10 Things You Can Do Now That You Have Been Dumped

by Shruti Fatehpuria · November 4, 2015

Honey did your a**hole ex just dump you for a new girl who he thinks is hotter than you? Then, you’ve landed at the right place. Coz by the time you will be nearing the end of this piece, you will be all-smiles! I bet.

1. Binge eating

Image source: Giphy

More like see-anything-edible-and-pop-it-in-your-mouth exercises 24*7. Coz the gym rat routine is out the window and ohh, not to forget friends shall bring in free food too- coz hey, you just broke up! So yes, ordered food, free food, this food, that food, any food, every food. And oh- you don’t have to clean up either!

2. Hello, sweatpants!

Image source: Tumblr

Now this one does not even need an explanation. I missed you sweet sweats!

3. Cherish your *me* time

Image source: Giphy

Now that you don’t have a guy obsessing over you all the time, you can either slip into your grungy bun, sweats avatar and pop your ‘I just got dumped’ card for every time you are called out for not climbing out of bed, not showering, not combing or even simply, not getting out of your jail-home! OR…and this OR is sexy- you could simply take to the razors and scissors and combs in a new way, slip into your sexiest outfits, get a new haircut, go shoe-shopping and revel in YOU! Whatever suits you, hon!

4. Dance like a freaking queen

Image source: Giphy

Take out all those Govinda moves inside you and dance like you don’t give a f**k. There is no one out there to judge you for the wild moves which will leave you humming like a horse (yes, horses hum, at least post breakup- yes, they do). Humor me, will ya? I just got dumped! <wow, you can be using this card a lot>

5. Be the psycho you are

Yes, girls are crazy and we know how psychotic we can get! Post breakup, you don’t need to fake being sane. You can be your own psycho version and revel in it too. Awesome, isn’t it?

6. Single and mingle

Be ready to meet a whole new world you were literally blind to because your eyes were set upon one as**ole guy. Welcome to the world of hotness, darling!

7. Ben and Jerry’s

Image source: Tumblr

Okay, you are probably going to judge me but there was a time when I wished I for a breakup just to enjoy those long endless hours of digging into my favorite Ben and Jerry scoop. Made me feel like a film actress! *Musical score in the background*

8. Stalk like a boss

Image source: Tumblr

Yes, it’s sad- but you just got dumped- so you are allowed to be. Stalk the s*it out of your ex and the b*tch he is dating, go on a comparison marathon with your girls in tow and drinks and mouths overflowing. Once, you have had your fill, block and move on to drunk girl selfies. Yay!

Suggested read: 10 problems all women with small b**bs face

9. The girl gang

Image Source: mtv

The best thing about having doting girlfriends is that they take you back without asking another question. So, feel free to hug your old girlfriends and share nasty stories of pathetic boyfriend and the time when he used to stink and his humor sucked and how happy you are to be living this single life all over again- with them by your side.

10. No more messy mascara

Image source: Giphy

Once you have moved on, you won’t have to worry about running your costly mascara anymore. Your eyes will have that glint which will knock hot hunks and make them wish that they too could enjoy the perks of dating someone like you.

So, smile and pose for that perfect pout and take your selfie which will leave your *X* wondering *Y*!

Featured image source: Google, copyright-free image under Creative Commons License

Summary