Girls, I am sorry for letting these secrets out. I know we worked hard enough to come up with creative nicknames as a way to let your girlfriends know that you are on your period while being subtle in front of the boys.
I am really nostalgic about my college days, when my friends and I would come up with all sorts of new phrases to discreetly talk about how terribly ill we felt because of our menstruation pain. Women have always been smart and we love when our creativity gets the better of us.
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Here, I am going to tell you about 25 of the best period nicknames that girls have craftily developed over the years. Girls, you can sit back and giggle at how crazily crafty we have all gotten and maybe add even more names to the list. Guys, I saw that smile on your face that you tried so hard to hide. I appreciate guys who are interested to know the secret codes that girls use. Are you all set to know how conniving we really are? Let the fun begin!
1. I’ve got to take my unpaid leave
Yes, periods call for leave because hello, have you ever tried working when you are literally bleeding? Most of us want to lock ourselves at home and simply eat chocolates and tubs of ice cream, but we are unfortunately not even paid for this leave! God, how could you be so vile?
2. It’s the shark week
This has become a little common and I bet a lot of guys are aware of it as well. We all know the fascination that sharks have for blood and, quite frankly, we bleed the whole damn week. Some days the pain is so immense that we might as well be swimming with bloodthirsty sharks! 😉
3. I’m on a ketchup diet
Yes, ketchup is bloody red. And yes, as much as I love smearing it on my bread, I can’t help but notice the uncanny resemblance of the thick ketchup to my monthly blood scene down below. So yes, darlings, a monthly period is almost like going on a ketchup-only diet.
4. It is flooding down south
This is for the nerdy girls who love to insert their extra intellectuality when naming periods. Though ingeniously subtle, the reference is quite literal once you are clear about its context. There is a lot of blood flooding in the southern part of your body, isn’t it?
5. The full stop is haunting me
Oh boy, we are too smart and yes we are too blunt as well. In terms of punctuation, a full stop means a ‘period.’ This way, we can quite literally talk about periods right under your nose and poor guys, you don’t even know. Period.
6. I am down with the girl flu
We all know what it’s like to get the flu, but when it comes to the girl flu, it has nothing to do with sneezing and coughing. However, God forbid if you sneeze when you are having your regular menstruation cycle – you could make your room look like a murder scene!
7. Oh damn, the leak week is here
Oh dear, we hate the leak week and how terribly long it is. Some of us need to bear the agony for an entire week. So, if you hear your girlfriend whining about the ‘leak week,’ it is a sign that she is on her period and that you better nod to every insane thing she asks you to do.
8. Time to hail the red moon
No, we don’t care about science but we love weird names. When we are bleeding, the moon looks to be stained red too. Bloody blood everywhere!
9. My painting time has come
This is very cheeky, but let us be honest here. Every girl dreads painting the bed sheet, the sofa and what not. We might as well be a little funny about our fears, right?
10. Aunt Flo visited me
This is another common term you will find a lot of girls using. Aunt Flo is one of those wanted aunts who makes her routine visit once a month visit and leaves you with sadness, acne, and a terrible tummy ache!
11. Going to be the battle time
Yes, we do fight a bloody battle and we would love a little appreciation. So, if a girl tells you that she has been waging a battle, it means she is on her period.
12. Tomato soup is boiling
You may not like to have tomato soup ever again after learning that we actually call our periods by the name of this frothy red liquid. You need to feel the pain to know why we come up with such ridiculous names.
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13. I just met Edward Cullen
Oh, we all swoon for him. He is the boy every girl wants to die for. In fact, when we are on our menstrual cycle, we actually feel like we are dying for him. He loved blood and we can give lots of it, for free. Tacky, ew! Oh, blame the hormones. 😛
14. I must hail my hormones
This is quite literal. The hormones peak when we bleed and sometimes we are not in a mood to be too creative. So, here you go!
15. I have killed a lamb
Ever seen someone sacrificing a lamb to please the Gods? The scene is mighty bloody and that is what we feel when we are on our periods. We feel like we are a lamb that had been killed, except we are still live.
16. Take the red honey
Yes, we get obsessed about the color red and we love and hate it at the same time. Nothing looks good anymore and we writhe in pain. In this mood, even honey looks blood red to us—thus the nickname.
17. The river has flooded
Oh boy! You don’t want this river to flood or else it is going to be one heck of an embarrassment for you. We dread the flooding of the river beyond its boundaries, but once in a while it inevitably happens. As a result, we call our periods the flooded river to save the embarrassment that every girl must experience at least once in her life.
18. I am off for my monthly vacation
Yes, I will go on a vacation and it occurs every month. No, you are not supposed to object. Why? Because I am literally bleeding and it bloody hurts! Bless the boss who objects to our regular leave because if you don’t bleed, you don’t know how it feels!
19. It’s TOTM
TOTM stands for ‘time of the month.’ This is an acronym to suggest that it is the dreaded time of the month wherein we would love a lot of chocolates and a massage. Can’t you do this much for us?
20. The murderer is out
Image source: Pinterest
If there is blood, there has to be a murderer. You need not ask who murdered whom? Yes, we are like the dragons that can slay their own body and still emit fire and foul words because we are the ones who are hurt! Hello, don’t dare judge us!
21. I am cutting the cake
This is undoubtedly one of the crappiest period nicknames we use and sometimes when I sit down to blow the candles on my cake, I have to gulp and clean up my thoughts. We use the cake as a reference for the sanitary napkin and yes, it is gross. *Throws up*
22. The pipes have burst
Have you ever really looked at someone who is having a heavy period? Their face shows the pain that they feel. It really does feel like too many pipes have burst and the scene is one mess that we hate to deal with.
23. Revenge mode on
Yes, we believe that periods are a revenge that the uterus takes on us because we denied it the golden pleasure to have a beautiful baby. The worst thing is that this revenge happens every damn month!
24. Today is my birthday
Are you giving me a look? Well, I use this one all the freaking time. I love birthdays and when I am on my periods, I need to comfort myself with happy thoughts. We girls love referring to our periods as birthdays because we can fake happiness after and, in doing so, confuse guys. We love to mess with your head, don’t we?
Suggested read: Looncup – the first smart menstruation cup to make your periods smarter
25. I’m on my period. Period.
As icky as it may sound, a lot of us call periods as periods because it is not something to be ashamed of, right? I know a guy who is very blatant about it and asks me when my period is due. I remember giving him a look the first time that he brought it up, but trust me it is really easy to talk to a guy about your period. Take that extra sympathy, steal one more kiss, and let him pamper you for a week. *Anything for me, honey? Aw, I love you too.*
Which of these period nicknames have you come across? Are you creative enough to add to this list? I’d love to hear them!
Featured image source: Pinterest