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This A-Z Lesson On Masculinity Will Show You Why People Will Never Know What True MASCULINITY Is

Masculinity, a word that is not only misused but is also ‘the father’ of other ‘abused’ words and ideas, Feminism being the primary! But let’s not allow ladies first today because we all know that it’s just a scam!

*Controlling the in-built feminist device kicking in*

As soon as a child is born with the ‘essentials’ that make him a boy, the bar is raised for him to become a man someday. But what is a man?

  • Someone who’s not a p*ssy
  • Who has grown a pair
  • Someone who subscribes to the following notions

A – Acting fresh


Image source: wifflegif

“How you doin’?”

Don’t say it unless:

  1. You are Joey
  2. You are Joey
  3. You are Joey

B – Boasting about heroic events

I still remember Joffrey’s face when he had to take charge of his army but was busy wondering if his mommy was calling for something urgent instead! Just saying! 😉

C – Cracking dirty jokes


Image source: thebengalurean

Have you heard that one where the hot girl? Not funny!

D – Dwarfing women


Image source: Tumblr

Factually and figuratively!

E – Enjoying the prodigal son status

Now this! Dad’s claim that they love their children equal and don’t discriminate; they divide their wealth in half – for the son’s education and the daughter’s wedding. Oh, yea dad’s a man too!

F – Feeling women in public transport


Image source: Pinterest

Feelings and real men are supposed to have no connection whatsoever, but this ‘feeling’ seems to amuse them a lot!

G – Going shirtless

Wait, the ‘abs’ are getting loaded!

H – Hating the homosexuals

Homophobia is the only fear that daunts the real men. They feel it’s a communicable disease that can spread by talking normally with homosexuals or treating them as equals!

I – Itching their privates in public


Image source: Tumblr

And that look on their face when they do it!

J – Joining the gym


Image source: Giphy

And putting statuses about it so that people know coz the main objective of hitting it is, letting everyone know.

K – Knowing where to put it! 😉

You know nothing, Jon Snow!

L – Lending money to bros

Coz bros before hoes and if we are still going with Snow, ‘crows’ before hoes!

M – Man-saluting aka farting


Image source: Giphy

Blowing your own trumpet! 😉

Suggested read: This A-Z lesson on FemiNazis will show you how feminism is abused

N – Not crying!

‘Mard ko dard nahi hota’ remember?

O – Ogling women with x-ray eyes


Image source: indiatimes

‘Choli ke peeche kya hai?’ The eternal question!

P – Peeing in public

Just sprinkling the plants on the sidewalks so that they grow!

Q – Quoting Rocky Balboa

And The Godfather. How could I forget The Godfather?!

R – Running away from household chores*


Image source: Tumblr

*Terms and conditions apply: Only applicable IF ever asked to perform any chores!

S – Smoking like a chimney

That’s like being on fire, man!

T – Traveling in boxers  (exclusively)

Oh! Those manly hairy legs!

U – Using derogatory slangs  


Image source: Tumblr

Yo dawg I erd u like ta use slangs, mah nigga!

V –  Visualizing women naked

Shake that biscuit babe, shake it for me!

W – Watching porn

‘Porn’ this way!

X – X-ing every girlfriend for the next

Ashley Madison account holder?

Y – Yelling at their subordinates


Image source: imgur

A man’s voice should be daunting like thunder! Guess what Bee Gees have to say about that!

Z – Zapping people with their biker moves (quite literally!)

May the ‘farce’ be with you!

But is this really what maketh a man? High time we THINK!

Featured image source: erepublik

Article Name
This A-Z Lesson On Masculinity Will Show You Why People Will Never Know What True MASCULINITY Is
Because the 'masculinity' the world wears isn't what maketh a man!
Riya Roy

Riya Roy

“If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster.” This Isaac Asimov line, embraces my love for writing in the finest and most desperate way that it is and should be! I was tormented by the earnestness of the written word not very early in my journey. But once smitten, it has helped me devour life twice over; savoring the moment and indulging in its memories. As a flâneuse, I wander to understand the intricacies of human relationships. Realizing that, they are just different manifestations of the same feeling of love, has been my greatest learning. I seek to share its opulence through the words I type.