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35 Brutal Truths About Being A Good Wife

“Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.” – Kin Hubbard

A man considers himself lucky if he has a good wife, and hopefully not just as a substitute for home remedies! But being a good wife isn’t as easy as it sounds, and requires a lot of work; in fact, a good husband is necessary for a good wife! However, in every marriage, there are some brutal truths about being a good wife that every wife or wife-to-be out there needs to know!


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Suggested read: 20 things to expect in the first year of marriage

35 brutal truths about being a good wife

1. The honeymoon is a limited time offer

couple on their honeymoon

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You were crazy about each other and had a beautiful fairy tale wedding, followed by a passion-filled honeymoon. But if you were expecting the same sequence to continue, you’ll find that your limited time offer just expired and real life awaits. The sooner you accept this truth, the less disappointed you’ll be later!

2. Farting is just the beginning

You’ve probably heard about men farting all the time or about the whole toilet seat conundrum, and thought that you had it all figured out. However, that’s just the beginning! There’s also knuckle cracking, crotch scratching, snoring, nose picking, ear picking… you get the picture, don’t you? It probably sounds gross in here, but you get used to it and barely notice them after a while!

3. Marriage is a LOT of work

couple talking

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You’ve read that marriage is work, but it takes a period of married life to realize the brutal truth that the effort required is by no means small! A large part of being a good wife is not taking your marriage for granted and taking actionable steps to keep the relationship thriving.

4. ‘Dry’ spells are more common than you think

couple in bed10

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When you’re married, people think you have loads of sex, simply because it’s easily accessible. However, now that you’re a wife, you know better! But dry spells aren’t necessarily a bad thing, as long as you’re not withholding it on purpose.

5. You suddenly discover that he isn’t as handsome as you thought

Yes, brutal truth of marriage – you won’t always find your husband as attractive as you thought in the beginning. And that’s perfectly normal. For starters, he’s probably more relaxed around you, so it’s no big deal.

6. You suddenly discover that he’s cuter than you thought

Why are we being so contrary? Well, while on the one hand you don’t find your husband good looking, at other times, you notice something particularly endearing about him, and he suddenly turns into the most beautiful person on the earth for you. It’s moments like these that keep binding you to each other!

7. Dogs are easier to train

dog with woman

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Yes, we know that equating husbands to dogs is hardly the mark of a good wife, but let’s face it, a terrier would know better than to throw a wet towel on the bed! Men can build rockets and learn all the complicated control sequences, but they can’t load a washing machine!

8. You will wonder if he prefers his pals over you

Yes, men can be very attached to their pals and sports; so much that they seem to take precedence over you. But being a good wife is also about being secure about yourself. Let him have fun with the boys; he’ll eventually miss his wife and come back to you at the end of the day!

9. You realize most marriage advice is nonsense

In an effort to be the ‘perfect wife,’ many women take all the marriage advice they get very seriously. But in a short time, you soon learn that most of what you hear is utter nonsense, and no one set of rules applies to all couples.

Suggested read: 10 rules you need to break to have a happy marriage

10. You’ll realize that at times, silence is golden

couple in love

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Being a good wife does not translate into 100% honesty; in fact you’ll find that it works much better for everyone involved when you just hold it in! Just be sure you’re not withholding information he deserves to know.

11.  Sometimes it feels like you’re talking to a wall

When you’re a wife, you can’t help but wonder if your husband is listening. Here’s the answer – he most probably isn’t! But don’t worry, it’s quite likely that he picks up on the important stuff (important to him anyway), and nods and hums to the rest of what you say.

12. Sometimes you’re both right

Yes, it’s possible that both of you are just looking at different sides of the same situation. Just think of the story of the blind men and the elephant, and you’ll see what we’re talking about.

13. Surprisingly, flirting still works

woman flirting

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Most tips on how to have a good marriage suggest date nights and weekend getaways, but for those strapped for time, flirting works just as well! You’ll be surprised at how one flirty text from your husband can keep your mood perked up the whole day!

14. You get used to him walking around in his underwear

In some cases, make that ‘less than underwear.’ It can be shocking the first time round, but you soon get used to it, (even if you can’t bring yourself to do the same). It’s just an indication of how comfortable and relaxed he feels around you, so don’t panic.

15. You begin to understand why couples split over paint colors

couple disagreement

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You also aren’t as shocked when you read about wives murdering their husbands! Don’t worry, it doesn’t make you a bad wife, just a human one. When two people live in such close quarters for a prolonged period of time, they’re bound to squabble over the silliest matters – be it the color of the walls or the money you want to spend furnishing the house.

16. You will wonder how on earth you got married

couple arguing

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Yes, there will be those days too when you wonder how the two of you could have ever gotten together, considering how different you are. Just remember that every marriage has days from 1 to 10, and you’re probably having one around an 8 today.

17. You will occasionally feel like banging a saucepan on his head

Or a frying pan, whatever your choice of weapon may be! Yes, you love him with all your heart and would do anything for him, but sometimes, just sometimes, he can drive you up the wall with that incessant snorting!

18. You can’t stand it when someone else criticizes him

However irritated you may feel about your husband’s annoying habits, heaven forbid someone else talks about it to you! He’s yours and no one else gets to get bugged; now that’s being a good wife!

