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10 Real Reasons Why Relationships Are Hard

If you are in a relationship, you must have spent many a sleepless night tossing and turning in your bed thinking about what to do next. Relationships are hard — there is no doubt about that. Even love-struck couples that are dating seemingly perfect partners have seen many troubled days in their paradise. I am not here to scare you or talk you out of love, but I want you to know that relationships take work.

Many people out there have probably told you that relationships are hard, but has anyone ever told you why they are so hard? Maybe if you knew the things that make them such a challenge, you would know why and how to sort out the mess before things gets worse.

Suggested read: 10 common mistakes all women make in a relationship

Here, I am going to give you some of the finest relationship advice to help you out. I know how much it hurts your heart to let go of the person you had once loved, but maybe, it was worth it. Again, this is not a plea asking you to stay away from love. Love is beautiful. However, before you plunge into a relationship, you need to know what you are getting into. Keep reading to find out!

1. EGO. Period.

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Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Egos have probably destroyed more relationships than any other factor. If you really wish for your relationship to last, it’s best to keep your ego outside the equation. Granted, this is a two-way street, because if you subdue your ego while your partner dominates with theirs, things are going to go downhill, fast. So, you should focus on ways in which you can kill your ego without becoming submissive to theirs, thus making the relationship mutually beneficial. Trust me, if you can do this, half the battle will be won.

2. Because we all change

Think of the person you were a couple of years ago. Not only have you changed the way you look (at least a little), but your thoughts, ideas, goals, and fears must have developed a great deal too. It is human for people to change over time; the million-dollar question is whether your love is strong enough to endure these inevitable changes. Maybe, the things that you found cute at one point in time will repulse you later on. In such cases, are you even aware of the kind of impact these changes can have on your relationship? Before you take the plunge, ask yourself if you will still love your partner even after they become a completely new person. After all, change is the only constant.

3. Flaws and faults

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Image source: Shutterstock

When you have just fallen in love, you tend to be blind. You may be willing to ignore every single flaw in your partner because you are just too busy singing love songs. However, when you take your relationship forward, you may find yourself then questioning the same flaws. So, if you want to know why relationships are hard, a big reason is that the more you get to know a person, the clearer you can see their faults. At that point, your heart might not love them the way it used to. Problem? Yep.

4. Haste makes waste

How many of us are guilty of taking things a bit too fast? Why are you always running to be in a relationship? So what if you are 25 and still have to a date a lot of frogs before your prince(ss) comes along? It was never supposed to be about time. A romantic decision taken in haste often ends up leaving you in a pool of regrets. You need to give yourself time to analyze how you truly feel. Never date someone just because you feel like it. Relationships need a certain level of commitment and you need to be sure that you feel deeply for a person before making that kind of move.

5. The hurt heart

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Image source: Shutterstock

Once you have your heart broken, the scars are sure to stay. You need to know that not every heart will heal. When you are in a relationship with someone, you are actually giving them the power to break you, all the while hoping that they won’t. However, a lot of relationships fail because people do end up hurting each other. If you really want your love life to work out, you will need to let go of the belief that they are never going to hurt you. You should avoid any major showdown wherein you hurt each other’s feelings because a deep enough wound may scar the relationship forever.

Suggested read: 10 things every man should know before committing in a relationship

6. Different people, different ideas

When you are seeing someone, you will actually be shuffling your whole friend group. There isn’t just one person you need to deal with. Your partner’s family, their friends and relatives are all people that you will often find yourself interacting with. So, in such cases, you need to analyze if you are willing to integrate into the rest of the clan. I know it is hard to decide all of this instantly, which is why you should take things slowly. Gauge the social circle of a person and see the crowd that they hang out with.

7. The conflicting schedules

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Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

It can be mentally draining and physically exhausting to try to juggle different schedules. When you are free and trying to spend some romantic time, your partner may be locked in their cubicle handling the commitments of professional life. This sucks and can sometimes make a relationship impossible to carry on. Up for the struggle?

8. The insecurity complex

How on earth do people handle the insecurity debacle? There are so many people out there who often face the troubles of insecurity. You may find people who try too hard to be confident, but that can’t help and suspect that their partner is losing interest. Insecurity breeds doubts, and will leave you asking yourself questions like, why is he in love with me? Does she even have a reason? Is her love sincere? What does he see in me? Yes, the insecurity complex haunts almost everyone, and this factor alone can kill a beautiful relationship.

9. The boredom barrier

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Image source: Shutterstock

Among all other things, sometimes people just grow out of people. You may never see it coming, but even after dating someone for two years, you may just wake up one day and feel absolutely nothing for the same person that you had once loved fiercely. Time has a way of messing things up and you may be bored of the same partner who once put stars in your eyes. This human psychology can be a baffling barrier. Do you really think your love is strong enough to endure the test of time? If you have nodded yes, you should go ahead and embrace it.

Suggested read: 15 reasons why marrying young is the absolute worst thing you can do to yourself

10. Because you’re a free bird

Lastly, relationships are hard because in our heart, we all wish to live out our dreams with no strings attached. While in love, you often need to settle down and give up certain liberties for your newfound commitments. If you are not willing to give up the freedom that a single life carries, then maybe it is not the right time to commit to a relationship.

Having said all of this, there is no way you should ignore the true beauty of love. Love can last for a lifetime, but in the end, both the partners need to make it work. You should never expect to have a flawless relationship because it is natural to argue and fight.

Have some tips to share with us? Agree/disagree with us? Whatever your views, please enlighten us in the comments below. After all, we can all use a little relationship advice to patch up our bruised hearts, can’t we?

Featured image source: Shutterstock

Article Name
10 Real Reasons Why Relationships Are Hard
Relationships are hard. But why are they hard? Here are 10 enlightening reasons why relationships take so much work.
Shruti Fatehpuria

Shruti Fatehpuria

I am a misfit software engineer who left her work in the corporate world to pursue the insatiable quest to write. A freelance worker by the day, I choose to dream with eyes open wide. I have conversations with myself where I talk of the possibilities that life can hold. Too many wishes made on empty starless nights ensure that there are various dreams yet to be lived. I am working my way as I am on a quest to find myself. The greatest journeys are indeed the ones that lie within. I am yet to live my story because right now, the book is full of too many apostrophes and too many commas. The words are jumbled until the right one fits the puzzle. I don't believe in perfection because too many times, it is imperfection which paints the perfect story. I am verbose and I aim at living life in full swing until a speed breaker curbs the tantalizing pace with which I wish to conquer the dreams that would otherwise be too big for the not-so-tiny shoes I wear. Blessed with a lot of chubby fat, I love going the extra mile to conquer my extra dreams with an extra advice after all, we all love a little extra. A die-hard shopaholic, you can often find me laughing on serious stuff inappropriately at wrong times (unintentionally).