They say that the thrill lies in the chase. Dating includes this ploy known as playing hard to get. A woman may play hard to get as a tease or to see whether you are interested enough. She might be doing that in order to receive attention from you or to test your level of commitment. Does she seem kind of uninterested, but she does seem to enjoy your attention? Attractive women get pursued all the time and can indirectly hint their romantic interest in several ways which might be quite confusing. It’s their way of seeing whether you are self-possessed and can figure out their tricks or someone who will chicken out of pursuing someone tough to get.
The trouble is when you can’t tell whether they are genuinely not interested or just playing hard to get. Given below is a list of signs that she is interested but playing you as though she’s hard to get:
1. She never said she is uninterested directly.
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When a girl says no, she means a firm NO. However, if they behave like they don’t care but haven’t actually said that they don’t want to be pursued in spite of looking right through you, there may be a probability she is indeed playing hard to get. She might do this by small gestures like smiling a bit when she’s chastising you for bringing her a present, or twirling her hair while talking to you about something serious. But beware though, because it’s a subtle art to read a woman’s body language. It takes loads of practice, and it isn’t an exact science.
2. She takes too long to respond to your calls or texts but when she does, she flirts a lot.
This is a classic move on her part. She wants to seem interested but not too available. She’ll tell you that her schedule is really full right now but she has the time for pointless banter and hypothetical questions about how you would deal with her in, of course, purely hypothetical situations. This is her way of telling you that she is interested but she won’t make it that easy for you. And this way, she can learn stuff about you that will give her a clearer sense of judgment about whether she wants to be pursued by someone like you.
3. She keeps mentioning her other male associates casually whom you don’t know.
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Paul from comparative literature class, Howard from human resources, Frank from the gym; you keep hearing about how funny or crazy these seemingly random guys are even though you have no clue about who they are. It’s funny because she doesn’t really need to bring them up in the conversation. Yet, somehow she’ll talk about them and look at you somewhat expectantly and rather innocently which seems suspicious. She is trying to make you work harder for her attention and perhaps hoping to get some kind of reaction that will make her feel desired. This is also her way of figuring out how interested you are in pursuing her.
4. She blows hot and cold all the time.
When you are interacting, she will giggle at your jokes or touch you briefly on the arm; she will show affirmative signs. Just when you think you are getting somewhere, she will begin to give you a cold shoulder. At this very frustrating point for you, she is truly testing your patience and interest. So, you could either put up with it and pursue her relentlessly, or simply confront her and tell her to cut it out and be straight with you.
5. Notice the way she behaves around you.
A person, regardless of whether they are playing hard to get, if interested will let you know whether they are into you with the way they speak to you. If she is interested, her body language will reveal it. She will make eye contact, perhaps even touch you, or brush past you. She might unconsciously or consciously play with her hair, bite her lips, cross her legs, and gesticulate in other ways that make every bit of her noticeable to you. If you are a good listener, which is an admirable trait to possess, her talking will be interspersed with inquiries for or about you. Ergo, she is keen on knowing things about you. She might compliment you, which is definitely not bad. However, if she casually insults you or pokes fun at you, don’t be put off. It’s a long-standing flirting practice used by almost everyone where they do not want to inflate your ego any further; thus, getting the upper hand.
Suggested read: 7 failsafe ways of playing hard to get that actually work
6. She will put an effort into how she looks around you.
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Even if it is an infinitesimal, most negligible effort, she will try not to look like a rag picker around you. If she were attracted to you, she would want to look and feel attractive around you. You probably will not see her in sweatpants or oily hair, and in that case, she is definitely a little into you.
7. Pay attention to how she acts around other people.
If she likes you romantically, it should be a tad different. She might be a little less inhibited around her friends in comparison to you. Perhaps, she is trying to make quite the impression on you, and in that situation, she will show a little more dignity than she usually does. This is a good sign that she’s interested and not just playing too hard to get.
8. Now, observe the way she treats you around her friends.
If she likes and respects you as an individual, she will certainly introduce you to her other friends and not completely ignore your presence just because her friends are there. She will, from time to time, glance at you or check the way you react at some inappropriate joke your friend cracked, because while it may seem normal to her, she might want to see it from your perspective. If you get along with her friends and fit in, it surely won’t hurt your chances of impressing her.
9. She will try to appear mysterious when she discloses things about herself.
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No one likes being predictable and boring. Everyone wants to be intriguing and sexy. Therefore, when she does open up to you, she will keep some of it to herself in order to hold your interest and keep you guessing. Curiosity fuels the appeal and keeps it alive. She’ll drop hints about herself to grip your attention. That’s one sure way of keep you wanting more.
10. She has shown interest in you very subtly.
Of course, she won’t answer your phone calls or text you immediately. She will wait for a few hours before replying, and she will, most probably reject any proposals for a date that you come up with. In turn, if she calls you or texts you in a day or two, ‘just to say hi,’ or counters your proposal with a different one that involves another plan or venue, she is without doubt very interested and playing hard to get. That way, she is the one who makes the plans and she is also the one who gets to say no. Therefore, the proverbial ball now lies in her proverbial court.
Suggested read: How to get your crush to like you – in 10 easy steps
Playing hard to get is a part of the dating procedure that also proves to be fun mostly. If any or some of the signs above are valid for your case, the woman in question is interested indeed, but is stringing you along to figure out your level of commitment and interest. However, if she tells you otherwise and denies the fact that she is playing hard to get, strongly, please back off and respect her space.
Try to gain her interest through an intellectually stimulating conversation rather than dressing up for her or slathering yourself with body spray hoping that the commercials are true for once. If nothing else works, move on. It wouldn’t change anything no matter how much you tried. Don’t demand her attention or stalk her. No woman likes a guy who just can’t take a hint.
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