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12 Valid Reasons Why It’s Hard To Let Go Of Someone Who Is Bad For You

Someone once told me that I shouldn’t fall in love because it is messy. It is hard. Oh, they were so wrong. Love isn’t hard, but letting go of someone you love is – it is harder than anything you ever have to do. If you are looking for some relationship advice to mend your broken heart, come let me give you a cyber hug first.

Have you ever fallen in love with someone and known that the person is bad for you in the long run? Oh boy, I did and I spent too many nights planning to let go, but the very next day, I slipped back into the same hole, wore the same love-struck robe, marked my own doom by staying in the relationship. Damn you, poets; letting go of relationships isn’t as easy as your rhymes make it sound.

Suggested read: 10 valid reasons why you should NEVER chase a man

If you too are struggling to let go of the perfect image of your flawed partner, I feel you. Here are 12 reasons why letting go of someone you love is so damn hard. Like we say, sometimes knowing the reason is enough to cure the problem. AMEN.

1. The heart refuses to listen

sad woman_New_Love_Times

Image source: Shutterstock

The heart is a treacherous thing. It stays inside you but beats for someone else. Damn you, you little piece of muscle! Why can’t you be a little saner? This heart of yours must already be singing his songs, and no matter how much of a bad influence he is, your heart will still be smeared in love. Makes sense? No. Exactly why the heart is said to be so stupid.

2. Cooking up excuses all the time

When it comes to letting go of someone you love, you will find that your mind will be busy cooking up excuses for the person. Deep in your heart, you do know that the person isn’t good for you, but your bleeding heart, in tandem with your lame mind, will be quick to come up with an excuse like, “Hey, remember the time he stood with you when your world crashed apart? Stay for the sake of that.” Sometimes, I really get the urge to mutter expletives out loud because I feel so bad for how easy I am to convince.

3. You’ve grown used to it

woman thinking_New_Love_Times

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Accept it that you have grown used to the whole idea of being with someone who sucks. You know that you are not on his mind all the time and that sometimes you are probably even his backup option. Despite knowing all of this, you have accepted it as a part of your plan, as a part of your destiny. Why? Because you like being used to it. It doesn’t even appear odd, so how will you let go of it?

4. Creepy clingy alert

I am the diva of clinginess. I can cling to people I love with all my heart, maybe so tight that my own heart chokes from the pressure. I am so invested in the people I love that no matter what they do, I see myself reconciling with it. I can give up everything because isn’t love all about giving and not taking? When you’re clingy level 99, you probably don’t even know what letting go means. The dictionary definition looks ridiculous, doesn’t it?

5. They are indifferent

man sitting idly by while woman is crying_New_Love_Times

Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Some guys who are just not good for you are shrewd and maybe even indifferent. It isn’t like they are unaware of the kind of lethal impact that they have on you. A good guy will never leave someone feeling unwanted. If you feel that you are not really happy in his presence and he still continues to be the way he is, this is a clear sign that he just doesn’t care. The sad news is that you are still succumbing to his charm (or your perception of it) rather than being strong. Sometimes even when we are our strongest, we still end up being a lot weaker than we should be.

6. You trust wholeheartedly

Even now, I just can’t understand if trusting too much is a strength or a weakness. I have come across a lot of people who told me that it sucks to not be comfortable enough to trust. I often look them in the eye and tell them, “You know, it sucks even more to be able to trust so easily and then have it broken.” Regardless of which hurts more, when you trust someone a bit too much for your own good, letting go of another person becomes ten times harder. I know that much.

Suggested read: Why letting go of a relationship isn’t as simple as it seems

7. Hopelessly attracted

woman thinking (40)_New_Love_Times

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

There’s no remedy for this, is there? No matter what you do or how hard you try, you just can’t get the attraction out of your mind. I have tried it too many times, but every time I see him pass by, my heart explodes in a million smiles. He could simply be combing his hair and I get the hots for him. How do you calm down those irrational love hormones of yours? Pass me a cure if you find one.

8. Too many memories

Aw, this one is a little heart-shattering. Sometimes, letting go of someone you love is ridiculously impossible just because there are too many memories between you two. He has left you with so many memories that you can literally sense him wherever you go. Even if you end up going cross-country, you will spot him in a stranger and end up thinking about him. How do we escape it? How?

9. You still believe in the forever he promised

woman thinking (26)_New_Love_Times

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

This one is a big blow. He promised you that your relationship was the real deal, and that yours was one for the history books. You may have exchanged some secret vows too. While he has gone on a new road and forgotten every quote or promise he made, there you sit on your bed, pretending every word he spoke was a promise to be kept till the end of time. Silly, right? Yes, but sometimes the ones who love the most are the ones who hurt the most too. It is a shame how so many guys end up losing someone who would love them till their last breath just because they are so full of themselves. Even as I type this up, I still believe there is a forever waiting to happen because I’m a dreamer.

10. The false hope

Hope is beautiful, but false hope is dangerous. Sometimes you end up living your life in a bubble. You think that there will be a day when every wrong will cease to exist. You have a false hope that his indifference is temporary, and that deep down he truly cares. You have a false hope that your lonely nights will give way to bright days. You have a false hope that every love story ends with a happy ever after. This hope doesn’t let you let go. Sad? Yes.

11. Sometimes…

couple in love_New_Love_Times

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Sometimes, during those rare moments when your lover is actually spending some time with you, you end up forgetting all the reasons I’ve mentioned above. In those *sometimes* moments, all you do is live in the moment because you know this moment will become your refuge. It is sad how we settle for so much less than what we deserve.

Suggested read: Learning to fall in love with breakups

12. Because love

No amount of logic could ever define the realm of love. We know we are stupid, we know we are the only ones who will be hurt; we know he truly doesn’t care, but we love anyway. Quite frankly, love isn’t mathematics. It is not a give and take policy. You love simply because you do. Dare not drop logic into it! And regardless of the what you get out of it, love continues to live on.

Which of these seems to be your reason for not letting go? Still stuck in the relationship that is bad for you? I don’t really know if you can come out of it or how long it will be before you will cave again.

Some answers are best left unsaid. It’s a learning process for all of us!

Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Article Name
12 Reasons Why Letting Go Of Someone You Love, Who Is Bad For You, Is Hard
What if the person you love is bad for you? Why is it so hard letting go of someone you love, who you know is very wrong for you?
Shruti Fatehpuria

Shruti Fatehpuria

I am a misfit software engineer who left her work in the corporate world to pursue the insatiable quest to write. A freelance worker by the day, I choose to dream with eyes open wide. I have conversations with myself where I talk of the possibilities that life can hold. Too many wishes made on empty starless nights ensure that there are various dreams yet to be lived. I am working my way as I am on a quest to find myself. The greatest journeys are indeed the ones that lie within. I am yet to live my story because right now, the book is full of too many apostrophes and too many commas. The words are jumbled until the right one fits the puzzle. I don't believe in perfection because too many times, it is imperfection which paints the perfect story. I am verbose and I aim at living life in full swing until a speed breaker curbs the tantalizing pace with which I wish to conquer the dreams that would otherwise be too big for the not-so-tiny shoes I wear. Blessed with a lot of chubby fat, I love going the extra mile to conquer my extra dreams with an extra advice after all, we all love a little extra. A die-hard shopaholic, you can often find me laughing on serious stuff inappropriately at wrong times (unintentionally).