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No Means NO: If You Still Don’t Get It, Here’s Your Handy Handbook For Consent

I don’t really get why there’s so much confusion about consent, still. NO means NO, how hard is it?


Image source: telegraphindia

But because certain men still do not understand the deal with consent, we decided to dish out the ultimate guide and cover it, once and for all. So, to all the men out there who are still debating whether a tipsy girl is fair game or if a girlfriend or wife does have the right to deny a man the ‘inviolable rights of the aroused male libido,’ we are spelling out all the rules for consent. Sit up and take note:

1. NO means NO– If we say no once, don’t hang around waiting for us to change our mind or worse, trying to convince or pressure us to! We shouldn’t have to repeat ourselves on this one.

2. We mean what we say– It doesn’t matter what you think our ‘gestures/actions’ are saying, what matters is what words we are pouring out of our mouths. And if we have asked you to buzz off, you better get away from us.

3. Alcohol isn’t your wingman– If you think that getting us tipsy is the surefire way you can get us in bed, your intentions are reeking of dishonesty already. If you have to get us sloshed to crawl between the sheets with you, you are taking advantage!

4. We have the right to say NO even during sex– No matter whether we have let you in our bedrooms, gotten naked or even climbed atop you, if we are saying no, you aren’t entitled to sex for the sheer time and effort investment! We can ask you to stop anytime and you have to stop!

5. Dating ≠ consent– Just because you are my boyfriend doesn’t give you the right to mount me whenever you like. You need consent- just like anyone else!

Suggested read: My screams against marital rape: A marital rape survivor’s diary

6. Consent for one thing ≠ consent for everything– Just because we are game for oral does not mean we will be game for anal or just because we tell you we’d like to go for anal does not, in any way, mean we will notch up the experiment to some sadist version of BDSM. You need to get consent for each activity. You can’t just group them altogether in your head and assume we are up for the fantasies in your head!

7. What we are wearing has sh*t to do with anything– Whether I am in my baggy jeans or wearing my hot pants, I am NOT asking for anything. What I wear (or don’t) has got sh*t to do with your libido. Keep it zipped.

This kind of lame deduction leads to victim shaming- when rapes happen. Be the change you want to see.

8. Underage girls can’t give consent and you should pass up- It does not matter if a high school girl is throwing herself at you or doing everything possible to exhort you to release the animal from your denim cage. She is underage and cannot legally give consent- so back off!

9. Any intimate act needs consent– Sex isn’t the be-all and end-all for taking consent. You need to take consent for dating us, kissing us- even coming close and touching us!

10. We understand that your consent matters too– No matter what they say about men being ever-ready for sex, we know that you are as much entitled to yielding or withholding consent as we are! And that’s the kind of society we aim to be in!

Are we clear?

Featured image source: telegraphindia

Article Name
No Means NO: A Handy Handbook For Consent
For those idiots who still don't understand consent correctly!
Sejal Parikh

Sejal Parikh

"I'm a hurricane of words but YOU can choose the damage I do to you..."