19. Kids can be unbelievably stressful to your marriage

couple fighting in front of their kid

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People who said that ‘kids make your marriage stronger’ probably had a point – parenting is so stressful that if you come out successful, then your marriage has proven its mettle! It’s important to be in touch with your husband even with kids around; it’s the only way to avoid killing each other!

20. Your love will have different levels

Before becoming a wife, love was probably a one dimensional word, but now you know that it has many levels, which ebb and flow as each day comes and goes. It is one of the truths of marriage that love changes over time, as a more mellow love replaces lustful passion of the honeymoon phase.

Suggested read: Here’s how to build intimacy in your marriage – follow these 10 steps

21. He brings out aspects of your personality you didn’t know about

Marriage is also a test of fire; it brings out your real personality to the fore! Whatever you thought about yourself earlier, being a wife can bring out new facets of your personality, some of which you may not like!

22. There are many ways to say I love you

man cooking for a woman

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Movies show us husbands who generously give out ‘I love yous’ to their wives, but a brutal truth is that reel marriages rarely resemble real ones! However, he probably does show his love for you in other ways – filling up your car with gas, making you tea, picking up your dry cleaning – you get the drift!

23. You find that he can be surprisingly insecure

Ah, men; and they call women complicated creatures! For all his masculinity, your husband is likely to be quite insecure, and if he senses a threat (a more handsome co-worker, a dashing new neighbor), he can act like a sulking little boy!

24. You find that things don’t feel the same without him

When the husband goes out of town for the weekend, it might sound like good news initially – less cooking and laundry! But you soon realize that for all his annoying habits, it just doesn’t feel the same without him!

25. Birthdays and anniversaries require frequent reminders

man bringing a woman breakfast in bed

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If you’re expecting red roses and breakfast in bed on your anniversary and a surprise getaway on your birthday, you’d better forget about it (unless you plan it yourself). Most men are terrible at remembering dates, so just be a sport and tell him in clear words what you want!

26. Food works when nothing else does

While the way to every man’s heart is not through his stomach, food does work in several situations. It probably sounds shallow and anti-feminist, but it’s a brutal truth – men can’t resist a good meal that pleases all the senses!

Suggested Read: Why the possibility of finding the perfect partner is remote

27. The smallest things can trigger a hurricane

And you wonder how the battle of Troy began!! When you’re married, no reason is too small to start a fight! While that can’t be helped, you can at least keep matters from escalating. After all, among what makes a good marriage, compromise is among the main factors!

28. You learn that he isn’t the answer to all your problems

couple kissing

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This one is for those who expect a knight in shining armor to come and fix everything. You soon realize that this concept is just a fantasy, and that you need to solve your problems yourself, without laying the burden on your husband.

29. Going to bed angry is actually better

Remember where we said that most marriage advice was nonsense? Not going to bed angry features at the top of the list! Going to bed angry is better since you feel more rested in the morning and have a clearer view of the situation.

30. He will be crazy possessive about his chair

You’ve probably heard of men needing to ‘fire gaze’ at the end of the day to recharge and unwind. For this, they usually have a favorite spot and they’ll not share this with anyone – not even you, sorry!

31. You’ll tune him out at times

couple talking3

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We’ve said that men often don’t listen to their wives, but there are times when you’ll tune him out as well; especially if you’re wondering what to wear to the next party or if your casserole will be cooked in time for Grey’s Anatomy.

32. You get annoyed when he watches a movie or TV show without you

Speaking of Grey’s Anatomy, when you’re watching a TV series together, catching an episode without him is tantamount to cheating on him with the TV. Same thing goes for movies, so if you do watch one without him, just watch it again, this time with him!

Suggested read: All you need to know about having a good marriage

33. You’ll discover you can be pretty sneaky


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No one likes to think of themselves as manipulative, but being a good wife doesn’t exclude a certain amount of sneakiness. After a while, you discover that being sneaky saves a lot of trouble and ill feelings but gets the job done!

34. You may appear annoying to single friends

When you’ve been a wife for a while, you begin to complete each other’s sentences and probably have your own code of non-verbal communication, which may appear weird and nauseating to your single friends, or even some married ones.

35. You can’t imagine life without him

For all the brutal truths about being a good wife, there is one truth that stands above everything else – the fact that you couldn’t imagine a life without him – annoying quirks and all!

Being a good wife is not supposed to be easy, and neither is being a good husband. But the more aware one is of the realities of marriage, the sooner they can let go of illusions and fantasies and be better prepared for married life. When worked for and nurtured, a marriage is a truly beautiful relationship that can result in lasting happiness and fulfillment.

Featured image source:Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Article Name
35 Brutal Truths About Being A Good Wife
Marriage isn't easy, and comes with its own set of challenges! Here are some brutal truths to know about being a good wife.
Fabida Abdulla

Fabida Abdulla

Fabida is an erstwhile Software Engineer and current Freelance Writer cum stay-at-home mom to her boisterous 6-year-old. In between all the writing, baking, nagging, reading, and cuddling, she manages to blog a bit about her crazy life at Shocks and Shoes. []