Mommy confession 1: As much as I’d like to be a member of the ‘Nah, she’s too young to be dating’ –mommy-club for as long as I possibly can, I know that the day my husband swears he is going to get that shotgun collection (because he is 200% confident the young ‘dudes’ are ‘playas’) is just around the corner! Oh, don’t worry- he can’t even kill a mosquito- let alone a daughter’s boyfriend- jerk or otherwise! It is just plain-daddy-instinct!
Mommy confession 2: I know that day will come- when she will walk in that door, all excited because that cute boy from class has asked her out on her first-ever real date! And even though I will be bothered beyond belief, I promise I will sit and figure it out (let her set the ground rules et al with her) first and pace up and down my room and freak out later!
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But before that day arrives and I either fall into the ‘coolest mom eva’ momtastic club or become the permanent receiver of ‘mom, loosen up, k’ rejoinders, I would like to tell my daughter and all mommies with daughters a few things.
One, it’s true- I do worry about the time when my three-year-old daughter who I laid out newborn clothes to princess frocks to crisp uniforms (ahh, the navy jumper and polo laced socks and the bow with rhinestone) for shall outgrow ‘I wov you, mamma-s’ to an ‘I love you’ that might come in when she needs a repeal from her curfew or maybe, my prom dress! And I do worry about the boys she’d want to impress. Coz she doesn’t have to!
And while I think I will be doing everything in my capacity to become the ‘mom she can always talk to- no matter what’ whilst also keeping my dearest hubby from investing in shotguns (although I don’t think I can keep him off the grueling series of interviews for the boyfriends :P), there are a few lessons I’d like to teach her about dating and relationships that shall slip up if I announce them verbatim.
Suggested read: A letter to my daughter on starting a new life
Which, then, brings me to my second point- while some of these lessons shall come in the form of my own life stories – my several ‘crushes,’ ‘heartbreaks,’ and more in my journey from Mr. Right-Now-s to Mr. Right- her daddy dearest- most others shall come from movies I want my daughter to watch. I remember her kicking in the womb when her daddy and I had been to the movies- sitting in the dark, being led away on someone else’s journey that may as well have been our own! And lo- half my battle is won- coz I’d lay out the movies I want my daughter to watch on an inviting Saturday night platter with a warm fire burning in the hearth, a cozy blanket, a delicious spread of her favorite food and Coke- and hog she will!
And for all you mommies out there, perhaps, you should do well to make a note of these movies I want my daughter to watch too:
This one has so many lessons, which is why it tops my list. Friends first, little things that matter, being a team to bring alive dreams, loving in the face of loss and disappointment, and so much more! I cried bucketfuls watching this one and learnt so much. I hope my darla does too!
This is the one movie where the protagonists offer each other something so much more meaningful and purposive- whilst never sleeping with each other or even ending up together! Well, that might be something I’d like my daughter to remember about the bond between men and women!
3. Save The Last Dance
Because when love challenges you to be the best version of yourself, it is the truest form there could ever be! That’s what every mom wants for her daughter!
Suggested read: A letter to my daughter, from a father
4. When Harry Met Sally
Coz all meaningful relationships have friendship at the core. Like the one you have with mommy, dear!
5. My Big Fat Greek Wedding
This one, perhaps, doesn’t have to come in until much later but she has to remember that when you marry, you marry a family. Quirks and all. You’d already know by then hon, coz, well, your dad would be interviewing every guy you bring in through that door!
6. The 40 Year-Old Virgin
Yeah, as cool a mommy that I can be, I am still a mommy- so I might have to put my foot down and be un-fun sometimes! So when my little darla is juggling school schedules with pre-prom excitement, the not-yet-fully-cooked teen brain and not to mention the stir of hormones, fledgling independence and a li’l bit of rebellion, it would bode her well to remember that it is absolutely okay to wait- as sex isn’t the be-all and end-all of a relationship!
7. Before Sunrise trilogy
For a more mature daughter, but my daughter nonetheless, I’d like her to know that love isn’t really always the dream fairy tale we know it as. And sometimes, just sometimes, it is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all!
Suggested read: Relationship advice from a father to a daughter
8. The Bridges Of Madison County
Coz you don’t settle- or hand out discounts on your worth. You are too precious for that! Follow your heart!
But most of all- be yourself, hon! Mamma’s right here for you!
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