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Starting Over Is Tough, But It Is The Best Gift You Could Give Yourself

There are times when one wishes they could wipe their slates clean and start over. Such second chances come very rarely, and if and when you get one, make sure you use it wisely.

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To do it right, one needs to learn how to start over. But can something like that be learned? Yes, it can.

We cannot erase our past, but why focus on the past when you have a present to look after? To make sure the new you does not make the same mistakes, you need to attend to the way ahead and stop looking behind.

Suggested read:  9 Innovative Ways Of Starting Over When You Are Growing Apart In A Relationship

I am trying to sell you an idea, yes, but give this post a chance, and I guarantee that it will be easier for you to start over. And when I say start over, I don’t mean from the beginning. I mean, from where you are right now. J

How to start over again

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When I was in school, I would constantly tell my mom that it would be great if I could go and live in a city/country where no one knew me. I thought it would be such a great chance to start over; to wipe the slate clean, and begin writing a new story on it. When the time actually came and I moved to a new city for college, it wasn’t as exciting as I thought it would be. It was dreadful, to be honest. Change scares the hell out of us. That’s just the way it is.

So when it was time for me to put my plans of starting over into action, I struggled hard and slyly tried to stay put where I was mentally because the pains and mistakes of the past were known enemies, and known enemies are better than unfamiliar opportunities, right?

But slowly, with time I realized that what needed to be done, had to be done. I knew I wanted to live my life a particular way, a life on my own terms, a life that allows me to make mistakes, provided I learnt from them. One thing I have always dreaded is a life of regrets. “What ifs” chill me to my bones! So I gathered myself together and pledged that I am starting over and I am going to do it my way.

That was my story, but it does not have to be the same way for you. I need to move to a new place for a new start. That is not an essential requirement when it comes to starting over. One thing that you need to keep in mind, though, is that it is going to be damn hard. It will punch you in the stomach and challenge you to get up so that it can punch you harder, which it will. Take the punches, because at the end of that you emerge as a strong person, the person who you have always wanted to be.

Here are a few tips on how to start over. I hope these will help you in your journey.

1. Understand yourself and your past

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Before you take the plunge and start over, you need to reflect on your life. You need to understand how and why you are who are. Looking at your past, will help you know why you want to begin afresh. This why is important because this acts as the motivational force on days when you feel like slipping back to your old ways.

Put a pen to paper. Analyze yourself and your life, both objectively and subjectively. This is going to be tough. You will tend to get angry, tend to cry and also laugh in awkwardness of the things that you have done. Don’t let these emotions stop you. Acknowledge them. Now write why you what it is that you want to change about yourself and why.

2. Accept the past, and forgive yourself

Each one of us has a few skeletons in their cupboards, and most of us, regret those decisions we made and some of the things we did in the past. You cannot rewind and change those decisions and actions, but what you can do is accept those mistakes as a part of growing up and learning. We are humans, and we make mistakes. Don’t keep beating yourself up about what has happened. That is a complete waste of time; an exercise which is futile, which you will regret in the future!

Once you accept your mistakes, forgive yourself. Forgiving is a difficult thing to do, especially when it is forgiving one’s own self. But make an effort, and work on changing yourself so that you do not repeat those mistakes.

3. Quitting is not an option

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Life is not a friend on Facebook who can be blocked, right? If it was that way, I would be the first person to block life! So quitting is not a solution. What is the answer then? Changing. Change your ways. Identify the things that you are not happy with, things that are stopping you from starting over, and bring solid changes. It could be a person, an object, a place or your way of going about things, whatever it is, you need to change them and remove yourself from them.

4. Put some serious thought into who you want to be

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Who do you see yourself as after two years? What qualities does this person possess? What does he or she do? Give this some thought. Put it down on a piece of paper.

Now, you need to come up with a road map. This map starts from where you are now and ends where you want to be in the next two years. Jot down how you are going to reach your destination. What are the possible road blocks? How are you going to cross them? Write it down.

Suggested read: The Lost Art Of Starting Over In A Failing Relationship

5. Come up with some mini goals

While your one major goal remains starting over, you need to come up with some mini goals that will help you achieve your major goal. Also this small goals will keep you motivated and you will know that you are on track. These goals will also help you challenge yourself and be better.

6. Make changes

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Thinking and talking about changes is really romantic, but actually making them is different ball game. Once you have made the plan, you need to implement it immediately.

You cannot continue being the same person, doing the same things, and expect different results. Einstein was right in calling it insanity!

Change is uncomfortable, but necessary when you want to start over.

7. Come up with a motto

Mottos really help stay motivated. Starting over is tough, and along the road, there are going to be plenty of days when you will want to go back instead of taking steps in the forward direction. On days like these, a motto will inspire you to pull up your socks and speed ahead.

Pick a motto for yourself. The trick behind choosing the right motto is going for one that speaks to you. Write it down on a piece of paper and tape it to your mirror or anywhere that you happen to look every day, could be the kitchen cabinet or the television cabinet, anywhere.

Whenever you feel like you are about to give up, loom at your motto.

8. “I know that I know nothing”

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Only a wise person can accept this truth. Be that person. Along this mission of starting over, your ego will try to hold sway over you. It will take decisions for you. Do not let that happen.  And the best way to do that is to accept that you know nothing.

We believe that we know ourselves, that we know the people around us and the people of the world. But nothing could be further from the truth.

9. Give yourself some treats

Remember the mini goals? Whenever you achieve one of those, you should reward yourself. If you don’t do that, the whole idea of starting over will feel like a never-ending pointless trap. So when you complete all the things on your to-do list well within time, reward yourself with a back rub or a movie or a pastry of your choice. This will help you stay positive.

10. The only way is the one forward

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You will have to constantly push yourself forward. You will have to remind yourself that going back is not an option. That is not why you started on this journey of changing yourself, right? You started this journey because you wanted to reach a specific place, you wanted to be a specific someone. And the only way to reach the destination is by moving toward it, not away from it!

No matter what happens, you need to march ahead.

Suggested read: 23 Simple Ways To Love Yourself Every Single Day

That is all we have on today’s post. Did you like what you read? Let us know in the comment section.

See you again tomorrow!

Featured image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License 

Article Name
How To Start Over And Have The Life You Want
In life, we wish we could wipe our slates clean & start over. Second chances are rare, but when they come, do them right, by learning how to start over.


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