.
7. Keeping score
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Every relationship is about give and take. But that doesn’t mean you keep track of every single detail! It will only cause unnecessary tension. Stop being melodramatic about everything. If your lover forgets to take the garbage out one night, there is nothing to be mad about and certainly, nothing to create a scene for. Just take in a few breaths and talk the problem out!
8. Not showing appreciation
Showing appreciation as a relationship advice may sound very silly, but it is very vital. People just won’t do it. Send a sweet text message or may be go old school by tucking a love letter under his pillow. A single flower in between the pages of the book that they are reading can also speak volumes of your love for them. This year on Valentine’s Day, cook a meal that is your baby’s favorite and serve it to them yourself. Let this year be filled with small, little lovely gestures even if you cannot pay for a grand one.
9. Stop lying!
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Little white lies add up constantly and can ruin your relationship. Relationship traits like honesty and fidelity cannot be compromised for anything. However, there is always a wiggle room where you say that the dinner was lovely, sweetie, even when you don’t mean it. You need to know the balance.
More than being honest with the other, is the trait of being honest with yourself. Stay very real and genuine about your needs, to be satisfied! Only you know if you are happy in the relationship or not.
Suggested read: 20 surefire signs your relationship is moving too fast
10. The teasing habit
Relationship traits like these can go unnoticed in the beginning, but when they do surface, it’s too late. So the bullying is all meant in good fun, eh? You tease her about her height, her sunglasses, her weight, her choice of clothes, her… and the list goes on! After sometime, it is bound to be not funny! It is annoying and demoralizing to say the least. I am not asking you to go cold turkey, but you need to trim this by 40 per cent – at least!
If you continue with this, she is sure to lose her self-confidence, and that is some real damage. Stop making her feel less great than what she is. And cribbing about her choices… You are her choice, remember?
I am sure you have already figured out your New Year’s resolutions. But it is just February, so not that late to include some important resolves, eh? And the healthy relationship traits should not only make it to your list but top them!
The thing about awful or annoying relationship traits is that people don’t generally realize them until a third person steps in and points it out to them. But who really has the heart or the time to do that? Who cares? We do! And we will always.
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