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10 Topics You Should Avoid Like The Plague, On The First Date!

When you’re out on your first date, you want to put your best foot forward, which can make for a stressful experience. Under the pressure, many people forget what not to say on a first date and completely screw it up!

It’s common to get extremely nervous and slip up, no matter how many first dates you’ve been on. But whether you like it or not, your first impression will be based on how you talk and what you say.

We feel really bad for all of you out there, who are sweating bullets at the thought of a first date and can’t figure out how to go about it on your own. So here’s something that will help you sail through this one smoothly: avoid the below mentioned conversation topics if you want there to be a second, third, and fourth date!

Suggested read: 10 awesome reasons why dating in your 30s is different, in a good way

1. Going on about yourself

couple on a date

Image source: Shutterstock

Most people don’t understand when to stop when they start talking about themselves. Yes, you should talk about something related to you when you are asked, but stop there. There’s absolutely no need to describe your qualities in depth to the person you’re meeting – instead, show it over time if you get the chance. Answer a question and follow it up with a casual question of your own, instead of giving them pointless information that they might not even care about. Some people will like you for who you are even if you tell them things that don’t concern them, but others won’t even be listening. You’ll know which category they belong to only over a period of time, so play it safe and don’t give unnecessary information on a first date.

2. Previous relationships


Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

There is absolutely no reason to talk about your previous relationships. Talking about the past can end up becoming a pretty bitter conversation because not everyone has moved on in the truest sense of the word and you don’t want to dig up old graves that have taken so long to bury. Don’t ask them why their previous relationships haven’t worked out either. If it comes up, sum it up briefly without going into the details. First dates are not for bitching about your ex.

On that note, don’t crib about anybody you don’t like – you can mention politely that you’re not quite fond of whoever you’re talking about. But when you crib and whine about somebody to your date, they are going to wonder whether you’ll do the same about them to the next person. Instead, focus on the person you’re with at that very moment, and getting to know them.

3. Sex

couple in bed

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

A first date is about getting to know the person, doing some harmless flirting, and enjoying their company. Jumping on this topic because you can’t think of anything else to say or out of curiosity might not work in your favor unless your date is looking for the same thing. There is a lot more to talk about when you meet someone for the first time and you won’t run out of topics, that’s for sure. We promise! What not to say on a first date is, “Are you a virgin?” or “How many people have you been with?” It’s none of your business, as of now, and maybe even later on too.

4. How much money you make


Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Don’t, we repeat, don’t go on about how much money you make. They might not earn as much you do, and you don’t want to make somebody feel uncomfortable on your first date. It’s nice that you can look after yourself and manage to save some on top of that, but talking about your income can offend the other person, more often than not. So don’t bring up your earnings, nor ask them about how much they make. In the same vein, you don’t have to flaunt either by telling them about how many trips you’ve made abroad and how you only fly business class.

5. Politics


Image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

While this can be an interesting topic later when you know each other better, you’re better off not bringing it up on your first date, because you can’t ever be sure of their stand on political affairs, whether they’re aware of what’s currently happening in the world, which party they support, and so on. You don’t want to bore somebody out of their mind on the very first date by going on about how much you like the work that a particular party in question has been doing, expressing how upset you are with their incapability to meet deadlines, or rambling on about conspiracy theories.

Suggested read: All the reasons why he didn’t call you after the first date

6. Your religious beliefs

man holding rosary

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

When people start talking about religion and religious beliefs, the topic often ends up in an argument where one person or the other feels like their beliefs are targeted. You want to avoid that on a first date. After all, first dates are supposed to be all about getting to know each other and having fun. If this topic comes up, express your sentiments without hurting them and wind it up before they go into detail. Live and let live. 

7. Medical conditions


Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

Medical and psychological issues never come under the fun conversations category, so you might as well avoid them altogether. Talk about food or traveling instead – everyone loves food. More importantly, you don’t know what your date might have experienced with family or close friends, and you don’t want to remind them of past trauma. For all you know, it might be an extremely touchy topic for them because of a personal experience. You really don’t want to make them tear up on your first date!

8. Things universally considered gross

woman expressing disgust

Image source: Pixabay, under Creative Commons License

When you’re on a date with someone new, would you enjoy listening to stories revolving around poop and a person throwing up on somebody’s shoe? No, right? If you don’t like listening to it, don’t tell it either. Ladies, please don’t talk about your periods – it won’t set the mood right. And men, don’t bring up or worse, demonstrate your weird abilities to your date – like touching your tongue to your nose or something equally… icky. Believe it or not, people don’t realize what comes out of their mouth when they’re nervous, and some people really have no idea about which topics to just simply avoid. 

9. Your idea of a perfect partner


Image source: Pinterest

Please don’t ask or get into each other’s ideals of a perfect partner. You don’t know this person for longer than an hour, and asking this question is going to make them wonder where you’ve taken this date in your mind. More importantly, when you tell somebody about your idea of a perfect significant other, they may try to emulate that ideal and constantly wonder how they stack up, instead of being who they really are. Most of the time, people can’t continue to carry on the charade for too long, so once you’re in a relationship, you’ll get to know them for who they are, and then you’d be wondering why you didn’t see the truth about them before. Telling someone about your idea of a perfect partner can come off as intimidating to them, so you might as well not steer clear of this topic altogether. If you’re asked about it, say something neutral and change the topic subtly. 

Suggested read: 10 compelling reasons why you didn’t make it past the first date

10. Where is this headed?

couple on a date

Image source: Flickr

You aren’t going to know where it’s headed and how they are unless you spend more time together, so asking this question on the first date is pretty pointless. It’s understood that you want to know what to expect out of this date, whether they’re looking for something serious or a casual fling, but asking this question is only going kill the mood. Instead, why not enjoy this date for what it is without building any sort of expectation? Just go with the flow, talk about pleasant engaging things, and enjoy your time together.

This list of what not to say on a first date aside, in the end, it all depends on the kind of person you’re out with. If they make you feel comfortable and seem comfortable talking about most things, don’t think too much and simply go with the flow. Don’t forget to smile, laugh freely, and talk about things as the conversation takes you.

Happy dating! :)

Featured image source: Dollarphotoclub

Article Name
What Not To Say On A First Date
The first date is an opportunity to get to know the person you're meeting. So be careful of what not to say on a first date by steering clear of them.
Shachi Lavingia

Shachi Lavingia

Shachi is currently pursuing her Masters in English Literature. She loves catching up on TV shows and spends her time doodling about things that make a difference. You will often find her at Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf, sipping on Ice Blended Mocha while she writes about things that actually matter. You can have a look at her work here: