Let’s get ready to laugh and frown a little as we relate to the trumpets of a big elephant in the room we never lend our ears to. Oh yes, these are the texts from your beloved friend that visits you every month and I bet, they’ll make you squeal with their sweet and funny beeps. I hope you have your replies cooked up coz the red ride of horror begins right now!

1. The color code dumped with the wraps!

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Be it the special idea of rocking the party white beauty-style or the sad hour when someone passes away, you can’t talk your way out of it.

Your period: Better put on the red sweetie, or I will *evil smile* (he he he)

2. When you can have a holiday from the holy (Thank the Gods!)

Who knew the cramp-y down-days could turn out to be such a treat!
My period: You don’t need those marble steps to tire you, your legs are already on fire, and that’s the only bell ringing today!

3. What’s cooking is the plan of takeouts or some homemade served hot-n-yummy!

One of the perks of your ‘lady days’ is an enjoyable off from kitchen duties. Well, whatever makes the deal more delicious!
My periods: Hey, you might wanna order some take away, cause it’s going to be curry on the menu from my eatery again!

4. Was it a yes or a later for that sports plan you had?

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While all the extra physical stretches you can get work wonders on the cramps, exercising is a bi*ch!
Your periods: So you were planning to put your training pants on? Huh! Not so fast girl, not today.

5. And you can let the rage out with a pass (Happy PMS-ing I mean!)

Image source: Tumblr

These days are the time when they can run for it at just the sight of you.
Your Periods: It’s time to (over-) react on everything. Let your battle phase out *screams and explosions*

6. Open the sanitary solutions!

Finally, you get to use that what you carry with the confidentiality of a secret agent.
Your period: It’s time to open the package…
You: Roger that!

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Suggested read: 25 code words girls use to refer to their periods

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7. Maybe a paid day-off from work (and definitely if the bossy pants around you are hers!)

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Every lady knows what nightmare working on that first down-day can be and when your boss is a man, he should know better than questioning you for sure.
My period: Hey, just wanted to let you know – I’m calling shots, so you can call it a day if you want.

8. Let’s say hi to your underpants from Friday and Saturday TODAY! (Argh!)

You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?
My period: Layer up! The news flash is that it’s going to drizzle again.

9. No seat too comfortable and no bed too cozy!

Image source: Tumblr

Who doesn’t curse the special days of the month when you have to stay anything but still at all times?
My period: ATTENTION! And that’s an order…

10. Suddenly the words ‘Red Alert’ start making too much sense to you!

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Periods are like a training for battle. The message beeps and you start the drill by staying vigil and shielding up for what’s to come.
My period: It’s RED alert! And off you go.

11. Finally, your chance when 1+1 isn’t going to be 3! (If you know what I mean)

These seven days are the time when you can follow your heart without worries. It’s when the chances of ovulation are at an all-time low. But never underestimate the enemy- wear the armour..I mean, ask him to! 😛
My period: Bed Ho!

12. Is it the good news? Oh No! No, No, NO!

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When you’re waiting for it to rain red with your life to know if you’re going to get the nine months plan or not.
My period: Peek-a-boo! Find me if you can. Cheers!

Bloody b*tch, isn’t she- literally! 😛

Featured image source: look