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10 Truths About Dating An Extroverted Introvert

An extroverted introvert is a member of the ambiverted species who rarely stays at the introverted or extroverted end of the personality spectrum by vacillating between the dual ends. Akin to the oxymoronic label that the extroverted introvert wears, this person is an intriguing blend of paradoxes. And perhaps, this is one of the foremost reasons as to why they are so hard to gauge. After all, being the life of the party one moment and reveling in solitude another isn’t quite a cogent pattern to decipher. How does one make head or tail of a person who’d blabber non-stop until the wee hours of the morning one day but will retire to the quiet of his room the next, with a bold ‘do not disturb’ sign at the door? Sounds baffling, eh?

man laughing

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But when is human nature not-so-confounding? We do not live in a state of absolutes and the extroverted introvert, too, is a delicious mix of opposites – who paints a simply breathtaking picture in stunning but not necessarily complementary hues, that leaves one delighted with the canvas of life. Amidst all the confusion that the nature of an extroverted introvert may create lies the delicate balance between the best of both worlds like the exhilarating experience of being on the precipice of a high mountain and witnessing creation. Of course, the balance may be perturbed ever-so-often and in it lies the REAL-ness of the extroverted introvert – his all-too-human quirks, follies, and oftentimes nerve-wracking knack for creating confusion!

Suggested read: 6 easy signs to know if your partner is an introvert

So what happens when you are dating this mysterious being? What happens when you fall for the extroverted introvert you believed was an extrovert but can now see the other side of? What happens when you decide to decode his ambiguous behavior but do not know how to?

You turn to NLT for help. And although we do not promise a complete step-by-step decoding (for we disavowed absolutes at the outset), we do have a few truths that will help you hold his hand and get to a LOVE-lier place. Here’s what you need to know about dating an extroverted introvert:

1. They are selectively social

man with his friends

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Yep, they will not dive in without taking a good time to dip their legs into the pool and feel the waters swirl about. They do not have a problem with socializing but they do tend to feel that these social gatherings or so-called ‘rites of passages’ aren’t their thing. They would much rather be with the two best friends they have than hang out with a bunch of blabbermouths who they’ve met an hour ago and who’ve already started calling them nicknames! Aargghh! So you might have to be quite tolerant of their choices in the realm- as they will pick their social moments and that means NO, they won’t be accompanying you to your best friend’s party.

2. They are a mix of opposites..and it can get hard

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While extroverted introverts can be exuberant, chatty and fun one moment, they may withdraw into a shell in the blink of an eye. Non-stop chatter, small talk and a strict code of silence can all come to transpire in a short duration, when with an extroverted introvert. And very often without notice. They come across as someone who just talks about everything under the sun but you’d be surprised to see how much they are actually living in their heads. Don’t get confused. They just start walking from one end of the spectrum, reach their limit and turn around for reaching the other end. And oh, sometimes they take a long jump too. Keeping pace can get difficult.

3. They cannot be boxed in

man thinking

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Extroverted introverts are highly opinionated and you might have a tough time convincing them of something they are opposed to, in their mind and soul. Plus, the reasons for the same will most likely surface on their mental landscape and retreat into the white swathes of billowy clouds therein, hardly making it to their mouths and you will most likely feel, they are plain stuck-up. Pulling your hair? Well, you just have to give them time. Maybe they will give you a valid reason four days later in tap class!

4. When it comes to their relationships, time is the best bet

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You cannot expect an extroverted introvert to fall in love with you overnight. Dating games drain us and we have no patience with the fakers. They see through all facades but will not throw them in your face. And as such, will take their own time to test the waters. So do NOT rush them. Or else it will be goodbye.

Suggested read: 7 things you MUST know if you’re dating an introvert

5. They have impeccable analytical skills

lonely man

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Since the social side of an extroverted introvert is brimming with curiosity and the intoverted side is always internalizing the knowledge gained therof, processing facts- these people make for great analyzers. So the next time you need help figuring out why X is behaving in a strange manner or why a particular event came to be so, just ask.

6. They are often misunderstood

man talking to his friend

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The elements in an extroverted introvert’s persona are at constant tug-of-war. As such, several baffling behavioral patterns emerge, which aren’t as complex if one digs deeper. But most people tend to graze the surface and often mistake their intentions and behavior. For example, an extroverted introvert can come across as extremely flirtatious but if you tell him that, it might be the best joke he’d heard in a long time. I mean, in reality, he can only stand like..four people!

7. They aren’t really a big fan of extroversion

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While group discussions and team work aren’t quite an anathema, they still believe that extroversion is overdone and could actually make-do with a little room for individual reflection and action. They need to retreat into the solace of quiet to charge their social batteries and it is quite a task.

8. They love their alone-time

depressed man

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Silence and moments of quiet are their favorites. Solitude≠loneliness for them. They are content with a book, a cup of coffee and their favorite music in the background as much as they are with lulls in the conversation. Yep, you do not need to fill in those gaps. Silence doesn’t scare them. But do not trespass on their alone-time or else you might see a cranky monster!

9. Adaptation isn’t one of their strong points

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When people mistake them as social butterflies, they feel like they need to drive around with their social light off. Even so, they get mistaken for being anti-social, when the plain matter of fact is that they aren’t really okay with switching the extroverted and introverted sides of their personality as per the situation. It is more internal and solely dependent on them. As such, adaptation to settings and circumstances might be a taut string to pull.

Suggested read: 10 online dating tips for introverts that actually work!

10. If they like you, they really mean it

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They avoid the ‘casual dating’ culture like the plague. They, anyway, cannot boast a high tolerance level for people- so needless piling-on without consequence seems like a waste of energy, time and investment. So, if an extroverted introvert has agreed to go on a date with you and tells you he likes you, he really means it. And it is a huge compliment.

Seems like too much work? Not so- when you are in love! All the best! :)

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Article Name
10 Truths About Dating An Extroverted Introvert
Dating an extroverted introvert may seem like slacklining. But is it THAT hard? Not really. Check out these 10 truths about dating an extroverted introvert.
Sejal Parikh

Sejal Parikh

"I'm a hurricane of words but YOU can choose the damage I do to you..."