People in URL versus IRL (In Real Life)!
Yeah, we don’t Tinder to ‘Bumble’ upon someone, which will be the ‘Hinge’ of our lives!
If online dating is supposed to eventually lead to offline dating (which it almost never does!), why not cut the crap and get offline in the first place? If I were to date on Tinder, your shoddy grammar would be stored in the chat history, which would make it impossible for me to forget your stupidity every time you send me a new text. Also I’d be so skeptical of your emotions: When you LOL, do you really laugh out that loud? When you ROFL, you keep texting… so how do you text while you roll around on the floor laughing?! Too ‘unreal’ for us, brah! And unreal ain’t good when you are looking for ‘true’ love!
Image source: Tinder
If this sounds like your love life, read on to find out how I see dating on Tinder vs. dating in the real world.
*Meanwhile on Tinder*
Mr. Darcy: “I love you. Most ardently. Please do me the honour of accepting my request!”
Elizabeth Bennett just blocked you!
Well, whoever said that the purpose of language was to woo women!
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See, she blocked him because he seemed “too pretentious.” But that’s the whole point of dating on Tinder, right? You never achieve the genuineness of a real world interaction, especially in the tête-à-tête between two people who have just met! The dating app Tinder will never completely capture who you are. You could be a jerk who seems like a score or an ideal companion who appeared ‘Beast’ly, and so the Beauty swiped left and lost you forever!
Dating on Tinder is like a game—and a tough one! Most users fall for the temptation to tip the odds in their favor by presenting a completely different version of themselves. Well, this is not the same as Bruce Wayne and Batman or Clark Kent and Superman! We aren’t talking alter egos here—actually, just egos! The biggest trouble of online dating is the promise of meeting a genuine person! The pictures are filtered, the descriptions are edited… Yes, in real life we also have people wearing masks, but you can peel those disguises back a meeting at a time.
Image source: Tinder
In online dating, the person on the other side of the screen always remains a stranger. It does not matter how many telephone conversations you have had or how many emails have been exchanged. Meeting someone face to face has thrills that dating on Tinder can never offer! How do you know how they walk, where their hands are when they are talking to you (!), how they smell…? The beautiful details are missing! And when it comes to dating, like all the other important things in life, “the small things are the big things!”
Whether you will be pinged or not depends mostly (read 99 per cent) on the picture you have chosen for yourself, which you believe will speak a thousand words! Well, it does! It gets you started. But what happens when you finally meet the person? Don’t tag me superficial. I am not talking about the looks, but instead about the lie!
Image source: Tinder
Suggested read: 11 types of guys you tend to meet on dating apps
When we date offline, we already know how a person looks and the fact that we are still dating means we don’t care about it much. But once we’ve been offered Phil and get Alan … ouch! I don’t understand the purpose of a display picture that doesn’t even resemble you! It is awful when a person you have been dating on Tinder for a month or two meets you for the first time and walks out on you because of the difference between you and your profile pic! Now, how’s that for superficial?!
Once, my friend shared with his views me on dating profile pictures, which I found very interesting. According to him, these pictures are like advertisements. You are basically trying to sell yourself. So you have to consider your market. You have to decide what you are looking for (would love be a lame answer?!). The same is true for your description. If you are a funny guy, then OKCupid is your site because it lets you flaunt your funny bones like the tail of some Oscar Wilde-worshipping peacock! However, this guy would not fare well on the dating app Tinder because that’s more about hookups.
And you thought online dating made things simpler!
Another thing about dating on Tinder that pisses me off is when people state in their profile that they are younger than their real age. And not just a year or two, but at least a decade!! Does age even matter?! It only does when you lie about it! If you don’t begin with honesty in the smallest details about yourself, how am I to trust you when it comes to bigger and deeper issues?
Image source: cogxio
I am about to tell you something you are already aware of: dating is a pain in the butt! It is a frustrating process, one that involves countless trials and errors! Dating makes us wonder what’s wrong with us while everyone seems to have it quite easy! Dating on Tinder was introduced as a solution to this dating disappointment. You could screen your dates well in advance. Just surf through the profiles and choose the ones who meet your standards, and voila! We are ready to craft the most perfect love story history has ever witnessed.
Sadly, in practice… the story is quite different! While you think online dating is a number game and there are more fish in this sea helping you multi-date, there is a flip side to it too! Multi-rejections! There are many folks who treat dating on Tinder like talking to random people in a bar: flirting with hordes at the same time is a super faux-pas that will leave you paying too many bills.
Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
Usually, we hear guys complaining about how online dating is too frustrating because the conversations begin real strong but suddenly they fade out! Those really long emails tend to get shorter and shorter… until you find yourselves exchanging one-liners. By then, the joke’s on you, buddy! So you are left speculating for the rest of your life about what went wrong, whether you should drop something in their inbox or leave them alone. Most of the time this is what happens because the guy gets so caught up in impressing the lass with his digital etiquette that he forgets to ask her out… for real!
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The longer you drag your conversation on over email, especially when dating on Tinder, the more momentum you are losing! Remember the concept about more fish in the sea that I just told you about? That applies here too. They are more likely to go on and have babies with someone who asked them first because you are not the only guy they’re chatting with! If you don’t see each other in person, this is not going anywhere. You have to move up, what we call, ‘the communication intimacy ladder.’ When you have had around four quality email conversations, it’s time you set a date. I am not asking you to move on to instant messaging, mind you. You are looking for a date, not a pen pal! Simultaneously, you need to understand that sometimes some friendships never go anywhere. If you are not receiving a response, that is a response too! Or maybe their wi-fi’s not working, which could nip your love story in the bud. See why I hate online dating?!!!
The lost art of dating offline
Image source: Shutterstock
In today’s Tinder dating world, people find it easier to choose an emoticon to display their emotions than to actually feel them! Being on social media is the farthest you can be from being social! That way, you have no idea how it feels like asking someone out on a date (in person); what your heart goes through when you are sitting across the table and watching your date talk while all you can think of is how cutely her nose wrinkles up when she laughs; the butterflies that jive in your tummy when your hands accidentally touch; the now or never moment when you have reached her doorstep to drop her and want to kiss her very badly but… her dad opens the door! Thrilling, eh? Well, what’s a game if you feel no adrenaline rush?
Featured image source: Tinder