We all know the dating red flags, do we not?
But did you know that there are yellow flags in dating too – those that are easily slipped up (love is (color?)blind, no?) – and can quickly turn into a flaming orange, and then, a blazing red?
Wondering what?
A yellow flag in dating is a seemingly harmless symptom of a potential issue/trouble that can crop up. An orange flag, on the other hand, is the warning sign of the issue already working its way into the relationship. An unaddressed yellow flag morphs into an orange flag, which when left unheeded, can soon turn to a dangerous red.
Suggested read: 12 dating red flags you need to be wary of
So, to save you from the embarrassment, hurt, anger, or simply, the plain regret of dating a jerk, we have brought together the not-so-well-known yellow flags of the dating world.
So, sit tight and take note of all the yellow flags and their soon-to-turn-orange symptoms – for God knows, when you’d need to recognize that the ‘gentleman’ sitting right in front of you is hoisting one?
1. Well, well, I noticed that and that and that…
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So, the chairs are uncomfortable, the host kinda ditsy, and he’s fairly certain the waiter didn’t wash his hands at the busing station too. Well, that kind of scrutiny for all else but you, on dates, only speaks that this keen eye for detail isn’t the kind you’d want to look into and be lost in. Who knows, he might only use his mad skills to tell you that you stared at that tattooed guy for too long or flinched while answering his question! Clear yellow flag with fast-ticking potential to turn orange, and soon, red! Don’t wait to diffuse, just run!
2. Maybe, maybe not… it’s complicated
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Well, if you are with someone for whom all rules are arbitrary, you may do better to bail out. You cannot spend all your life trying to figure out just what the person thinks is right. For example, if he states he is anti-marriage but shall still be up for it, coz his parents are pro-marriage and deems ‘marriage’ necessary if kids are involved, although he isn’t a fan of the tiny tots either, then, you have a problem. A BIG one. You see, he says a≠b, but b=c and c=a, then how does a≠b?? Confusing much? You bet! If you notice that the person you are dating never seems to be getting his facts constant but keeps changing the variables, you’d better opt out of solving the complex equations for him! Algebra ended with school, and thankfully so! You don’t need them in relationships. An out-and-out orange flag!
3. When the hahaha bites
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While a good and refreshing sense of humor is most certainly a welcome trait, humor that interlaces with quick jabs and subtle insults (sexist or otherwise), is your cue to notice the deeper pattern. While it is one thing to pack a punch with intellectual depth or laugh off an awkward interaction with a friend or even the waitress, it is a different matter altogether to rub off on someone else’s status, education, achievement, looks, or background. So, if the jokes your partner makes constantly seem to belittle or downplay someone else and he/she excuses them with an ‘I’m joking/just kidding’ type tokens, remember this biting humor can soon come bite you in the a*s. If it happens infrequently, yellow flag. You might try a polite suggestion, a witty rejoinder that shows them the offensiveness quotient of their joke, and see what happens. If they mend their ways, haha – if not, orange flag and your cue for the exit!
4. No jokes on ME
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Calm confidence, self-assuredness, and cool composure are definite pluses. But the ability to let loose and play the fool and laugh at oneself displays a certain amount of self-permission to be open and vulnerable. Anybody who is never able to take a good-hearted joke, loosen the strings a little or let go of the tight reigns is perhaps, keeping from sharing part/s of self. While this may be rooted in bad personal experiences, and hence, be addressed as a treatable yellow, any other reason behind withholding complete confidence and being uptight is an orange, and might flare into a flaming red on probing!
Suggested read: I am 30 and on my way to understanding love!
5. Touch no touch tadaa
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If a guy touches you even when you have taken care to draw boundaries with your body language – fast-ticking yellow. But if he persists on touching you after you have passed a verbal reminder, orange-turned-red. You do not need a man who has no respect for your YESes and NOs. Similarly, if a man’s body language seems non-committal, say, he always hugs you with one arm or just stands there like a robot while you hug him, you have a definite yellow flag there. If a ‘talk’ helps, tadaa. If not, you’d do well to take a U-turn!
6. What happens when tearworks fly
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This is one of the most important things when you’ve been dating for quite some time. When you share your ups and downs with another, it is normal to let yourself cry for a pressing hurt. If the guy expresses anything other than concern and a genuine desire (in words or action) to stay by your side, it is an orange flag. I remember one guy walking out of the room as soon as I was teary-eyed, while another knew that someone had caused me hurt and was ready to hurt that ‘someone’ instead of staying on to comfort me! A major orange flag!
7. Did you notice that hot guy/girl
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While it is normal for both partners to check out other members of the opposite sex, pointing them out continuously may be a bad sign. If it happens as an outcome of insecurity about your feelings for them and to gauge your reaction, well, fixable and hence, a yellow flag. But if it happens because the person is upset with you and is using this to get back at you, an orange flag! The lines in this case may sometimes get blurred as insecurity may grow and transform into a crazed level of possessiveness, entitlement/ownership, and consequent need to control.
Suggested read: What do men want in a relationship?
8. But that’s what everyone does
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If your partner is always seen as conforming to set rules or doing what everyone around is doing, for he knows no other way, you may have solid reason to question their own footing and ability to take decisions. And this is a fast-ticking orange flag! You do not want to end up as someone’s babysitter/guardian/chaperon all your life!
Have you ever been near these yellow flags? Do you see them changing to orange, or worse, red?
Are there any more yellow/orange flags you noticed around you? Hit us up in the comments below.
Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License
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